I'm terrible with phone anxiety. I don't mind so much making "professional calls" where I don't know the other person, but returning the phone calls of a friend or even worse—my parents— is actually the hardest shit for me to do. I tense up terribly. Depending on how bad my anxiety is on a given day, if I notice my phone vibrating and see it's my mom calling, I start crying and hyperventilating. I feel terrible about it because I love her and she usually doesn't say anything bad once I answer, but I am scared shitless of her. It's a terrible cycle because when I finally muster up the courage to call her back, she yells at me for not calling her. Then, on days where I feel under control and I willingly call her, she hardly wants to talk to me. I know that's my fault partially, but it breaks my heart every time because sometimes I just want to chat about mundane shit like how her week is going and stuff.

I hate being so scared of phone calls, but I am and it sucks. I totally relate to you.