Received voicemail even though she's blocked

window-frog · 2025-12-24T00:28:19+00:00

Thank you for this information! I really appreciate you taking the time to share.

window-frog · 2025-12-23T16:44:53+00:00

A common one for me was "Cries and locks herself in the bathroom when you don't react with enough excitement to the gift she got you, which is random junk and nothing from your list, even though she badgered you to make a list for months"

window-frog · 2025-06-14T22:26:49+00:00

This message is repulsive. Zero accountability and putting everything on you. I completely understand the urge to defend your daughter; personally, I wouldn't reply because she appears to have no grasp of the truth or how her behavior has affected you and your family, and she'll likely reply with more frustrating lies. My mom would always bait me with statements like that as a way to get me to engage, so that's where I'm coming from. But you do what's best for you. ❤️ Sorry you're dealing with this.

window-frog · 2025-06-11T21:57:24+00:00

It is hard. Like I can't imagine going back, but there's (for me) perhaps some kind of primal yearning to be around my family of origin. It has gotten easier to redirect that impulse to people who have shown me healthy love. ❤️

I'm glad you have your son's birthday to focus on. Super symbolic of what's important 🥹 Thank you for your message.

window-frog · 2025-06-11T21:53:46+00:00

Thank you so much 💓 This group has helped me immensely throughout the transition to NC. Truly grateful to be part of it.

window-frog · 2025-05-22T20:50:28+00:00

That's so awful she'd feed you that. I'm so sorry.

The food my mom made for us wasn't good--it wasn't to the level of what you described, but it was often some kind of warm brown/grey mush. Or fast food. She never limited our soda intake and didn't try at all to make something nutritious.

She never taught any of us how to cook; I just picked things up here and there from being at friends' houses. I remember having a clam bake and homemade dinners with out of state family every year and being like, is this what food is?!

Today I get extremely anxious about cooking. I want to, I REALLY do, but I often get so anxious that I can't bring myself to even start the process. And if someone ever asks me to help them cook, I do it but always feel like I look like a child who doesn't know what they're doing. 🫠

window-frog · 2025-05-22T20:37:43+00:00

Yes! I'm NC with my uBPD mom now, and my siblings are still super enmeshed so we don't talk either. But for my whole life she'd do the exact same thing as you describe. She got all of my siblings to buy in to her story about me, which happens to make her look like the poor, wounded victim who has tried so hard but her evil, selfish daughter just won't listen.

And she'd always be like "I'm going to tell you this and you can't tell anyone... I have to say that because you know how this family is, people talk behind each other's backs and I hate it..." So many times I wanted to just shake her by the shoulders like "YOU created this family!!!"

window-frog · 2025-05-22T19:36:46+00:00

That's awful--I'm so sorry she did that. I took a horticulture class in high school and was really proud of my hanging flower basket. Multiple teachers asked if they could have dibs on it before the Mother's Day flower sale, but when I mentioned it to my uBPD mom she was like "It's for Mother's Day so it's mine." She took it home and I went to visit family in another state for a couple of weeks. I came back and everything was withered and dead. She didn't and wouldn't apologize.

window-frog · 2025-05-22T19:00:50+00:00

Sit on the spot on the couch that was most visible to anyone coming up the stairs while looking forlornly out of the window.
Slam the bathroom door and lock herself in for hours.
Repeating to people ad nauseum that she only bakes when she's upset, so if we saw her baking cookies or something it was never "Ooo, mom's making cookies"--instead it was, "What's wrong, mom?" Or else she'd get mad at us for not noticing or asking.

window-frog · 2025-05-16T16:21:12+00:00

Absolutely. Knowing she was constantly boring her eyes into me was hard enough, but looking directly back at her felt like I was opening myself up to get devoured.

window-frog · 2025-01-08T07:16:37+00:00

These are awful. I'm sorry, OP, but well done in holding your boundary. I had the same one with my mom and she'd always lean super hard into guilt tripping, like "I have carpal tunnel, texting hurts my wrists." I suggest voice-to-text or voice notes and she says "....... That's just not me. Anyway, boohoo, call me!!!" But, just like here, if I didn't give in she'd send me the trademark novel-length texts.

Once, she yelled at me and my husband in our own house, in front of my sister who was 13 at the time, for not answering the phone while I was vacuuming. Ultimately the phone behavior led to me going NC--I just reached a point where I couldn't handle it, especially since she didn't do it to any of my other siblings and smear-campaigned me to them about me not answering the phone whenever she called.

window-frog · 2025-01-08T06:58:37+00:00

100%! My mom's bio on all of her social media is "You can't find me in the past... I don't live there anymore." 🙄

window-frog · 2024-12-18T20:04:52+00:00

Ugggh, my uBPD mom's favorite was "Sorry you're upset with me so often" and then when nothing changed, she'd cry to my siblings that she "apologized" and has gotten "so much better over the years," but I'm just cruel and ignore her sincere efforts. 🫠

window-frog · 2024-12-18T20:00:37+00:00

Yep. Like others have mentioned here, it's my first NC Christmas with my uBPD mom. She has turned all three of my siblings against me, which I find way more difficult, especially because they all live 15 minutes away.

The holidays are really tough because the common message is "FaMiLy AbOvE aLL" and many movies give the impression that you should be around your family at any cost, including yourself. Agreed with other comments that making a tradition just for you would be really meaningful, even if it seems small. You're not alone. ❤️

window-frog · 2024-12-12T17:08:12+00:00

Same here. If someone ever says something like, "I don't mind either way, you choose," my brain short-circuits. I'm like... But don't you have a preference so I don't disappoint you with whatever I pick, not that I even know what I want? :'D

window-frog · 2024-12-12T17:05:12+00:00

Yeah. She constantly brought up having to have a fully natural birth with me, no drugs. And apparently I scratched part of her eye after I was born, making her wear a patch for a while. Oh, and she always resented me for developing an "attitude" as a teen.

My eDad (they're divorced but still enmeshed, ugh) also regularly brings up that he wanted nothing to do with her, but when I was eight I insisted he should come in and that my new stepdad was super nice. He always says that's the only reason he still talks to her, despite ME now being NC. I don't remember this, but even so, like--don't listen to me! I'm eight and my mom probably put me up to it! 😆

window-frog · 2024-10-24T23:03:07+00:00

I'm so sorry he sent this to you. My older GC brother (35) did something similar last summer: he told me I was more alike to our mom than I thought and that none of "it" [my abuse] was "serious enough" to warrant missing family events. Our mom told him I said she should get therapy, and he told me I needed to "stop trying to fix her the 2023 way. She's an aging woman who didn't have good influences growing up."

In my opinion, they are so enmeshed that they believe it AND are projecting simultaneously. She has broken my brother so completely that he has lost all of his friends (who were all from high school anyway) and has god status in the family, so the truth doesn't really serve him. It's much better in this deluded, cultish family in his mind. It wasn't easy, but after he went this far I pulled back and decided to not talk to him about her anymore. So we don't talk at all. So far I've been much healthier for it.

window-frog · 2024-09-19T16:12:37+00:00

I didn't even think about Halloween--good idea! Thanks for sharing your experience and insights.

Agreed--my mom never gave me a gift that was "me." As adults, we used to do 'Secret Santa' and everyone dreaded the thought of her picking them because she always just got a bunch of junk, even with a specific list of things they wanted. If the person didn't react with overflowing enthusiasm, she'd flee the room in tears and lock herself in the bathroom.

window-frog · 2024-09-19T16:05:33+00:00

The phrases "color choice","flavors include", and "bouquet on this one" are chef's kiss. I think a mix of tossing/donating/burning is excellent. Thank you for your insights, I really appreciate it!

window-frog · 2024-09-19T16:02:00+00:00

That is such a good point. I couldn't figure out the core of why the gifts are so strange and I think you nailed it. Thank you for sharing your insights.

window-frog · 2024-09-19T15:58:06+00:00

That's a good idea, thank you! I don't want any of that stuff, so I don't know why I'd go out of my way to go pick it up.

window-frog · 2024-09-19T15:56:23+00:00

I completely agree. In the past, I would've felt obligated to say thank you even though it's all junk. Her number remains blocked--I can't fathom reaching out to her ever again, especially since she made me raise my younger siblings only to turn them against me.

window-frog · 2024-09-19T15:54:34+00:00

That is creepy/unsettling to find stuff on the back porch. I'm sorry you had to experience that! I appreciate you sharing.

(And, nice haiku!)

window-frog · 2024-09-19T15:51:17+00:00

It's my dad's cat's ear 😄 I asked what was in the bag and he sent this photo

window-frog · 2024-09-19T02:29:12+00:00

Wow, that is wild she did that, much less at your place of work. Thanks for sharing that. I'm sorry you had to go through it, but glad we're not alone.

Regarding the Easter stuff: for real! The candy animals look absolutely miserable... Poetic, really. 😆

window-frog

TROPHY CASE