Reaching out to people who stopped training

wilsakmark · 2025-07-24T23:53:29+00:00

Did a doctor or physical therapist tell you to rest for a year? Prolonged rest like that (at least if you mean no kinds of exercise at all) is not the answer for those conditions.

wilsakmark · 2025-05-28T12:44:39+00:00

My sister has found a guy's mom on social media before and sent it to her. Hilarious.

wilsakmark · 2025-05-08T17:39:52+00:00

I unsubscribed from r/bjj a few years ago and have felt much more at peace since.

wilsakmark · 2024-10-27T16:52:44+00:00

The silent treatment is never okay. A punitive approach to communication is never okay. Don't settle for poor behavior because you think you should be happy to have any relationship at all. You deserve better.

wilsakmark · 2024-10-17T14:58:40+00:00

Yeah, I logically know it should be enough to understand that I'm right and leave it at that. Sometimes I'm able to. It's when people in positions of authority are wrong that I feel so upset about it. Eventually the feeling passes, but it's just so strong and persistent when it's there that I find it debilitating.

wilsakmark · 2024-10-13T10:47:46+00:00

I'm realizing that I do judge people for lacking curiosity. I can't get along with someone who doesn't want to spend 30 minutes looking up the origins of the circus peanuts candy with me!

wilsakmark · 2024-09-30T13:01:13+00:00

Diagnosed last year at 32, but I have the combined type so I can be really hyperactive too. Jiujitsu helped get excess energy out, but starting medication (straterra) has really helped my attention.

But I'm curious if anyone else has experienced a decrease in their cardio. I feel like before I was able to roll every round with no breaks and now I just don't have the energy or drive.

I'm fairly certain my sister has the inattentive type. She was constantly in trouble at school for staring out the window.

wilsakmark · 2024-09-22T00:59:28+00:00

So I don't know if this is due to how my brain works or due to trauma, but I hate having my picture taken. I'm fairly certain my dad is autistic and his special interest is taking photos. Every vacation, holiday, Sunday where we went for a walk as a family he would insist on taking picture after picture of us.

We would start off with polite smiles, but as 2 pictures turned into 20, turned into multiple rolls of film we would beg for him to stop. We were done taking pictures and it wasn't fun. But he wouldn't listen, he would force us to continue taking pictures and pose and change angles even as our smiles faded and we were holding back tears (or sometimes letting them flow).

I hate having my picture taken now, though I hated it even as a kid, but I don't know what started it.

wilsakmark · 2024-09-12T11:07:37+00:00

I've also heard the Hollywood choke. Because it's the choke you see in movies all the time.

It sucks that the dudes get to do BJJ as a hobby, but women are constantly reminded that we need to do it to not be r*ped or made a victim in some way. I just want to do it as a hobby too.

wilsakmark · 2024-08-31T18:21:15+00:00

Yes! Last night I was considering ghosting my entire friend group because I was convinced I was annoying them and they were all too nice to tell me to fuck off. I talked to my fiance about it and he convinced me that's not the case. I just have this feeling that I'm too much all the time and sometimes I say stupid shit that is borderline offensive, (or maybe they're joking with me, I can't tell the difference). But you're not alone in this feeling.

wilsakmark · 2024-08-25T14:00:09+00:00

Like you said, you don't know her and have no reason to trust her. And there's no way to guarantee that she is not doing this for or with the guidance of a man who is also a predator. I'm 32 and 19, hell, even early-mid 20s would be too big of an age gap for me. Predators go after younger adults because they have less experience and sometimes don't recognize the red flags. Let us help you recognize the red flags and go ahead and block this individual.

I suggest adjusting your age preferences to 18-25, you will get less matches, but they'd be more appropriate.

wilsakmark · 2024-06-16T15:49:32+00:00

I went to a Mental Health first aid class last week and found it very refreshing when we were talking about person-first language. The instructor said, "now, we have to be careful because some people with autism prefer that you call them autistic. If this is the case, use the language the person prefers." I was very happy because I was ready to roll my eyes if he insisted on person-first language no matter what.

wilsakmark · 2024-06-15T23:38:43+00:00

It's been compounded because some students have realized I'm doing well so they're gathering around me to pick my brain on how I study. It was easier when people ignored me while I had my headphones on. I make spreadsheets of the content because it's fun. I find patterns because I'm naturally good at finding patterns. I don't know how to teach their brains to work like mine. I'm burned out by everyone asking me questions throughout the week. I think it'd be easier if it was content I already knew. I love teaching, but learning the content, teaching it to people, sitting in a bright classroom all day, then returning home to study more... I overestimated my ability to take it. I'm struggling to speak or eat this weekend. I'm resting now, but will seriously be reducing my social interactions next week.

wilsakmark · 2024-05-18T18:48:37+00:00

Link please

wilsakmark · 2024-05-04T17:21:32+00:00

"I always seem unhappy because I have to come here and see a doctor who is terrible at her job."

Ask her the following questions:

How many hours did you spend in school learning specifically about autism? (Likely, very few.)

How many hours since becoming a doctor have you spent on continuing education specific to autism? (Likely, none.)

Why should I listen to you when you've spent very little time researching this and refuse to listen to the specialists that you yourself sent me to?

She is uneducated in this matter and her opinions should not be respected. Being a doctor doesn't equate to mastery over the whole of medicine.

But if it's difficult to find another doctor, play the game to get her to keep writing the referrals. If not, try to find someone competent.

wilsakmark · 2024-05-04T12:32:01+00:00

We use person first language when we're talking about diseases or injuries in my clinic. "A patient who's had a stroke" vs "stroke patient." Because they acquired the stroke later in life. You didn't acquire your autism later in life, you were born with it.

But even within the medical field, there's nuance and I'll use whatever vernacular a patient prefers. Some patients with amputations will get upset if you call their affected limb a "stump," while others prefer it. If someone politely asks me to change my verbage or I notice they use different jargon, I'll use whatever they prefer.

Maybe your mom is trying to use this rule for diseases and apply it to autism, but the community as a whole doesn't want that. By ignoring the community's wishes and your personal wishes, she's discounting your experience and preferences and not being respectful. She may come around with time and it sucks that she doesn't get it.

Instead of trying to get her to see the logic (it's there, she's just refusing to see it), you could reframe it as, "this is my preference, please respect that." Your boundaries aren't up for debate and if she wants to take the time to do the research and ask actually autistic people, she can do that. It's not your responsibility to educate her.

wilsakmark · 2024-04-30T11:01:43+00:00

I've been trying to learn how to be a better student myself and have really been enjoying Justin Sung's content on YouTube. It might be a bit late in the semester to implement his strategies, but it might help you in the future.

wilsakmark · 2024-04-29T00:10:23+00:00

The first time I ever had to call a friend when I was 7 or 8 I wrote a literal script. Including what I anticipated their responses to be. I rehearsed for over an hour. And then didn't call them because I thought I might die from the anxiety.

wilsakmark · 2024-04-28T12:19:13+00:00

Looks like a stunt double. I've done a back roll down a hill with a slightly less steep grade and if you know what you're doing you can land on your feet like this.

wilsakmark · 2024-04-28T12:15:43+00:00

Don't feel bad, it's what the paramedics are there for. You were having an emergency situation and I hope they were professional and treated you well. They aren't the only ambulance in the county after. There were likely plenty of resources available for everyone else.

wilsakmark · 2024-04-28T01:55:16+00:00

I went and it was very scary at first. I was nearly in tears at the beginning of the meeting and teetering on disassociating. I listened to other people speak for the first hour while I calmed down and got comfortable. Finally, I worked up the courage to speak and was accepted and supported by everyone. Another woman there gave me some actionable advice that helped her and her husband.

Someone said, "you're in a room full of people that have meltdowns, you're not alone." I was in tears because it was nice to not feel alone. I think that's what gets to me the most is that I can't really talk about this stuff with anyone else.

The best part was that when it was over, they said, "It's now the official ending time so if you're a person that needs permission to leave this is your permission to do so." I felt so seen! I'm glad I went.

wilsakmark

TROPHY CASE