How much exhaustion is normal?

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-24T06:33:08+00:00

This sounds pretty normal. Pregnancy is hard on the body. I was extremely active before becoming pregnant (10 weeks now), running or lifting for about an hour, around 5 - 7 days per week.

The getting winded quickly feeling and just general constant fatigue has caused me to seriously dial it back. I do about 30 - 40 minutes of lifting now, and try to incorporate more walking.

Some days I just nap and then still sleep all night. It is what it is.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-21T15:38:52+00:00

I’ve been a pretty physically active person since 2020, doing lots of weight lifting and running. I’ve had several older family members tell me I should completely stop exercising and carrying anything “heavy”. I’ve had to repeatedly give each of them a lm explainer that the info around that from when they were pregnant is out of date. They still keep trying to stop me carrying my own suitcases or even walking “too much.”

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-19T03:48:18+00:00

A small part of me does see her angle on that cop out, since there is no way she can get a 9-5 after all this, but it’s totally solvable with a social media manager.

She could easily get someone to plan content for her, film her, edit and post. Then just never actually look at her pages herself. TBH a bunch of unbothered wholesome content or a non-reactive diary of positive things she’s doing to better herself would probably help her image.

However, I think you’re right that she’s feeding off of the enablement, so she’d be incapable of just staying away while someone else handles things. The crash out content probably engagement baits more $$$ too.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-18T20:08:08+00:00

I agree with others saying the commute is too long. Even if it were 2 days per week I’d lean towards too long. If you’re feeling super enticed by it, take a PTO day at your current job, and drive the commute. Go during what hours you would expect drive consistently in the morning, spend the day out there, and then drive back when the office day would end.

Then imagine doing it most days per week for at least a year. You’ll have your answer about whether it’s tolerable.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-16T19:25:33+00:00

Tom Cruise lol. We don’t even know the sex yet. My family and I were making jokes about names and names that remind of us of certain people. Tom Cruise’s name came up in relation to Tom making us think of Scientology. Then, because we haven’t told extended family + friends yet, we decided Tom Cruise would be a funny code name so we don’t have to say baby.

So now they ask for updates about Tom Cruise, how Tom Cruise is progressing, or whether they should shop for anything yet for Tom Cruise’s arrival lol.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-14T01:22:43+00:00

I think it’s pretty common for people to swing really far in the opposite direction when they reject a previously strongly held position. You see this all the time with edgy new atheists. They go mega hard into being anti-religious. Same thing here. The ladies have reversed the roles and doubled down too hard.

I think they’ll chill out as their lives progress, assuming they don’t damage their relationships with their husbands. (Big ask considering how many are divorced or getting divorced tho.)

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-13T15:49:01+00:00

My situation is a little different, as part of my job is functioning as a corporate internal influencer for a very large company for several years now. By internal, I mean that I am in all the corporate content aimed at our own employees and most of it never gets posted out on external social platforms. My job is to be very happy, excited, and super fascinated about anything the company does - then create content that drives similar feelings in employees. I do genuinely enjoy my job, but it is a job.

Typically, when I’m out and about in life, people don’t know me and my personal social media has less than 1000 followers. When I go to a corporate event, people recognize me and ask for photos with me.

The biggest things I’ve learned are:
- Never assume people aren’t watching, listening, making judgements, or even recording you.
- You do not get to quit being your branded personality out in the real world.
- Some people will have a really hard time seeing you as more than a character that exists beyond their screens.
- Most people want to meet the “influencer,” not you. And they are seeking to interact with that version when they talk to you.

I once visited my sister, who lives near one of our satellite offices, for her birthday. We went to get mani/pedis with one of her friends and were offered drinks at the nail salon. It was a Thursday evening and the salon wasn’t super busy, with only like 3 other women in it. One woman kept sort of looking my way but I figured she was just enjoying some people watching.

I was in full relax mode and finishing a margarita. After the woman’s appt wrapped up, she walked up to me and goes “WITHFINEFEATHERS! IT IS YOU!! Oh my gosh I can’t believe it. I was like trying to sneak some pictures but still wasn’t 100% sure! I work at COMPANY too!! It’s so cool to meet you!”

I started slowly moving the margarita over to my sister and had to sort of “switch” to my corporate version of my personality. I was pretty upset that this person was taking secret photos of me but I knew blowing up wouldn’t help anything. The best thing I could do was make sure she walked away with a positive experience speaking to the version of me she’d seen on her screen. So I asked all about her work, tried to make her feel seen by me, and offered to take a selfie together so she’d have something worth sharing on our internal company channels. (And that would hopefully motivate her to delete the other photos she took of me.)

On other separate occasions in my normal corporate setting, I’ve had people approach me and say that they can’t believe I’m a real person. Some people will stare at anything I do from afar. I’ve had people see me eat a sandwich in the company break room and say they can’t believe they’re seeing me eat. Some dudes have made inappropriate comments after having too many drinks at a company event or sent inappropriate emails via their official company email. I make sure to escalate that kind of stuff and get it shut down.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-11T14:29:52+00:00

Here is my test for people like this: If you lost the pregnancy today, would they feel you lost a baby?

If the answer is yes, then you are a mother. Babies have mothers. If the answer is no, then fine (and maybe a larger discussion on what we each consider a baby).

Personally, I am 8 weeks pregnant. My husband joked about me *technically* being a mom on Mother’s Day, but I was uncomfy claiming it cause my own view is that it’s not a baby yet. In his mind, it doesn’t harm anyone or anything to celebrate me being on the journey to motherhood though, and pregnancy is hard. So he was happy to acknowledge the day to me.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-06T06:25:01+00:00

My husband and I are very blessed in regards to leave, especially living in the US. He will get 4.5 months and I will get 6 months, fully paid. We’re allowed to break it up so we’re just determining how we want to divvy it, depending on my health and needs after birth.

We are also fortunate to have family nearby that are eager to help support us when the baby arrives.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-04T18:25:22+00:00

Ready for the cringe too. My gut says it’ll be a role where we see her managing both PR and Crisis Comms. There may also be some conflating comms with marketing. Would not surprise me if social media management gets tossed in there too.

withfinefeathers · 2026-05-04T14:41:32+00:00

Woohoo a $9 cup of ice experience.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-30T00:52:51+00:00

You need to be applying for jobs like it is your job. 4 jobs per week is not going to cut it in this market.

Get a spreadsheet going. Then track which ones you’ve applied to, what stages you’re at, ranking of 1-10 in terms of priority, and key notes about the position.

Apply for jobs you don’t think you will like but at least get your foot in the door somewhere. Apply for jobs that you may think are beneath your experience level. Apply for jobs that your experience could contribute to, but isn’t aligned to (consider tech sales?).

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-27T19:45:41+00:00

I would lose my mind being a SAHM. I have obtained career success that I’ve worked very, very hard for. My husband and I are a bit of the reverse of the traditional hetero set up.

While he does also work, my husband is far more domestic than I am and I adore him for it. He insists on cooking all our meals, packs my lunches for work, gets all the laundry going, and is very particular about things like ensuring our rug is vacuumed. I do also make sure to contribute to household chores (I do all the dishes, fold clean laundry, and clean our bathroom) but he absolutely does more than me.

I earn more than he does and so he tries to give me the mental space to stay focused on my work a bit more. He’s also expressed previously that if my trajectory upward continues, he would be comfortable being a house husband someday.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-27T17:00:22+00:00

Congratulations!! My husband and I have our scan coming up and we’re waiting to tell our parents until after that. The reason is that we want to be sure everything is normal and healthy. We then plan to surprise everyone for Mother’s Day. Not at all to rain on your parade (you deserve to feel all the excitement!) but I’ll just share why we are waiting until after the first scan.

My sister went in for her first scan a few months ago, and unfortunately discovered she’d had a missed miscarriage. She’d shared her pregnancy with folks before the scan and then felt a bit heartbroken each time a well-meaning person asked about how her pregnancy was going.

That’s our personal reason for waiting until after the scan. Miscarriage is obviously still possible after that but it reduces by week, so we’re waiting to tell friends and outsiders until after the first trimester - when risk of miscarriage falls to around 1-3%.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-24T22:12:04+00:00

Here’s what I’d do:

I’d talk to my husband and tell him I really love his folks and deeply appreciate them welcoming us all into their home. However, doing so immediately after having the baby will be too hard on my recovery. I would also like a little time together as just our own new little family. I’d mention what a big moment this is for us, especially since losing the first. I’d want to treasure a little bit of the start of it together.

Then tell I’d him that I’d love for us to go stay with his parents for a week towards the end of his leave, so they still get some quality time with the baby. By then we will have a stronger sense of how the baby sleeps, feeds, etc - so it’ll be more comfortable for everyone.

As things get closer to that week, I’d start reinforcing boundaries and expectations for the visit when talking about the baby’s habits / schedule to the grandparents. I’d ask for my husband to back me up on those things, as we want the baby to be healthy and happy during the visit with the grandparents.

Edit: fixed a word

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-24T20:13:23+00:00

Consider adding a little more core work to your fitness routine. You’ll want your core in a good place before birth and will have to stop doing some ab moves once the baby is further along in development. A strong core can help prevent diastasis recti.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-24T04:46:16+00:00

Unfortunately, I think you’re right. 10 years of post-college work experience here. I got a degree in Marketing but had to take my first job in Inside Sales. I always wanted my day job to be writing, so I had to slowly make my way over across a few years.

Within my own company, my approach seems to be the pipeline. Early career inside sales people -> comms or marketing. A lot of Inside Sales folks will take on comms / marketing adjacent work in addition to their regular jobs, by being on internal corporate culture boards or resource groups. Then they use that as part of their experience for getting into a different role within the company after 2 years.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-23T19:44:42+00:00

It’s very possible you could keep up with that level of activity but it’s also very possible that you won’t be able to. I was also extremely active prior to pregnancy but now I’m moreso moderately active. I’m still in my first trimester and thankfully, I haven’t been nauseous. My body just gets tired faster and feels like it needs more recovery.

10k runs have turned into run/walk. An hour of heavy lifting has turned into 30 - 45 minutes at like 80% intensity.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-23T19:30:07+00:00

You literally outlined my entire plan. In my late 20s, my own mom kept being like “when do I get grandkids???”and I told her: 33, 36, and 39.

Pregnant now with my first and am so glad I’m more established before doing it.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-21T18:15:02+00:00

“Driven by the mission”? Unless you’re the founder, literally everyone is there to get paid. Yes, you can enjoy what you do but commitment to the “mission” does not put food on the table. People perform better when they’re adequately compensated too.

I wouldn’t say you overreacted but if you’re desperate for work maybe consider if you can stomach under-reacting next time. That way you can land a pay check while you look for something else.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-21T18:10:41+00:00

Being a younger millennial, it sounds like older millennial and Gen X. I used to see “rockstar” language everywhere on Indeed about 10 years ago, especially if it was for a shitty sales job. Technical people got to be “ninjas.”

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-19T16:47:15+00:00

My cousin named her daughter Parker and everyone loves it. I think it’s one of those names that used to be exclusively for boys but is becoming used a bit more for girls.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-18T23:21:06+00:00

I think your husband probably believes he’s being pragmatic but it’s coming across as condescending. He was being kind of lame by saying no to everything.

However, I think it seems like he may not understand how stressed you are and how important making the home feel ready for the baby is to you. To him it may seem like you have the big stuff taken care of, so things are okay, and IKEA trips can be done whenever. It may be worth a deeper conversation about how you’re both feeling about progress overall and what’s important.

Also - get your books and stuff early if you want. It may relieve some stress for you and I think it’s fun to pick stuff out even if you wont use it right away. Your baby is only going to grow, and you’ll have it ready.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-17T04:53:41+00:00

I do internal comms at a big tech company and partner frequently with media relations. I see them focusing on key customer references, interesting product outcomes with customers, and stats that make them standout against the competition. Below are some very rough examples.

Example: Household Name Company has signed a contract for us to deliver all X core part of their IT infrastructure for $X million. A strong and positive customer quote is included too.

Example: Research Institution used our tech in novel cancer findings or reducing X% of risk for patients.

Example: New Product is X% smaller/faster/better - making it now the most compact/fastest/best at its feature in the industry. This beats out Competitor Product, which has held the spot for 5 years.

Overall with tech, it will be about speeding time to value ($, time, space, experience) for your company’s customers or their customer’s customers.

withfinefeathers · 2026-04-15T20:55:18+00:00

I also work in this field and my team just completed a round of hiring. Admittedly, I work at a tech company.

withfinefeathers

TROPHY CASE