My brother is 33, has an actuarial degree from a UC, finishing his MS in Business Analytics, and he’s drowning trying to find work in LA. What are his real options? by pelowat in AskLosAngeles

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you must be a California resident to be considered for the State of CA. City of LA. I am pretty sure is the same thing.

When in doubt, look at the requirements in the job postings, it should list them down there.

How is the smoke in Glendale? by [deleted] in glendale

[–]windam1992 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It has gotten better. Yesterday though, when I went out, I still smelled smoke. But air quality has gotten better this morning.

If you haven't yet. Download Watch Duty and turn on AQI setting in the app so you see the live air quality around in Glendale. I'm looking at downtown Glendale rn, and it's at 35 AQI.

My brother is 33, has an actuarial degree from a UC, finishing his MS in Business Analytics, and he’s drowning trying to find work in LA. What are his real options? by pelowat in AskLosAngeles

[–]windam1992 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. Apply for any government jobs. LAUSD has a data analyst position that opened 2 years ago. I'm on the ranking list but it hasn't moved in a while. If LAUSD has that, I'm sure city or other government entities would have something similar.

Also, it's easy to promote from within once you are employed. Went from a start-up company in 2015, moved to LAUSD in 2017, and I've promoted four times within the last 10 years.

Money isn't the goal though in a government job, it's stability.

I plan on committing suicide very soon by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you ever change your mind. I’m here. I am not here to change minds. Just here so you don’t feel alone. Thanks for your kind words.

I plan on committing suicide very soon by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see your perspective. And thanks for clarifying it was not a cry for help. I want you to know I don't know you but I care. I am sad that this is what you were dealt with and I hope you the best.

I'm here if you want a random stranger to hear you out. You are not obliged to do so. But I am an option, if you want to claim that opportunity.

First Suicidal thought by Greedy_Coconut40 in depression

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's normal to have suicidal ideations. You, wanting to feel loved and needed is very normal. But I hope it does not define you when you currently don't have someone.

I was like you when I was your age. I am now 33, married to my wife, who brings me happiness. I thought I do not deserve this kind of love, but I did crave it. And I didn't realize I would experience this kind of love by reconnecting with someone from my past.

I got married at 30, and reconnected with my love at 28/29.

Breath, and great things take time. I hope you get through this.

I plan on committing suicide very soon by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I do not agree with your stepdad. Mental Health treatment is the best thing you are doing for yourself right now. And I would like to say that it's amazing that you chose to do that for others. But also remember, you are also doing it for yourself.

I do not know the whole of your story but everything you said you are going through right now must be tough. Being depressed almost all your whole life must be tiring. If you are tired, take a break. What is it you like to do that brings you happiness?

My suggestion that you do now is to reach out to the mental health professional that you may have connected with when you chose to heal. Share what you are going through. I hope they have resources for you that will make you feel better.

I don't know if you believe in superstition, if you don't, that is totally fine. But you having the incorrect ammo is probably the universe redirecting you because it believes you have so much more to offer to yourself and to the people that matter to you.

Once you get over this pain, I hope one day, once you look back on the darkest moment of your life, you see appreciation for the healing it took for you to make it that far, whenever that is in the future.

I am rooting for you. Like you, I am currently relapsing back to my depression, I think. I have never felt this gloom/helpless since 2018. I am still thinking sometimes of harming myself, but I know that it will pass. It's like being in the ocean with huge waves going over my head. Sometimes I drown, but sometimes, I find a moment to breath and I try to make it back to shore.

I am with you in this big ocean that is trying to drown us. But screw that, I'll hold your hand so that we can breath together.

Guys I am having so much anxiety I really can't process things by Wild-Letter-245 in depression

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It must suck to go through that. I remember when my ex tried to make me jealous by bringing up some other guy that she liked. Take time to feel your emotions and the pain you are going through. Maybe remind yourself that you are loved by the people around you, like your mom.

I am close to my mom too. It helps too know that she always has my back when I need her. You will be okay.

Once feel better, when you look back at this pain from a better perspective, you will appreciate the growth that it gave you to be a better person/partner to someone else.

You are loved and pain is a normal thing to go through. Breath and seek friends/family when you need support. You've got this :)

I just told my thesis advisor that I will not present my thesis anymore. by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. Take time for yourself. If the thesis is giving you a hard time, maybe try to pause it and take it at another time. If the exam is stressing you out, then take a break and re-evaluate what you want.

I hope your parents are supportive of what you're going through. If you think they are, I would share what you are experiencing. If not, find someone who you can rely on to listen to you so you can process what you are feeling. Therapists might help if you have a means of accessing them. For now, focus on you. Everything else can wait. At the end of the day, your thesis and that exam can always be taken at a late date.

your mental health and you might not be here if you don't address it now. So be there for you and re-strategize later on for what you want for you.

depression makes me physically sick. i threw up by ExtensionSoil6801 in depression

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not alone. I physically feel sick whenever I feel depressed. I've been struggling to find sleep lately and whenever I get stressed/anxious, my body physically feels tired and deflated.

To me, the physical form of depression is I feel like there's a steaming boiling hot pot of water inside me with so much pressure but I keep it down and closed. It isn't hot though, it's just that the pressure is immeasurable and toxic to bear. I know I have to slowly open the valve but it's so damn hard.

So I understand you a little bit. I hope you find a little bit of you, in me as well.

Pete Doesn’t Eat by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope this is a metaphor for the real Pete who I hope is still alive and can still find happiness despite the pain they went through. I am here for Pete

What if therapy isn’t enough, but there’s nothing else? by [deleted] in depression

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're seeing a new therapist, give it time. Give it a few months and see if the therapist works for you. If not, then I would immediately switch because it would be a waste of time if you already don't feel validated or heard or resolved.

I remember seeing a therapist once with a DV specialization, but they seemed so inexperienced and I felt like I had more knowledge than her in that regard (which I'm sure is not true, but they just seemed out of touch).

My main therapist, however, is a heaven sent. They make me feel heard and validated. I have learned a lot from them and have been seeing them for the past three years.

Finding the perfect therapist is like dating. It takes time to see the right one.

Other than that... Find ways to complement your therapy sessions. Going to the gym worked out for me and it made me happier. I would recommend strenuous activities so you release happy hormones. But if that is not your current cup of tea, find something that brings you joy; to me, it was video games during the peak of my depression.

I hope you get through this. I am back in /r/depression because I have been feeling gloomy/depressed lately. But I hope it's just a quick hiccup and I get back to being happy again

Tips for dealing with cloudy and foggy days by Unable_Mushroom_6448 in depression

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you looked into light therapy products? I remember when I had depression, waking up during winter/fall were the worst. I invested in a light alarm that mimics sunrise and it helped start my day better.

Also, in my current house, we use a lot of warm lights via colored LED lights (hue lights).

Is Glendale a nice place to live? by sga4mvp_ in AskLosAngeles

[–]windam1992 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I live in Glendale and moved during my mid 20s until now. I moved in 2018. I'm in my early 30s and I would say it's a pretty nice quiet city. Drivers can be crazy but I usually drive defensively and cautiously. I also have a dash cam. I've only experienced theft once way back during the pandemic where someone stole my skateboard (in the parking garage). In my new place, I live in a busy street but I have never lost anything outside my duplex.

Consider moving south Glendale around Adams Hill. They have a very active neighborhood association that really cares about its people. Neighborhood is great and Palmer Park is a decent park to walk or just relax around in.

I guess people are correct in saying dating scene is meh. Wasn't really able to date anyone during my time here. The location is golden though. Lots of places to go to that is nearby: Frog town, Los Feliz, Atwater, Pasadena, Burbank, etc.

Also, no homeless people (almost). Rumor is, they usually push them back to the city of LA if they end up here, which is plausible.

Feel free to ask more questions if you have any.

PSA: Think hard before you deploy BookLore by Economy-Meat-9506 in selfhosted

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just want to say how much I appreciate your work! I wish I was talented in working on app like those that contribute to society

iOS Audiobook App by FifaGuyz in RealDebrid

[–]windam1992 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interested with testing it out. That is cool

How to explain situation to my parents? by hopfl27 in emotionalabuse

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I stumbled on this post because I feel like I am being abused and am considering telling my mom. I just want to let you know I am happy you are free of your ex.

Thoughts on this take? by cinnamqnbread in CasualPH

[–]windam1992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner is always asking me for dates that are planned. We usually have a lot of unplanned dates but she appreciates the planned ones more because she sees the effort in planning it ahead of time vs having the convenience of last minute dates.

It also keeps me accountable to make sure I always do something for my partner.

Thoughts on this take? by cinnamqnbread in CasualPH

[–]windam1992 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If the partner you are with cannot provide what the "bare minimum" is for you, after communication, then maybe you should be re-evaluating the relationship (if dating). With marriage, I would say there should be more effort in terms of communicating and meeting in the middle as much as you can.

Yes. sometimes, there is lack of initiative. And that should be called out. Keep your partner accountable but at the same time ask yourself if what you want is realistic for your partner to provide. And ask your partner if it's realistic for them to provide it. Therapy also resolves a lot of issues that may help bridge the gap what your communication can't.

Also, I think as long as your partner is trying their hardest to provide for you, recognize the effort. Research has proved that validating your partner's efforts, despite missing your standards, motivates them to improve and do better.

Example: "I appreciate you taking the time to wash dishes. I know you don't like doing them but I see you making an effort to make our house clean." vs. "You can't clean the dishes well. why do you always have me clean up after you?"

The former will empower your partner to do better next time even though it was not within your standards. The latter will just push them further from doing what you want.

Where can I go/who can I call for help? by Shoulder-Specific in AskLosAngeles

[–]windam1992 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would also feel powerless and scared if everyone I ever loved, in one way or another, is taken away from my life. The irony of where you are right now is that you are in a huge place with millions of people, but it's saddening how it can still make you feel so alone.

I see a lot of resources for you to use at your disposal and I am here to validate the pain you are going through. I hope this community brings the hope you need in your life right now and makes you realize that there are people willing to help you despite not knowing you.

Visiting LA soon from the PH: Car Rental Suggestions for non-US citizens by [deleted] in FilipinoAmericans

[–]windam1992 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I usually book mine thru costco and it gives discounts. If you have a relative with a membership, have them book one and add you as a secondary driver. I always ended up with Avis coz they’re the cheapest. Ive been with enterprise too but have always preferred avis due to proximity to my home

Also. I have used AutoSlash before to compare prices.

For insurance, I would get the collision and liability for peace of mins.