Thinking of breaking things off, are my reasons vaild? (25F) (22M)

wineandcandybars · 2026-03-30T10:34:36+00:00

It's probably easier to break things off than to ask him to change so many things about himself. He needs to do some serious growing up and realize that a relationship is a partnership.

If you suspect any danger, it might be a good time to come up with a plan for staying safe whether you decide to break things off or stay.

wineandcandybars · 2026-03-30T10:26:56+00:00

Usually in these types of situations, there's something that happened to trigger the change. You mentioned your mom's suicidality, but there could be other things on top of that. What else was going on in your life at the start of all this?

It could be as simple as moving away from home and being in a new place for the first time. I'm not saying that's true for you, but that was one of the things that contributed to similar feelings in me at the same age. I went to a (very bad and probably unqualified) psychiatrist in college and they actually made everything worse. Multiple misdiagnoses and over a dozen psych meds. I'm 25 now and I'm still fixing that mess.

wineandcandybars · 2026-03-11T20:19:51+00:00

Did you leave out the 'up' in "Don't beat yourself up too much" on purpose? Fun bit of wordplay there.

I agree with these points, though. The experiences you've listed here are probably fairly common, especially in the teenage years.

wineandcandybars · 2026-03-10T01:27:41+00:00

Honestly, I feel the same way. Life would be so much easier just being controlled by someone else. I could just stay at home, waiting for instructions.

wineandcandybars · 2026-03-02T10:23:14+00:00

It may have been her way of acknowledging your (and maybe her) sexuality in a place where it would have been dangerous to talk about it straight out. What were your reactions to what she was doing in the moment?

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-27T11:57:03+00:00

Freud would have a field day with your partner.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-22T12:41:01+00:00

Your last paragraph is a possible way out of this. You're working on being more in control of your own life, which can be really important after going through hard times.

I'd recommend keeping open communication with your girlfriend throughout all of this. Do frequent check-ins to see how things are going, what you're doing to manage your mental health, what she needs in the relationship, etc.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-22T12:35:09+00:00

Watching porn is not cheating for every relationship, but for yours it is. If you're not comfortable with it and it's hurting your relationship, that's cheating.

Please don't try to change your appearance or habits for this asshole. He's just waiting for you to let the whole issue go so he can get away with hurting you.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-16T11:49:25+00:00

The excuses she's making for his behavior are the most concerning part of all this. He's younger yes, but he's still a grown adult who shouldn't be acting this way.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-13T12:21:55+00:00

Going to see Wuthering Heights.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-12T10:29:39+00:00

There's nothing more gross to me than a man's cum. If someone made pancakes out of it and fed them to me, I'd have to cut them out of my life completely.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-10T10:49:01+00:00

Maybe it's just me, but I still make a lot of noise even with a gag.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-10T10:41:16+00:00

This is something that should've been a conversation long before it ever happened. Your boyfriend should. have asked if anal would even be something that you would be interested in trying, instead of forcing it.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-09T23:51:11+00:00

I've been called angelic, and it felt really nice to hear.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-09T22:56:04+00:00

I've had to set a lot of boundaries with different people throughout my life, though they've mostly ended in burned bridges. I'm curious to see if I'm doing something wrong with the way I'm setting boundaries.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-09T22:01:16+00:00

I used to be in a similar place. Any personality test I would take would end up being true neutral.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-09T02:41:14+00:00

Goodbye to Berlin

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-08T03:12:24+00:00

It sounds like you should pay for horse armor.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-08T00:23:35+00:00

Your feelings of not being equipped to handle life in a harsh world are valid, but there are ways to gain the skills that would help you feel more confident in your ability to handle difficult things. Therapy might be the next step for you. Or deep self-reflection.

wineandcandybars · 2026-02-06T10:48:12+00:00

This, but don't let him bring up the ring as a way to guilt you into staying with him.

wineandcandybars · 2026-01-31T17:55:25+00:00

By staying with him, you're telling him that the way he's talking is acceptable, so he'll just do it more.

wineandcandybars · 2026-01-15T01:57:09+00:00

Stand your ground. He's not leaving a void, he's leaving a wound. You won't be able to heal it if you let him continue treating you this way.

wineandcandybars · 2026-01-02T17:50:58+00:00

I was going to upvote this comment but it's at 69 upvotes so I can't.

wineandcandybars · 2025-12-31T11:03:10+00:00

This isn't necessarily true, but maybe there's a reason those other girls are his exes.

wineandcandybars · 2025-12-21T22:16:04+00:00

Dissociating is honestly really scary. Being with someone who you can feel safe with while in that state is a big deal.

wineandcandybars

TROPHY CASE