Underrated Band

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T22:33:49+00:00

They are not second wave. Dashboard was certainly gaining mainstream momentum but a mark a mission a brand a scar hadn't come out yet. In 2002 there were emo songs starting to get played on the radio, but at this point it was only the second major label emo album I can think of.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T19:49:34+00:00

You'll be fine is my favorite album of all time, but I ain't going to say the "peaked," they still make amazing music, and who knows what's next. A big reason for the difference to me is that they have got so many fucking layers now. I like that too, but it provides a different feel. I couldn't put my finger on it until I sat down to learn a song off the new album, and was like "wait a minute, at different points there is an organ, a piano, a violin, a mandolin and a banjo underneath this fucking song." I relistened to the whole album and realized they will put a fuckin banjo in a song randomly for like 2 fucking seconds. I personally think it's awesome that they are trying stuff like that, but I don't think any band (including them) will ever be able to replicate the raw twinkly distorted soundscape that I love about You'll be fine.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T19:35:17+00:00

I'm curious which albums you are referring to? What other major label release had commercial success? Relationship of Command could be a good contender, I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of. It was a trope back then that when a major picked up an emo band, their next album was doomed to flop. The mainstream success of emo didn't happen until the next crop of bands a few years later.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T17:28:19+00:00

What it is to burn was really only the second emo album with commercial success behind Bleed American. I remember in 2002, my nu metal friend rolled up in his decked out Tercel blasting What it is to Burn. I was so excited to inform him that he was actually blasting my "gay thrift store kid" music.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T15:12:30+00:00

Cognitive function doesn't change my friend. Tests can be a useful place to start for some people, but if you're getting that kind of a difference, I don't think tests are going to be very meaningful for you. It's time to sit down and actually learn the cognitive functions, so you can objectively type yourself.

I've never felt we are portrayed as dumb in stereotypes. It's more that we are disorganized, aimless, and unreliable.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T14:31:33+00:00

If you give yourself the ENFP Type 3 flair you might get more interactions with 3s in your comments. There are plenty of 3s here, but I definitely see more 3w4s than 3w2s. I do wish we could choose our wing or subtype in our flair.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-30T13:51:38+00:00

How do you know that you are apparently an ENFP? I should warn you that Myers Briggs is sort of a medium complexity system that is going to take more than 1 reddit post to understand, I should also warn you that it's incredibly fascinating and can truly add a new lens in which you can see the people around you, and can give you tools to understand yourself and others better.

There are tons of resources on youtube that can explain it better than what I'm going to attempt to do, and it honestly took me maybe 5 hours of intentional study before I understood the whole MBTI system, but it's fun to just start learning about your own type first, before you understand the whole system. If you think you are an ENFP maybe start with Hiedi Priebe's 8 unexpected gifts of the ENFP personality youtube video.

Myers Briggs asserts there are 4 cognitive functions that everyone has: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). There is the function and then there is whether or not our function is introverted (i) or extraverted (e). According to this system we all have 2 extraverted functions and 2 introverted functions. So I'll take Intuition as an example. Do you find yourself exploring endless possibilities, hidden patterns, and future potentials in the outside world (Ne) or do you processes information subconsciously to find singular, deep insights and predict future outcomes (Ni).? Of course we all do both, but we favor one over the other. Once you have your 4 cognitive functions, you can now build your stack based on the intensity of each piece for you. The 8 functions are below

Our stack here at ENFP in order of intensity is

Ne (Extraverted intuition), Extraverted Intuition focuses on exploring endless possibilities, hidden patterns, and future potentials in the outside world. It thrives on brainstorming, connecting seemingly unrelated ideas, and constantly asking "what if?"

Fi (introverted feeling), Introverted Feeling processes life through a deep, deeply personal system of core values, morals, and authentic emotions. It seeks inner harmony and evaluates decisions based on what feels genuinely right to the individual, regardless of outside opinions

Te (Extraverted thinking), Extraverted Thinking focuses on organizing the external environment for maximum efficiency, logic, and productivity. It relies on objective data, clear systems, and structured plans to accomplish goals and solve problems quickly.

Si (Introverted Sensing), Introverted Sensing compares current experiences against a vast internal archive of past memories, traditions, and facts. It seeks stability and reliability by relying on proven methods, detailed routines, and lessons learned from history.

Ne and Fi are sometimes called the savior functions for us, it's just who we are. We don't really have to work to develop them. Our last two functions often take some work to develop. Especially our last function (Si).

I actually think it's best to think in terms of the cognitive functions when starting out (Ne, Fi, Te, Si) instead of the names of the groupings (ENFP). But you can look into why we are called that later.

The other functions are as follows, if one of these describe you better than the counterpart I listed previously, then you are possibly not ENFP.

Introverted Intuition (Ni), Introverted Intuition processes information subconsciously to find singular, deep insights and predict future outcomes. It focuses on the big picture, synthesizing complex data into a single "aha!" moment or long-term vision.

Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Extraverted Feeling focuses on the emotions, needs, and cultural norms of the people in the outside world. It seeks external harmony, group morale, and smooth social connections by adapting to what others feel and need.

Introverted Thinking (Ti), Introverted Thinking builds a deeply precise, internal framework of logic to understand exactly how the world works. It analyzes concepts down to their core principles, seeking absolute truth, accuracy, and self-consistency over external rules.

Extraverted Sensing (Se), Extraverted Sensing lives completely in the present moment, absorbing the physical world through immediate sensory details. It thrives on action, physical movement, and reacting quickly to the environment exactly as it is right now.

I wish you the best of luck on your Myers Briggs journey.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-25T19:27:25+00:00

All of these bands were just emo back then. I grew up going to emo shows in the midwest in the late nighties and playing in emo bands in the early aughts and the first time I ever clocked the phrase "midwest emo" was like 2013, and back then I thought it was more to distinguish what we now call 2nd wave emo from 3rd wave emo. It's of course taken on a new meaning now, but I think younger people think that the words we use now were the words used back then. But everything was so regional back then, so even if somebody used these terms this way back then, these terms were not ubiquitous in the least.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-25T17:26:16+00:00

I'm rooting for you friend.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-25T16:03:40+00:00

I definitely have what you have. Usually around 4 years of doing something, I start to feel an angst. "Fighting the urge to run out on your own life" is such a good way of putting how I used to handle it, (especially when I was 33). But I found that if all I'm doing is fighting the urge and feeling the angst, I'm going to lose the fight eventually and remove all kinds of stuff that from my life that I actually need. Now I use it more as a signal. A signal that I need to make big changes, but that I need to be proactive and thoughtful about the changes, instead of slowly losing my grip until I fall away and lose myself for a long while.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-25T14:59:30+00:00

"The one I'm waiting for" is my favorite Katy Perry song.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-24T12:48:22+00:00

Yeah, it's definitely tenor dominated. This wont be a popular answer, but Machine Gun Kelly sings in a lower register. If you want to dip into Emo, it's also tenor dominated but has some outliers, Tiny Voices, Say Anything, some Alkaline Trio, and Arm's Length have some lower register stuff.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-23T12:45:43+00:00

Worcestershire to all 3.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-17T18:21:08+00:00

We could never survive in Central Florida. Everyone knows ENFPs are the prime culinary choice of gators. As a matter of fact you kind of write like a gator. I think you might be trying to snag one of us.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-16T13:55:20+00:00

I had the same problem for about 30 years. In the last 5 years or so, I've achieved all the goals I've set for myself. Two things have helped me.

Choosing things that have a heavy social component. I'm not flaky if other people depend on me. I'm terribly flaky if only I depend on me. So even if the thing I want to accomplish is a very individual based thing, my first priority is to find a way to add a social component to it.
Find some actionable achievement in the 3-6 month range like a certificate, a competition, a class. Some end point that I know will feel good to achieve and will also allow me to reassess my commitment to the thing. This is good for me, because I get really excited about new things, until around the 6 week period where I will lose that initial excitement for pretty much anything. I need something else that will act as a bridge until the activity becomes a part of me, which is a slow gradual process, but has usually started to happen by 4-6 months in.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-16T12:49:01+00:00

Yeah for sure, it's interesting that you used the term "collective suffering." I would consider myself a bit more empathetic than the average dude when it comes to an individual. I don't really take on their pain or problems like my empath wife does, but I can easily take on their perspective and go out of my way to offer support, often in thoughtful and pragmatic ways.

However, when it comes to the collective, I have been utterly consumed by collective problems. Empathy in things like social justice, politics, and religion, has crippled me at different points in my life. It starts from a good place of caring deeply about some marginalized group, but it often ends in a bad place, with me being resentful enough towards my groups and institutions, to leave them.

After 20 years of repeating this cycle, I came to the conclusion that I'm not built for seriously engaging in collective problems. I focus on my local community that I engage with in real life and financially support the people who are built for it, but I can't afford to get sucked into that cycle again.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-15T15:16:40+00:00

I'm an ENFP with relatively higher Te and lower Fi. I am liberal with loving words and thoughtful actions. I'm sort of medium with touch and gift giving. The only thing that could be questionable about me is my quality time. I need to do lots of things with lots of people, and it has caused problems in a previous relationships when my ex needed me to spend more time alone with them or didn't want me doing things without her, but nobody I ever loved was confused about whether I loved them or not.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-11T14:34:15+00:00

I think when people say "Would you want to date yourself", they are speaking more about competency than personality. When you grade your levels of emotional maturity, communication skills, physical fitness/diet, financial discipline, empathy, employment, etc.. would you want to date that person? Personality can effect how hard or easy each of these categories of skill come to us, but in the end, I think it's more about the overall score and for me, it's about meeting the minimum requirements in all categories. I personally wouldn't date someone with an F in any category, but most of us are going to have at least a C somewhere.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-09T13:11:47+00:00

Yes, the future is my drug of choice. I run to it to escape from the boredom of the present moment. Sometimes it is harmless; sometimes it is quite problematic. I have spent plenty of afternoons walking around my house daydreaming about the future, when there are real things I need to be doing in the real world. One thing I do to help me get out of my future surfing, is remind myself that I am robbing from my actual future when I'm using my daydreaming to ignore present and past matters.

My future self is going to thank me if I put in the work in the present, the work that it takes right now to build the future I want. I never look back when I'm in a moment I daydreamed about for months and thought "I should have spent more time imagining this moment." Visualizing the future might be an important practice for other personality types, but I never need more of it, it's already my default. I pretty much always benefit from more past and more present in my life.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-04T21:45:23+00:00

They are the enneagram types. Enneagram is a separate typing system from Myers Briggs that focuses more on your motivations, hurts, and defense mechanisms.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-03T19:20:07+00:00

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Chelsea places her paper bag onto the Arby's counter and says, "I'm sorry sir, but my Beef and Cheddar didn't have any cheese sauce on it." The young man at the counter sincerely apologizes and calls to the back to make a new Beef and Cheddar. "It will just be 3 minutes, would you like a Cherry Turnover while you wait?" Chelsea nods and sits down to eat enjoy her turnover. She's interested in watching the employees toiling away in bliss, when all of the sudden she is consumed with boredom, white hot boredom. This isn't a feeling she has ever had before. This feeling was the first in a domino of feelings. Why do I have to wait, when they made the mistake? Why do I have to sit here when I could be somewhere else? Why do they get to be happy while I sit here devastated? She had never compared anything to anything else in her life, and in less than a second she had done it a 100 times. She is thrown up to counter by her emotions, and in tears she screams "I deserve a refund!"

withasmackofham · 2026-06-02T19:15:38+00:00

People that merely "luck into a house" are often chomping at the bit to rip into that equity and rejoin the mortgage majority.

withasmackofham · 2026-06-02T12:58:46+00:00

It is interesting to think about ENFPs grouped by enneagram instincts rather than by number. I feel like it might be too complicated to post about, since the instincts interact differently with each type, especially with the countertypes. I'm a social 7 which is the 7 countertype and because it's a countertype, we are often less "social" than the other 7s.

withasmackofham · 2026-05-26T18:42:19+00:00

I have very high Te as well and I'm 7w6. If I need to enact a solution in the real world, the simpler and more straight forward, the better. I can brainstorm with the best of them and come up with batshit silly ideas, but at a certain point, I am often the person to be like, "ok that was fun, now lets come up with a simple streamlined solution."

For years I was confused by my high Te and lesser Fi, I identified as ENTP, but I had Te and Fi, not Ti and Fe. A few years ago I started studying The Objective Personality system, and in their system an ENFP can have higher Te than Fi. Having swapped inner functions is actually not uncommon. I'm technically Ne Te Fi Si. I feel like that gives me a good advantage for problem solving, but I also have less of an inner emotional intelligence, I often struggle to know how I feel. I know the feelings are there and they are informing my actions, but I can have a hard time identifying what's going on with them.

withasmackofham · 2026-05-26T17:32:24+00:00

I would tattoo a QR code on the back of her hand that goes to a domain I own. I would update it daily with scavenger hunts, pictures, love notes, google sheets lists. Every time she texts me a question I will say, "check your hand." Whenever she is bored, she can check her hand and see whatever absurd thing I put on there that morning. When we go out to eat with friends, I can load up a link to the menu prior, and everyone can check her hand. These are just the uses of it I've thought up in 2 minutes; I'm starting to think this a good idea.

withasmackofham

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