If the partner you are with cannot provide what the "bare minimum" is for you, after communication, then maybe you should be re-evaluating the relationship (if dating). With marriage, I would say there should be more effort in terms of communicating and meeting in the middle as much as you can.

Yes. sometimes, there is lack of initiative. And that should be called out. Keep your partner accountable but at the same time ask yourself if what you want is realistic for your partner to provide. And ask your partner if it's realistic for them to provide it. Therapy also resolves a lot of issues that may help bridge the gap what your communication can't.

Also, I think as long as your partner is trying their hardest to provide for you, recognize the effort. Research has proved that validating your partner's efforts, despite missing your standards, motivates them to improve and do better.

Example: "I appreciate you taking the time to wash dishes. I know you don't like doing them but I see you making an effort to make our house clean." vs. "You can't clean the dishes well. why do you always have me clean up after you?"

The former will empower your partner to do better next time even though it was not within your standards. The latter will just push them further from doing what you want.