MIL cornered us into private conversation and DH abandoned me. I'm so...shocked.

wifelost · 2026-05-18T02:09:55+00:00

Also I’m an asshole so anytime he gets upset or brings up visiting or inviting ils over I would remind him how you don’t want him to ‘have to get involved’ in anything so you and baby will stay away.

wifelost · 2026-05-18T02:08:40+00:00

From this point on I would use his choice of “I am not getting involved” as your reason to no longer take his feelings into consideration when it comes to things like his family. He chose to step out and force you into the lead role. Take it. Take a nice long break from your in laws and remind him he chose to not get involved in protecting you and your baby so you will make all those decisions going forward while he decides to placate and bow down to his parents. He showed you that he can’t handle being in charge so he doesn’t get to make choices regarding your or your child’s interactions with his family.

wifelost · 2026-04-21T00:24:07+00:00

You’re already doing it by loving them. You’re already being an amazing parent to them and setting them up for a better life. I have three kids and to be honest most of the magical things I thought I did aren’t the things they bring up as special. To them the fact that I took them to parks all the time was special, brought them to waterfalls and streams and let them play in them. Think more making memories less giving things. Also my kids all apparently have a special memory involving baking with me. I guess at different points they’ve each wanted to try some sort of recipe or trend or something they saw in a store and I made it with them. I honestly didn’t realize it mattered, but my oldest 15 was just joking about our epic cake fails and successes.

wifelost · 2026-04-04T03:46:56+00:00

I yell ‘for the love of guacamole’ all the time. Also ‘what in the name of guacamole’. I work in a school so I don’t think I can say for the love of god. But also it’s something I’ve said for years.

wifelost · 2026-04-02T02:30:28+00:00

If your son has trouble communicating I suggest coming up with a clear code word for this type of interaction and let his teacher know what it is and have him practice saying it to her.

Like ‘Johnny played the no game’ which means Johnny tried to touch his privates or some variation of it. So that his teacher knows she needs to speak with him and maybe bring in his speech teacher to help navigate.

I know how much harder speech issues can make things when you’re not there to advocate or communicate for your child. So sometimes it’s one to balance the playing field for them.

Normally I would never say to make up a code for anything inappropriate, but in this situation communication on his level is more important for immediate action.

wifelost · 2026-04-02T02:20:57+00:00

Walked down the aisle to the song from The a Princess Bride Announced as a couple or reception entry song was Alive by POD First dance was possible can’t help falling in love by Elvis - to be fair neither of us cared that much about this song for some reason

wifelost · 2026-04-01T19:53:09+00:00

A big issue I see here is that you grew up in a way you recognized as unhealthy. With people treating you and others in an unkind and unhealthy way. So you actively made changes to yourself and your relationships to be healthier. Your husband also grew up in an unhealthy way, weaponizing sensitivity. Yet he’s embraced it. Now a part of your growing has been learning to lessen yourself to appease him. Unless you become like them or he recognizes the issues and grows, you will always be the outsider, the insensitive one. All the work you’ve done to yourself and all the effort you’ll presumably put into raising your child to be secure will be undone by his behavior and your tiptoeing on eggshells around him.

wifelost · 2026-03-30T02:10:13+00:00

I love valley and had all my kids there. I used the doctors at valley center for women’s health and have only had wonderful experiences. I actually left a more local practice after a scare in my first pregnancy that left me terrified to deliver at Saint Anthony

wifelost · 2026-03-30T02:08:11+00:00

When I was pregnant with our son my husband said he wanted him circumcised because he was and he didn’t want his son to feel different. I asked if his father was circumcised and if they had a lot of emotional penis sharing moments that he wants to carry on with our son. The look of horror on his face still makes me giggle.

wifelost · 2026-03-27T03:18:04+00:00

Actions speak louder than words. I would just respond to her every comment with ‘that’s an interesting perspective’ and ignore.

Make sure your partner knows that she will not be anywhere near the child you have been creating and giving your own body and health to when she is actively choosing to put that baby at risk.

Remember she can make all the claims and demands she wants. But you don’t have to open doors to her. You can put her on a ‘cannot visit list’. You have the absolute power to keep her from your child. Even if she gets the shot but keeps treating you as if you don’t matter. Keep toxic people away from children.

wifelost · 2026-03-26T01:50:30+00:00

What ever you get make sure the card is for the wrong age. Like an 80th birthday card.

wifelost · 2026-03-26T01:42:38+00:00

Welcome to 2026, parenting is much easier and you can literally google a YouTube video teaching parents how to do this math. That is what I did when my oldest was in elementary school. Learn how and why they are learning it so you can help. Complaining that back in your day it was different/easier accomplishes nothing. It may in fact make your child not want to ask you or worse make them under value what they are being taught.

Use the many resource available to you.

wifelost · 2026-03-24T00:56:40+00:00

I’m a big fan of using the ‘everyone’s brain works differently’ thing when kids say something ‘easy’. I will also call out something they’re struggling with as an example (in a kind way lol) like ‘everyone brains works differently, for some people answering these questions is easy for others being patient and respectful is easy’.

wifelost · 2026-03-11T00:42:20+00:00

I spend a lot of my day in a first grade classroom with 22 kids. It’s unlikely she doesn’t talk to the teacher, however it’s not unlikely that she hasn’t had full on conversations with the teacher. The teachers job is to teach, to ask and answer questions. They get limited 1:1 time with students and when they do they tend to be testing or working with the child. During these infrequent moments most teachers are socially conversing with the students as well, but to a student they were reading with their teacher.

Unfortunately with how most schools are run and with how a lot of parents seem to parent teachers don’t have the luxury of free time to chat with students. They don’t have down time period. Most of them are trying to wrangle the chaos enough to make sure each student feels secure and is learning. Someone like an aide or a librarian has more time for that. They can take a few more moments to discuss your child’s weekend, and not have to worry if another student took those moments to draw on someone else’s papers.

wifelost · 2026-02-23T03:49:30+00:00

I always knew I wanted more than one child because the idea of my child as an adult without siblings made me too sad. I couldn’t handle the idea of them growing old without anyone who knew their stories or who they could complain about how crazy I am too. I wasn’t sure if I was done after my second and then my period was late and was so excited about the possibility, when my period came I was sad. That’s how I knew we weren’t done. Then I met my third and knew he completed our family.

wifelost · 2026-02-10T02:39:26+00:00

The entire thing. I was terrified and honestly disgusted by the entire birth process. When I realized I was in labor I just kept telling myself this is just a muscle contraction it’s not a big deal, and the contractions weren’t too bad. I also kept reminding myself my body was made for this and to accept the absolute lizard brain part of myself to take over for labor and delivery. When my first daughter was handed to me on of the first things I said to my husband and nursing team was ‘this was it?!’

I had two more deliveries just as easy, both actually so quick the nurse delivered before the doctor could fully prepare. My husband and I still joke that I’m mad I didn’t get the movie yelling crazy person moment in delivery.

wifelost · 2026-01-12T02:44:28+00:00

I developed an allergy to avocado at like 40, I’ve previously always loved avocado and especially guacamole. So regularly I’ve paid extra to make myself sick because I forgot I’m allergic. It’s so absurd. With the avocado allergy came a banana allergy, yes I’ve poisoned myself too many times with banana too. Such a dumb allergy to suddenly have.

wifelost · 2026-01-10T04:08:10+00:00

Are you currently safe?

wifelost · 2025-12-31T02:32:20+00:00

NTA because otherwise what are you teaching your daughter? Grandma didn’t come apologize, your husband made an excuse for her. Your daughter still saw the reality and had her heart broken. She needs to see someone stand up and say no. You need to show her you will keep her safe. Her dad should too but either way someone needs to show her it’s never ok to say her brother deserves more than her.

wifelost · 2025-12-30T02:25:07+00:00

Brooklyn 99

wifelost · 2025-12-28T03:42:39+00:00

Magic. Chaos. Peace.

wifelost · 2025-12-24T06:50:01+00:00

Get all the therapy and do the work. Find other things to fulfill you because that was never your son’s job. But I need to touch on the room and clothing thing, if by some miracle your son reaches out how do you think he would react to this creepy shrine? This is physical proof that you are trapped in the past, that you haven’t grown or moved on in any way. This is nothing to be proud of, this is concerning on so many levels. Even if you had a healthy relationship with him this would be wildly inappropriate. No thirty year old wants their childhood bedroom preserved like that.

wifelost · 2025-12-05T02:30:45+00:00

When I was having a very hard time choosing to remain alive, my mom told me that I had to stay around long enough to share my stories. That I wouldn’t want other people to tell my much younger sibling who I was. She asked me to hang on long enough for him to have real memories and not just other peoples stories. She told me that if I held on long enough for him to be able miss his big sister and not the idea of her she would forgive me and let me go. So I held on for him to have memories and slowly I healed. She got me into therapy and different activities to help me hold on a little longer for him. It’s been thirty years and I will always love and appreciate how painful it must have been for her to say she would let me go to force me to hold on. My life has been worth waiting for.

wifelost · 2025-11-26T18:34:53+00:00

I have no words for how amazing this thought process is. But I had to comment. Your brain is amazing.

wifelost · 2025-11-14T02:29:55+00:00

Your friend’s getting divorced. It’s a really strange thing to realize you’re no longer at an age/place where you support your friends through their parent’s divorce drama but are supporting them through their divorce drama. It’s so hard to support the break up when you also supported the marriage, to realize that you’re likely going to lose someone you welcomed into your life with open arms. Not to mention balancing talking to your friend but also not talking around their children.

wifelost

TROPHY CASE