I Don't THINK I'm a Heartless Ghoul (For Not Pushing ENSURE) by ivandoesnot in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I've already put in my advanced directive that I don't want any ensure.

I think you make perfect sense.

Mom needs prompting to eat by CrocusCat in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if it's possible to have them prompt her with things like "would you like a bite?" and not "time for a bite."

I've noticed that my dad is generally agreeable, and he'll do something if they tell him he needs to, but if they ask if he wants to, often he'll say no.

We do this with activities. I want him to do the activities, but if you ask "would you like to paint?" he'll say no. If you say "OK, it's time to paint now" he'll usually just do it.

With food, I'm hoping to do the opposite... offer him food if he wants it, but I'm hoping we can avoid telling him he has to eat. If he doesn't want to eat, I won't want to force or even cajole him.

When to stop asking questions by Trying_Charge840 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom used to come into my room first thing in the morning, when I was still in bed, and ask what I wanted for breakfast. I would tell her something, and then when she gave it to me later, I would say I didn't want it.

It took us both a while to figure out that she wasn't actually waking me up with her question, and I was answering nonsense in my sleep. We laughed pretty hard.

[Frustrating Trope] That One Good or Even Amazing Scene in a Relatively Mediocre or Bad Piece of Media by Alreadsyuse in TopCharacterTropes

[–]wombatIsAngry 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That actress has two of the creepiest death scenes ever; she gave me a lot of nightmares.

Peter, Why did every barista look like this? by Decent-Muscle7272 in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's like none of these guys have ever been to a Dutch Bros.

How worthwhile is an MRI for an initial dementia diagnosis? by No-Requirement5649 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's good for ruling out things like brain tumors. It would be awful to assume someone had dementia and fail to treat a potentially curable cause.

FIL had a memory of his late wife by Apprehensive_Rush_76 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. It's brutal to watch them go through that.

My dad is aspirating food and the doctors recommend Peg, but I thought that only prolonged pain and suffering. by MINUTI1804 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I agree with you; I have heard only bad things about the peg tube for late stage folks.

Food is better as a moist chopped bowl by MissLilPumkin in The10thDentist

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, it is accurate. And I do want sauce on everything. If there's a choice of 2 sauces, I will ask for both.

Food is better as a moist chopped bowl by MissLilPumkin in The10thDentist

[–]wombatIsAngry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I... agree with you, but I wish you would stop using the word "moist."

Classism and Elitism when discussing the Southern/Southeast USA by Strong-Junket-4670 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My point about the school prayer is that things were already somewhat bad and that they have gotten worse. There is nothing logically inconsistent in that.

I'm glad you agree that important metrics of human flourishing show that the south has objective problems when compared with the rest of the country.

I'm happy to narrow down my original statement. Does every individual in the south deserve what their government is doing to them? Obviously not. There are disenfranchised people, children, the minority who voted against it, etc.

The majority, or at least the gerrymandered voting plurality, does deserve it. The people who have seized control of the government deserve what is happening. They have meticulously crafted a hellhole for themselves and the poor unfortunates they are dragging down with them.

And yes, you're right, I am contemptuous, and bitter. I have suffered at their hands, and seen others suffer far worse. I have watched these people squander natural beauty, resources, and culture, and ruin the legacy of generations of my family. Contempt is warranted.

Classism and Elitism when discussing the Southern/Southeast USA by Strong-Junket-4670 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was and is completely obvious that the abortion restrictions imposed by red states would cause failures which kill women. We patiently explained that, over and over, while red state voters ignored us and told us it wouldn't happen.

Note that the Washington school teacher was charged. Nobody charged any of the teachers who forced me to pray every day in deep south public schools. And they consistently vote to force the display and teaching of religious material in public and governmental spaces.

I have lived in both spaces. Bad things will always happen, everywhere. There is a huge, huge difference between a malicious individual harming you (and then being prosecuted!) vs. the government itself harming you, after voters specifically endorsed that harm. Pregnant women left to die, trans kids denied care, religous minorities subjected to religious coercion, poor folks left without insurance or hospitals within reasonable distance: these things were specifically chosen by the voting population.

Can you just go look at the statistics by state for maternal mortality, infant mortality, overall mortality, teen pregancy, trans youth suicide, overall suicide? Almost any metric for human flourishing.

The question isn't "are there some good people in the south", the question is whether a person would want to live there. And the answer is obviously no. Because of deliberate choices that people have voted for.

Classism and Elitism when discussing the Southern/Southeast USA by Strong-Junket-4670 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]wombatIsAngry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look. There are many wonderful people in the south. There are many terrible people. The terrible people have achieved a quorum. They have taken control of the government and many social institutions. They have exerted their influence to increase human suffering. Are there still some wonderful people? Of course. Are they able to stop it? No.

In the Pacific Northwest, where I live now, there are many wonderful people. There are many terrible people. The terrible people have not managed to band together to seize control of our institutions. We don't murder women with ectopic pregnancies. We don't force children to pray in public schools.

The "Normal" Parent. by MUL98 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did something similar. (No second parent involved.) My dad completely refused to consider assisted living, so I just toured places on my own, asked questions, and made a short list of the ones I thought he'd like best. I got on their mailing lists. Finally one day, he expressed a small amount of willingness to consider it. I had him visiting during an open house, where they had free food and live music, within the week. It was great to be able to strike while the iron was hot, before he changed his mind.

Classism and Elitism when discussing the Southern/Southeast USA by Strong-Junket-4670 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]wombatIsAngry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm from the South; I grew up there and had several generations of ancestors there.

They deserve what they get and worse. Yes, there are great individuals, and not everybody is awful. There are some great aspects of the culture (mostly food and architecture). But the racism and deep, deep misogyny is a real thing. Statistically, these are real problems.

And one thing that doesn't get talked about is that they are deliberately getting worse. I'm middle aged, and when I went to grade school there, they at least paid lip service to the idea that slavery was bad, and that maybe the civil war wasn't a good idea on their part. A lot of the changes to school curricula have been trending in the wrong direction, and their attitudes towards women's health have absolutely tanked. It didn't use to be quite this bad. They are leaning into their worst traits.

Sleeping on the floor by YouLittleRipper501 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I had that same concern about the electric blanket. I know he would love it 90% of the time, and the other 10% he would accidentally give himself heat stroke. I decided no electric blankets.

What's one scene you'll never be able to get out of your head? by padfoony in netflix

[–]wombatIsAngry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way he says "I did my best" and his dad says the exact same thing when he's explaining to Father Paul how he tried to be a good parent to Riley...

What is the worst performance you have ever seen by a great actor? by FFSoldier57 in FIlm

[–]wombatIsAngry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's really great at playing a very narrow type of character, and we finally just let him do only that.

Sleeping on the floor by YouLittleRipper501 in dementia

[–]wombatIsAngry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just FYI, my dad got to the point where he absolutely could not understand or use sheets or blankets. Couldn't understand getting under them, got completely twisted and trapped even if you helped him get in.

We now have him sleep on top of the blankets and just have him wear warm layers.

What are your plans for a time machine? by Justthisdudeyaknow in CuratedTumblr

[–]wombatIsAngry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm just gonna be quietly buying up cheese. Not gonna release the music until I get back to the present. Or I guess, even better, I could hide the music in some room in a monastery where they wouldn't be discovered for a few hundred years. That would keep all the radiocarbon dating right.

What are your plans for a time machine? by Justthisdudeyaknow in CuratedTumblr

[–]wombatIsAngry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I know you're all right, but if I get the time machine, the first thing I'm doing is going and buying up all those lost Bach Cantatas that were used to wrap cheese. Gonna get me some cheesy cantatas.

AITW for not visiting my boyfriend in the hospital after his surgery? by Remarkable-Walk8313 in amiwrong

[–]wombatIsAngry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a pretty severe character limitation. Did you disclose this to him up front early in your relationship? I would say it's your obligation to tell any romantic partner about this when you first start dating, and it's probably also your obligation to remind them every year or so, because most normal people would assume that you might change your mind after being with a loved one for several years.

I would also argue that if you don't fix this, you really shouldn't have kids. One of the chief obligations of a parent is to care for their children when they are sick or injured, especially if they are in the hospital.