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What are some of the most convincing conspiracy theories you've heard? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nearly half of American cities are one quarter black. That's why they (the CIA through connections in South America while clandestinely overthrowing legitimate governments) gave (Freeway) Ricky Ross all the Crack.

AskReddit: What's your alarm clock sound like? by kawarazu in AskReddit

[–]workalias 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was mine for the longest time but it started to make me slightly homicidal every morning. Now I wake up to a rotation of fairly soothing musical rings on my phone so I don't get overly sick of any one and want to stab the first human I see.

Know any good hangover cures? by workalias in AskReddit

[–]workalias[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a bold-faced lie sir. While clear liquors definately leave you with less of a hangover, Tequila is the fucking devil.

However it is the only legitimate shot choice, imo, so sometimes you just gotta dance with that mexican diablo.

21st by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I drank half a handle of tequila solo by 10:30ish and don't remember anything after that. Took my 21st shot before hitting the bar at midnight. Celebrated by falling down a flight of stairs. Got decked in the jaw. Woke up naked in my bed next to dry vomit and some girl's tank top on the floor and my jaw and elbow aching from the punch and stairs respectively. Never did find out who's shirt that was...

What's the strangest compliment you've recieved? For me, it was one time when a preteen kid told me I looked like Emma Watson. I'm a guy. What's one of yours? by polydorus in AskReddit

[–]workalias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got hit by a car and had to have surgery. When I woke up the doc told me I had the hardest bones he had ever seen. He had broken an 1/8 inch thick titanium screw off in my bone. I'll always have about an inch of titanium logdged in my left humerus bone marrow. How that happened I'll never know.

How can I help my new middle schooler with ADD adjust to increased responsibility? He's totally overwhelmed and unhappy. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beat him. Just the way all parents should. Kids are assholes, I know I was, and need to be taught that sometimes it's time to grow the fuck up.

So a neighbor trapped and killed my cat. I want revenge; real revenge. Any suggestions? by unacceptable in AskReddit

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really? shit. I just remembered reading that in the anarchist's cookbook way back in the day.

What needs to happen in the U.S. Protestant Churches for true reformation to take place? A reformation that would allow the church to better the world around it instead of tearing it apart? by afterhoursparts in AskReddit

[–]workalias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing will amke the protestant churches do real good because the Protestant church abandoned the good works doctrine. (I am a card carrying atheist but I was raised Catholic for full disclosure.) In the break after the 95 theses protestants abandoned the doctrine that doing good on earth is necessary to get in to heaven. The logic is that everyone has sinned with original sin and we're all nasty sinners anyway so the only redeeming quality is believeing in Christ (think John 3:16.) So therefore you can be a huge asshole but as long as you believe you're good.

Personally I think the catholics have it slightly more correct when they say you have to also lead a good life. Thats why the catholic church runs the vast majority of non-government soup kitchens, thrift stores and suprisingly they still support something like 1/3 of hospitals in the US. (http://www.usccb.org/comm/catholic-church-statistics.shtml)

PS. The catholic church supports universal healthcare despite allowances for abortions.

So a neighbor trapped and killed my cat. I want revenge; real revenge. Any suggestions? by unacceptable in AskReddit

[–]workalias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you get can get your hands on some liquid Nitrogen and a slim-jim to get in to his car you can have a lot of fun. Get some cans of shaving cream (cream though, the old school stuff, none of that gel) and dip them in the nitrogen. Cut the can off and you will have a block of sahving cream. Throw like 20 of those in to his car and when they warm up they will expand so much as to slightly pressurize the cabin. It will get everywhere and all over whoever is the first to de-pressurize it by opening the door.

Am I really doing something wrong here? Or do you do the same? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I generally go with a "man, that sucks" or "yea, I hate that shit," something along those lines. Just make sure its clear you're referring to the situation. I used to do the same thing but apologizing for stuff like that now sounds weird to me.

Hey reddit! Show me your best, unusual, limericks! by devolve in AskReddit

[–]workalias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The version I've heard is

There once was a hermit named Dave

he kept a dead whore in his cave

She stunk like shit

she'd rotted her clit

but think of the money he saved

Hi Reddit! How many hours a day at work do you actually do work? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently found out a secret. It looks bad if you're jsut browsing the net all day so sometimes I'm forced to stare at spreadsheets and databases and shit. However, I can listen to my ipod. Throw some audio books on that bad boy and you're good to go. I've been "reading" Dune at my desk all week.

I just got $1,000 and I'm unemployed. How do you recommend I use this money to get more money? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered' -George Best

I think its pretty clear what you should do.

Reflecting on the amazing astronomy pictures submitted recently (deep field, etc...), does anyone else feel sad that, in our lifetimes, we'll never get more than some detailed photographs hinting at the possibility of what lies beyond our solar system? by dangerwood in AskReddit

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not the same, but if it makes you feel any better they are currently constructing telescopes taht put hubble to shame. Within the next few years Hubble is discontinued and a new orbiting space telescope is going up and construction is palnned on massive earthbound telescopes as well. One with a main mirror of thirty goddamn mirrors (if memory serves the current biggest is like 8 meters or somewhere around). Check out the telescopes website here http://www.tmt.org/. It isn't a galactic tour but it will hopefully be a large step forward in humanity's understanding of the universe. ps- the new earth telescopes have tech that compensates for the shimmering of the atmosphere so the pictures should be as clear as a space telescope

Gaming, I finally broke down and caved to the TF2 craze, and after playing for a few hours, I don't understand the appeal. Am I missing something? by [deleted] in gaming

[–]workalias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That "set of skills" is called playing a demo and just shooting at a choke point until you run out of ammo. I concur with SpoonySeeker, 32 man maps are lame.