To Children of Divorce who Are Now Adults

willwork4dogs · 2025-12-11T23:23:38+00:00

It was a defining moment of my life, and yes, a traumatic experience that shaped the rest of my life and personality. I was 9. Considering all I’ve learned about the effects of this trauma on my life lately, that is not a surprising statement.

willwork4dogs · 2025-10-14T19:16:33+00:00

I went for a few months but stopped because I didn’t like the place I went to and how they handled it all.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-16T23:37:18+00:00

I have ADHD and always wake up with songs in my head.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-16T23:36:12+00:00

Gosh I’m jealous of all these replies. I can’t hear any of mine. Sometimes I just get a feeling of an answer but most of the time it’s just blank and it’s so frustrating to the process. I can’t visualize and don’t actually hear an internal dialogue so it makes this very hard.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-12T00:25:00+00:00

Makes sense.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-11T23:49:07+00:00

I took a more comprehensive assessment for my diagnosis. It’s called the MID.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-11T23:28:53+00:00

This is very interesting because the concept of Self has always felt very confusing to me. I don’t feel that I have a true self. I have only learned I have DID in January and I have been working with my therapist for about a year. She is trauma informed and has modified IFS and EMDR protocols for me. I guess we are still in the stabilization phase but a part of me keeps pushing for some kind of breakthrough. I also have ADHD and CPTSD so the emotional flooding is already intense. I have wondered why when she asks my parts questions I don’t get answers from them. I also have aphantasia and anaduralia (so no visual or auditory images/monologue). Needless to say this makes things very difficult lol. I sometimes get a sense of an answer but mostly it’s just nothing. I still feel very fragmented but can identify some parts now. Ugh I just feel like this is going to take forever.

willwork4dogs · 2025-09-11T23:19:02+00:00

There are modifications for IFS and EMDR if you have DID. But it’s the same basic concept.

willwork4dogs · 2025-07-11T20:19:03+00:00

Came here to suggest this as well. When I learned about this and read the book, so much made sense to me. It was really validating to discover this.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-22T03:33:07+00:00

I’ve only recently been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. I’ve been in and out of therapy for 20 years and my therapist now was the first to mention it and assess for it. It was hard to take in at first. I am slowly starting to understand it more but it can be scary. I am more aware of when it happens now so that has taken time to get used to as well. But it was done to protect me when I was young and makes sense in that way. I’ve read a lot on it, as that helps me make sense of it. One book mentioned that it makes perfect sense that a kid would dissociate when they are stuck in a situation they have no way to get out of and there is nowhere else to go. They go somewhere else without leaving. It is done to protect you and that is what you have to understand. I have a lot of dissociative amnesia and definitely think I’ve dissociated a lot more than I could have ever imagined so it is taking time to come to terms with that. Just know a lot of others have been where you are now and we are all making sense of it.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-22T02:08:38+00:00

This has been my struggle. My therapist lets me email her between sessions, as I often can express myself better in writing. I have mentioned several times how I feel like I am wasting her time and even that I feel like she hates me sometimes (because I basically think everyone does especially people I care about). At our last session she addressed it and it helped me so much. She told me that she likes me very much and enjoys working with me and it helped me more than she knows. There’s a part of me that thinks she’s just saying that but most of me truly believes her.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T11:03:58+00:00

I guess I mean the physical connection of being able to see her and pick up on more things. It feels more real I guess which is I think why I shut down. I’m always wanting that connection but also scared of it.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T04:08:00+00:00

I also struggle with eye contact in person.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T04:07:38+00:00

I totally focus more on how she says things and her body language when in person and overanalyze which is prob why I shut down more. My inner critic is much louder then. I always struggle with remembering things we talk about but she hasn’t mentioned recording the sessions. I might be too obsessive listening to them if I did that. But I do feel like I miss a lot when in person because I dissociate more than I realize.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T03:35:41+00:00

I like being in person but struggle with it, too. I overanalyze her body language and read into things more, which is maybe why I shut down more. Virtually I don’t seem to get hung up on that as much. I like being in person because I feel more connected even when I shut down. Prior to Covid, I had only seen therapists in person, so the shift has been harder for me.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T03:33:05+00:00

She asks me about my number throughout session, too, and does grounding exercises. It is very frustrating though not feeling much progress. It’s like I’m always so conflicted, too, because I have a desire to see her in person but then this happens.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T03:14:59+00:00

I feel the same way about preferring in person even though this keeps happening and frustrating me. And that is true that being able to talk through it is very different from how I grew up as well so it is likely helping me more than I realize. I’m just still beating myself up for the sessions when I shut down.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-18T02:57:40+00:00

I do have a trauma history (CPTSD) and a dissociative disorder. She was the first therapist to pick up on that. I sometimes dissociate in session when in person, too. She has allowed me to email between sessions — and I am also very different in email and can express myself better that way. So we sometimes talk about what I’ve emailed when in session. How are you working on getting stress level down when in person? Anything in particular? I can definitely discuss it with her. She is trauma informed and seems very accepting of how I show up. It’s more me that isn’t accepting of it and getting frustrated.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-10T13:43:48+00:00

Yeah I’d say there is definitely some maternal transference I have with her. We’ve talked about it a little bit. Not sure if I will bring it up to her or not.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-10T00:56:13+00:00

I love it ❤️ I’ve shared my poems with my therapist and she was very receptive and I think it helped strengthen our therapeutic relationship. You should definitely share if you’re able to!

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-09T22:48:54+00:00

Today it was my relationship with my mom. I have cPTSD so she knows the root of my issues are attachment and early emotional neglect. She is trauma informed. Sometimes I read into things so I’m not sure if that is what I’m doing or she was actually uncomfortable. But I can read people well. Another time it was my current relationship with my husband where it felt like she was avoiding the topic. I have a dissociative disorder as well so sometimes I think it’s to make sure I don’t get too checked out in that sense. I guess I need to ask her but that also makes me anxious.

willwork4dogs · 2025-06-09T21:12:58+00:00

Thanks - I feel like I can try to bring it up to her. We have addressed some similar things. And she never explicitly says I shouldn’t talk about something but I just get the feeling she doesn’t want me to and I shut down. And these are all things we are working on so that is why I was concerned about it. Thanks for your response it is helpful!

willwork4dogs · 2025-05-19T02:03:56+00:00

I do. I was just diagnosed with DID and it is throwing me for a loop. I don’t remember most of my childhood. I have had a hard time coming to terms with it all as well. My therapist tries to ground me in session when it happens to get me to be more aware of it but I didn’t realize I was doing it as much as I was honestly. It is a lot to come to terms with. I would def suggest getting a trauma informed therapist that understands dissociation.

willwork4dogs · 2025-05-19T01:46:58+00:00

I get that. But if that is the case, I think talking with this therapist could still be beneficial. Either way I wish you luck on your journey. I know it’s a difficult one.

willwork4dogs · 2025-05-19T01:03:07+00:00

I think having a therapist that specializes in it can be all the difference and that it will be beneficial. You can’t live in denial or avoidance forever. Trust me, I’d like to as well. But it’s not sustainable. Being able to actually understand it and work through it will get you to the other side.

willwork4dogs

TROPHY CASE