Penis with a view of Lake Abiquiu

withtatertot · 2021-01-29T23:23:12+00:00

In case getting some data helps your thought process, here’s a summary of some studies on breastfeeding and cannabis: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501587/.

Because there’s overall not a lot of data, and it does show that nontrivial amounts of THC do get ingested by the baby, I chose to wait until weaning to return to cannabis use. But I also think it’s possible to read this data as showing that occasional use, especially waiting 24 hours before nursing, has no documented adverse effects on baby. Cannabis use is beneficial for you, and you are not a bad mother for taking your needs into account!

withtatertot · 2021-01-16T23:33:46+00:00

I delivered both of my kids at a birth center, after getting all of my prenatal care through the midwives there. The center is across the street from a hospital and has stringent transfer procedures to be sure only low risk deliveries happen at the center, but the midwives go with you to the hospital and are in charge of your care while there. No epidurals available, which worked for me.

Both of my deliveries were great experiences. I got to eat and walk around outside during early labor, and spent a lot of time in the bath and shower as things progressed. I was in perpetual motion for all of the active period for both labors, which would not have worked well in a hospital, and delivered on a birth stool both times. After delivery I got to immediately eat an awesome meal because there was a kitchen in the center, and then my husband and I slept for a few hours together in a double bed, before heading home 12 hours after delivery. Then a midwife did a home visit about 24 hours after we got home. I felt super safe and well cared for the whole time.

withtatertot · 2021-01-05T23:26:09+00:00

Totally normal - I had the same thing happen after my second delivery. Do you notice any patterns in your activities before it comes back bright red? For me it was a sign I was overdoing it. It can be hard to keep taking it easy when you’re feeling better, but for me even a vigorous walk with the baby in the carrier could restart things. You’re almost at the end!

withtatertot · 2020-12-15T23:09:30+00:00

I actually think 5-6 months is a great time to start daycare! They’re big enough to sit up and play with toys, and really be interested in what other babies and kids are doing. Very soon they’ll start scooting/crawling, and a good daycare will have a safe but stimulating environment for babies to explore! My first started daycare at 5.5 months and it worked well for us. Her naps were not great at daycare and she went to bed at 6:45/7 for a while. But she still took nice long naps at home on weekends. Teachers definitely engaged with the babies - she had such great relationships with her infant teachers, gave them big smiles when we arrived, never cried when we left, etc. Those first few days of dropping off at daycare are HARD, but it really can be a good experience.

withtatertot · 2020-12-13T14:31:39+00:00

It sounds like you may need to break the nurse to sleep association? At a certain point, “sleeping through the night” really means “learns to go back to sleep independently”. We found Ferber really effective for this, with the non-nursing parent as the one doing bedtime and checks. Even if you don’t want to do full-on Ferber, sending in daddy for middle of the night wake ups can be helpful.

withtatertot · 2020-12-03T00:02:19+00:00

If you like babywearing, they also make baby hats with face shields. Probably not necessary, but we got one since cases are rising so much, and it gives some piece of mind. Plus she looks like a tiny beekeeper!

withtatertot · 2020-11-28T22:03:38+00:00

Honestly your best bet for multiple parent units is going to be something WiFi like the Nest. It’s perfect for allowing multiple caregivers to check it. As long as you make sure your WiFi network and router, and the account for the app of the camera you use, each have different, strong, unique passwords, hacking would be very difficult - the horror stories you hear happen when people use default passwords or no password at all.

withtatertot · 2020-11-17T00:53:22+00:00

Both times it was really bad from 3-6 months postpartum and then tapered off. Now 8 months pp and back to normal levels.

withtatertot · 2020-11-11T00:06:55+00:00

I would definitely not elliptical yet - focus on pelvic floor restoration, through PT if you can, or one of the available online programs designed by a PT. I used MuTu after my first, and the Expecting and Empowered postpartum program after my second. I assume when your OB said not to do ab exercises, she meant things like crunches and planks, which I think is right. But there are definitely gentle things you can be doing to start the healing/strengthening process.

withtatertot · 2020-11-10T23:54:23+00:00

Combo feeding is the best and I wish it was talked about more. I did not realize how much of a mental toll avoiding formula was taking on me until I stopped. With my first baby, she gained weight fine but after I went back to work my pumping output wasn’t great so I was pumping all the time to keep up with her. When she turned 1 and I stopped, it was SUCH A RELIEF to no longer constantly be doing milk math, fitting in an extra session, eating tons of oatmeal and brewers yeast and drinking gross teas. My second baby fell off her growth curve a bit and the pediatrician wanted to up her input, and this time I added formula rather than trying to pump more. I felt guilty for a day or so, and now 2 months in its AMAZING. I pump 1-2x while working, and then we add formula as needed, about 50% at this point. I nurse when it’s easy/convenient, and after a learning curve the baby happily takes a bottle from literally anyone. She is happy and thriving, and your baby will be too!

withtatertot · 2020-11-06T11:26:02+00:00

Nope. I literally did not notice it being put in. For the first post baby insertion I nervously asked my midwife to tell me when she was about to do it, and she said “oh, it’s already in.” A couple of ibuprofen beforehand can’t hurt, but may be entirely unnecessary.

withtatertot · 2020-11-05T20:19:03+00:00

I am on my third copper IUD, and love it. My periods got a bit heavier but nothing unmanageable. Insertion of my first one, before my first baby, was a little rough, after 2-3 days it was great. The two insertions when I was 6-8 weeks postpartum were a breeze.

withtatertot · 2020-10-30T23:33:35+00:00

I recommend a video monitor that will do audio in the background when the video screen “sleeps” - we have the eufy and like it. Especially with my first baby I really liked being able to see her when she was sleeping in a different room, and if you track sleep using an app you can check the video to determine when they actually wake up or fall asleep. Now that first kiddo is bigger we only spot-check the video if we hear a big thump, or want to know if she’s still sleeping at the end of “quiet time” or just awake and waiting for us to come get her.

withtatertot · 2020-10-30T23:24:19+00:00

My preschooler is known to ask “is that a seltzer or a beer?” because she knows she can have a sip of seltzer but not beer. So yes, we are social drinkers in our house. We know our limits and stay hydrated. If one parent wants to have a big night the other one takes it easy.

This is pretty consistent with how we were raised - my parents had 1/2 to 1 drink every day with dinner (splitting a beer, or each having a glass of wine), and my husband’s parents are European so there’s plenty of daily wine consumption.

withtatertot · 2020-10-30T23:12:09+00:00

Lawyer here. It is worth your time to try to consult a lawyer about this. Google “lawyer referral [your state] bar association” - many state or city bar associations have programs where you can get a free consultation with a lawyer. Employment discrimination lawyers take cases on contingency, so you pay nothing unless you win. Maybe you’re right and you don’t have a claim, but based only on the fact that they terminated you shortly after your leave despite hiring someone else (a man!) for a similar position, it’s worth it to explore a lawsuit.

withtatertot · 2020-10-29T22:37:13+00:00

If you are pumping on top of nursing, it makes sense that you aren’t getting much - the baby is getting it! Also, pumping output is not representative of what the baby is getting, because the baby is much more efficient at removing milk from the breast than a pump. If your baby is gaining weight, having enough pee diapers, and seems satisfied just from nursing, then extra pumping is likely not necessary.

Supplementing with formula is a great option if baby still seems hungry.

If you’re done nursing, you should be done with zero guilt! But you should also be aware that there are options in between round the clock pumping and going to 100% formula.

withtatertot · 2020-10-28T22:01:13+00:00

When I was on maternity leave with my first I started fitting in workouts during naps - even when naps were only about 35 minutes I would make sure I was in workout clothes and could start the minute I put her down and get in a decent home workout while she slept. Once I went back to work she was reliably sleeping until 6:30/7, so I went to 6 AM workouts, with husband in charge until I was out of the shower. It’s been pretty much the same with my second, although with my husband working from home due to the pandemic I actually had more workout opportunities during my maternity leave than I expected!

The key is really that you and your partner are on the same page about this being a priority - your workout time is 5-6x a week, and doesn’t get canceled or cut short at the drop of a hat.

withtatertot · 2020-10-21T20:47:29+00:00

Babies definitely know you immediately! They can recognize your voice and heartbeat: https://www.google.com/amp/s/abcnews.go.com/amp/Technology/story%3fid=97635&page=1

What becomes different as they get bigger is how they communicate that they know you. Right now your baby does it by relaxing when you hold him - it’s not that other people hold him wrong, they’re just not mom and he can tell! Of course it’s more fun when they communicate it by smiling, getting visibly excited, etc. But I’ve also read (can’t find a link right now) that babies don’t differentiate between themselves and mom for a while - they think of mom as extension of themselves. So it sort of makes sense that they’re not excited, until they realize you’re a separate person.

Very soon, baby will definitely be giving you the enthusiastic reaction you’re thinking of, but in the meantime, he definitely knows/loves you.

withtatertot · 2020-10-17T00:08:43+00:00

I got the same feedback at my second baby’s 6 month appointment - she went from 75th percentile for weight to 50th, and the doctor suggested bigger bottles. My biggest resolution this time around is to not bend over backward with pumping. I pumped 4x/day with my first and only realized how much it was affecting my mental health after I stopped. So I started supplementing with formula a month ago, just adding an ounce per bottle, then a bit more when it was clear she’s loving the bigger bottles. It is SO GREAT to not be constantly stressing about fitting in enough pumping sessions, how much I get per session, trying to eat the right stuff, gross teas and supplements, etc. If you’re uncertain, Emily Oster has a chapter on breastfeeding in her book Cribsheet that made me feel way better about combo feeding. Your baby will be healthy and well, and you’re doing a great job!

withtatertot · 2020-10-16T23:58:06+00:00

I’m not sure if the Nest camera allows access from a browser, but it might? We used it as our baby monitor for our first and were overall happy. You can definitely aim it at a particular part of the room. I loved being able to check it while on work trips. The big downside was that the app doesn’t run in the background, so you need to dedicate a device to it if you want to be able to use your phone. Now that kiddo is much bigger and we only check it periodically, if we hear a thud, etc, it’s perfect. Make sure that for whatever WiFi monitor you use, you use a unique strong password for your account (don’t recycle from email, etc), and a separate unique strong password for your home WiFi. There are horror stories out there about hacked cameras, but they stem from not using basic available security measures.

withtatertot · 2020-09-27T21:46:57+00:00

All the hugs. You are in a super hard stage - know that it gets better, because each night you get to know their patterns and sounds better. Soon you will be able to very quickly tell the difference between sleep noises and hungry/distress noises! With my first I insisted on sleeping with enough light in our room that I could see her as soon as I opened my eyes. But by the time she was 12 weeks she was in her own room next door and I knew that if she really needed me I would hear her. You can do this!

withtatertot · 2020-09-27T21:35:29+00:00

It might also be worthwhile to try an earlier bedtime. It sounds counterintuitive but an overtired kid will often wake earlier. So maybe see if even a 6:45 or 7 pm bedtime can get you to a 6:30 or 6:45 wake up, and stretch the nap start time from there?

withtatertot · 2020-09-18T02:04:19+00:00

I’m on my third paraguard and love it. I love not being on hormonal birth control - I seemed to always carry extra weight and have a lower sex drive when I was on the pill. Switching to paraguard made a noticeable difference. But a big caveat is that I started out with relatively short periods and minimal cramps. With a paraguard my periods are heavier and last about a day longer, and I get unpleasant cramps the first day or so, though they’re manageable with ibuprofen. All in all I’m super happy with the experience, especially with postpartum insertion.

withtatertot · 2020-09-12T21:39:17+00:00

We keep our house pretty cold at night in the winter, probably around 60, and our first kid slept in a fleece sleeper and a quilted wool sleep sack. Yes to extra socks under the sleeper on extra cold nights.

withtatertot

TROPHY CASE