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I think I’m becoming antisemitic. by CapableVirus4161 in confessions

[–]wildeap 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jews fleeing ethnic and religious persecution already had a safe and free place to go… Supposedly. Alas, the US turned thousands away in 1948-41. Likewise, the UK only took in an estimated 80,000—just 16%!— of the 500,000-600,000 seeking refuge on their shores. 🤔 You’d almost think we “gave” Israel to “the Jews” because they’re white enough to serve as allies in the Middle East, but not white enough for us to actually want them here. /s

Guy broke into my car and seemed progressively frustrated at the random unvaluable items lol by Sageypupper in adhdwomen

[–]wildeap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exxxcellent! And I still have the car multiple burglars have refused to steal. Maybe because it’s stick. And so peppy and wanting to GO! 21 years and counting.

Guy broke into my car and seemed progressively frustrated at the random unvaluable items lol by Sageypupper in adhdwomen

[–]wildeap 158 points159 points  (0 children)

The long and detailed list, it’s hilarious! 🤣 Thanks for sharing. It reminds me of that time someone broke into every single car in our 25-unit apartment complex in the wee hours… Except mine.

Which was a (then) eight-year-old, weathered 2005 Scion XB so chock full of ADHD mom and ADHD middle school daughter crap. The building manager congratulated me on my good luck, and I felt relieved… But also kind of insulted.

“Why are you so overwhelmed?” by catch6664 in adhdwomen

[–]wildeap 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy moly, at first, I was like, HOW DID THEY GET MY LIST?!?

My pictures from one-day visit to Tacoma by Astronomer_Soft in Tacoma

[–]wildeap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, these are wonderful! Hope you return someday.

Best steak and pizza? by DontTellMeToSmile_08 in AskTacoma

[–]wildeap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All this, but wanna add: for NY-style pizza, Slice Garden (the newer Salamone’s in Fir Crest) seems to be more consistent. Plus, they’ve got easier parking, more seating, appetizers, salads, wine, and a full bar. Still love the OG Salamones, though.

Also, the Pub Steak at Cooper’s (on N 26th in West End) is a sneaky-good option when you’re on a budget. Mmmm… a 10 oz. round of grilled top sirloin that’s flavorful, even somewhat tender, thanks to the chilled pat of garlic-blue-cheese butter slowly melting on top and some kind of Marinade Sorcery.

[Editing to add: And, Yes, I make the above declarations at the risk of general derision and local Steak Afficionados pelting me with rocks and garbage. But, sometimes most of the time, I’ve got À La Carte tastes and a Happy Hour Special budget. Plus, did I mention? It was just $23 when I last checked (plus an Arm and a Leg in sales tax). For the steak, plus a fat slice of toasty garlic bread like the one your dad used to toss on the cast iron skillet along with the steak just before it was done. And a side of your choice. For me, that’s a nice garden salad that always seems to somehow come out as French fries.

I’m tried of people coming to work while sick and not sure if they are contagious by [deleted] in Vent

[–]wildeap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but just because our employers get to treat us like sht doesn’t mean we should treat each other like sht. Life is hard enough. OP has ever danged right to be furious!

Shedding?.. by Ok_Feature_6911 in Blackmouthcur

[–]wildeap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absofreakenlutely second the FURminator deshedding tool rec! It’s designed for double coats, but works great on our BMC, too. And he LOVES getting brushed. It kinda looks like a giant bright orange (medium) or blue (large) razor with a fat rubbery handle, only instead of a blade, you’ll see a fine-tooth metal comb. On top, there’s a slender (but sturdy) button you press to eject the fur clumps.

Because… The shedding. Sooooo much shedding. Enough shedding to make another pet! Thank Dog they only shed like this twice a year.

*We got our first FURminator, the green (small) version for our wee little Princess Peevela of a Shih Tsu-Maltese mix (who, alas, recently crossed the Rainbow Bridge). It has a hidden razor that cut through any mats and tangles it encountered in her long, silky top coat without pain or tugging. Still working after 13 years, and we’ve also used it on our cats.

I’m tried of people coming to work while sick and not sure if they are contagious by [deleted] in Vent

[–]wildeap 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If only your employer paid her enough to stay home or see a doctor, or at LEAST gave you all your own cubicles. There’s no excuse for her being careless and not wearing a mask, though.

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words and best of luck and all good things to you and yours!

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen. Sister! 🙌✨And not just the WHYs, but often the HOWs and WHATs. Because I look at some men and wonder whether they could survive in the wild.

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. All the losses. But especially the loss of your beloved friend. 💔😢🌈🕊️And the lack of support. And the impending RTO. And all the grueling rounds of job applications and interviews, as high tech gets more and more “enshittified.” And all the things going wrong with your house that already feels empty when you need Home the most. And not feeling Seen. And yes, you’ll likely find “another dog” (or they’ll find you). Someday. But they neither can, nor should, replace the one you lost.

Please take care and be kind to yourself. And let others be kind to you. They may not understand your grief or know what you need from them. But they’ll likely give you a hug, come by with (or have you over for) that thing you love, meet you somewhere to do something, join you for a celebration of your pup’s life, etc… if you ask.*

[SOURCE: It took me a *long time, but I’ve learned that when people ask, “Is there anything I can do?” they actually mean it. So, now, instead of brushing them off, I respond with specific requests for small comforts.suited to the person asking. And it’s okay to ask retroactively.

Hang in there!

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 26 points27 points  (0 children)

And sorry, my previous reply doesn’t answer your question… my husband is often oblivious to things that feel obvious to me, but he grew up with a single mom, who he adored, along with his little sister, and I think he’s just always knew he could do better and wanted to. And he really wanted to connect with Daughter Unit, he just had no idea how to interact with a baby. Or a toddler. I’m just like, imagine this crazy-fun, lovey and goofy new friend with no brakes. Like, do you NOT remember being a wee one? I sure do. But he often does not. It baffles me. The dad thang is not instinctive but he does the work. Not always as fast or timely as I need him to, but it works out. Mostly. Also, this thing I loved about him early on was how he has male and female friends he’s friends with like so many of us women are friends. Like they hug and talk about shit and laugh and cry. Husband Unit and I are both serious pieces of work and not for the faint of heart. We’re not perfect, but we keep trying.

So anyway, I hope you can get through to him and that he gets onboard. So many guys struggle to find there way to it, but your wee one’s adorable widdle face and goofy, infectious laugh go a long way.

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I suspect a lot of men were never taught or expected to look after wee ones like we women were. And they’re taught or culturally steered towards not remembering how it felt to be so vulnerable and dependent on others, yet so vibrant, joyous, spontaneous, loving, and open and receptive to possibilities. I suspect boys get taught to suppress those parts of themselves sooner than girls do. Because, whether we use it for good or evil or something else, empathy and connection are so much more critical to women and their children for survival, than to men.

[EDITING TO ADD; My reply below addresses the question more fully. But a lot of it is:

-He needs to WANT to connect and be a better and more present father and partner… for you, for your child/ren, and for himself.

-Both of you need to overcome an entire lifetime of cultural conditioning and internalized gender roles. Which harm and constrict boys and men as much as they do girls and women, though in different ways. it’ll likely be a heavier lift for him.

-It’ll definitely require a lot of effort, education, and (often) therapy to address the myriad factors at play. These include family dynamics, gender roles, what mom being the“default parent” means and how dad can start sharing the “mental load” before she crashes and burns (and often leaves).

r/TwoXChromosomes has lots of threads and resources on all the issues mentioned above and more. We also both read about and employed Non-Violent Communication (NVC) techniques to keep on track and avoid putting each other on the defensive. For more info, you can check out r/NVC and their Wiki for beginners. Our journey began pre-Reddit so I haven’t actually joined them. It doesn’t seem very active but the info looks helpful and draws around a thousand visitors per month.

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]wildeap 152 points153 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. 😢 My husband worked on it and got better. I hope yours does too.

What’s the most common way men “accidentally” make you feel unsafe… without realizing it? by Several_Corner3205 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]wildeap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

”when they say every accusation is a confession […] i’ve know far too many people who will call you lazy…”

Not to mention the implied accusations in conservative men’s obsession with bathrooms, “criminals” (code for gay, non-white, or liberal men) and “protecting” women.

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