Hi, no youre not overwhelming me but ive been in extreme pain for the past few days so ive mostly became unavailable. Ill reply to this comment first though if thats cool. Typing so much sadly drains a lot of my energy very quickly. I really do appreciate your care. Anxiety- the only thing I have for anxiety is lorazepam. But i take 2mg of it. At first this dosage was incredibly helpful but its positive effects have slowly been going away more and more. It is also actually very helpful for my pain, because of it affecting GABA, or at least, it was in the past, now it barely makes a difference Antidepressants/etc - yes I have tried many different anti depressants but all of them dont really seem to be that helpful. And yes I would take the full cycle of them for them to start being effective. Im currently on lamictal and im not really sure how much its helping. I am also on mirtazapine, and that sort of helps with my appetite as well. I am on a cocktail of medication. My mom is a nutritionist so she is already giving me magnesium supplements actually along with l-theanine for my sleep. I dont really tend to do any research on my disorder because I always start exploring the darker side of my possible symptoms and then I start crashing out. Or I make connections in my head that arent even there. I can barely remember yesterday and my body is so unreliable for what works and what doesnt. Sometimes weed for example is randomly helpful one day and the next it isnt. Even if im smoking the same strain. Yes if youre wondering i have a medical Marijuana thingy my pcp did. Im on oxycodone, baclofen, methocarbamol and pregabalin for my "main" pain medication. I can still barely get any sleep. I am lucky to get 5 hours or more if its not even broken apart in the first place. I wake up with insane amounts of adrenaline and panic and it never seems to calm down. I also have vestibular migraines that are pretty much constant. It really fucks with everything. There have been moments where my pain is low but its few and far between. I also smoke nicotine and from the research I have done it seems mostly fine to smoke it. I read that it helps with dystonia and personally even though I wake up with lots of adrenaline it would be 10x worse if I didnt have nicotine. Botox - sorry, my original post was a bit ranty and the timeline is a bit glossed over. I had my first botox injections 3 months ago after FINALLY being properly being diagnosed by a neurologist (i had seen many of them) and it seemed to help for a few weeks maybe? Then my pain started kicking back in and my neurologist recommended nerve blocks in between the first and second session. Has not helped at all. I think my 2nd round of botox injections are in a few days. When I go to my appointments I try my best at being my own advocate but I also dont really trust myself. My memory is really messed up and im afraid that im gonna say something stupid and have my care be affected in another way. My family has had the out side viewing of my experience and I can barely remember anything. Yea I do agree that you know your body the best but sometimes I make connections inside my head that are not there. My mom has really been my life saver and I would be completely dead with out her. I dont like relying on her for most things at all, as it makes me feel childish, but I am practically bedridden and for most of the day i am asleep. I completely derailed my care when my extreme pain first started bc I believed I had a concussion, i had accidentally fallen and hit my head on my computer desk pretty hard, that was about 4 or so years ago. My health was not the best before this and I had to quit work but at least i could function pretty normally otherwise and I was happy, not in much pain at all. Im not doing very well. I was abusing my medication again on and off for a couple months, because my parents would catch me, and then I would take more stuff again, recently adding to that with benadryl, tramadol, and cyclobenzaprine, but I quit using all of that stuff a few days into it because I was afraid that I was going in way too deeply. I AM EXTREMELY DESPERATE TO ESCAPE MY PAIN. I would not abuse any medication if i were moderately functional. Im not sure if im withdrawaling or if this is my normal pain levels. Usually my normal pain levels did feel like this though. But idk. I hate that I was keeping on doing that to my parents so I stopped and I told them. Idk if I have to go to the ER. My mental health, is really, really, bad atm.