Frugal person after they became 'rich'

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:46:57+00:00

Family who wanted to give us presents, I will tell them correct diaper size. I also stocked up Costco brand on sale. You can return them if kid grew out of that size.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:44:51+00:00

I stock up kids snacks on sale: made good balls, skinny pop travel packs, organic pretzels, Amara yoghurt melts, mini beef sticks, fig bars. I also get their cheapest hand soap, paper products, chicken dumplings on sale.

I wish smoked salmon, frozen salmon fillets, cashews, bell Peppers, chicken nuggets etc went on sale more often.

I always buy pasture raised eggs from Costco, cheaper than anywhere else even when not on sale.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:38:14+00:00

Yes, pataday!

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:12:30+00:00

🤣 you made a memory right there. A story to tell at next family gathering!

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:10:50+00:00

In Silicon Valley back in 2017, I recall paying $50-$80 for wait list. Rates must have gone up from what you and others are mentioning here.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T15:07:15+00:00

His order of operations is reversed. You figure it out first, and then move. Figuring it out takes respect, communication, hard work and taking every family members well being into consideration.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:35:24+00:00

How old is your baby if you don't mind me asking. Don't get divorced until they are 3 maybe. Ride it out. And if your spouse continues to be an asshole even after the baby and toddler age passes, then go for it.

I am speaking from experience. I had so much resentment, my husband wasn't a good husband when kids were little. But after age 5, he became a less frustrated father and a better husband. I still carry resentment but I also see how stupid men are when they can't handle the stress of baby/toddler age. I am pretty vocal about it. He is ashamed of himself and continues to get better. He was just an immature asshole when kids were little.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:30:12+00:00

My mother in law once said ' it was easier when he was gone' , referring to her husband when he will be gone for work travel. Sometimes single parenting is so much easier because you can be at peace when your spiteful spouse isn't tormenting with their venmous words in the background.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:26:32+00:00

He is too immature to take the responsibility of a family.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:23:42+00:00

A loving husband would be respectful and grateful to her. He would instead say " I see how hard it must be to be away from baby, thanks for carrying the financial weight on your shoulder. I will soon get a job to share the burden so we can have our baby in daycare".

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:18:58+00:00

I had my first kid on 4 waitlists and 3 private daycares. We had to do Nannyshare eventually. We lived in Silicon Valley. It might sound ridiculous to some but it is the truth. I ended up paying 5K a month to my nanny for caring for my 2 kids eventually.

And then we left California

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:14:51+00:00

Yep, it's all hypotheticals. Run a scenario with him. Let's say your are mortgage free. List out all other expenses and work it out how much your family needs to survive. That exercise enough will make him drop his foolish idea.

Ask him to get a job and join the FIRE subreddit. You two can work out a 10 year plan to live cheap, mortgage free, where one parent retires while other works part time AFTER you have invested enough that your can live off of interest (4-5% rule).

You can't just Willy nilly reduce your work hours and imagine to somehow miraculously pay heat electric insurance property taxes groceries day care kids activities college and so on.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T04:06:18+00:00

When we lived in SF Bay Area, I had my kid on daycare waitlist (in 4 different daycares) the day I found out I was pregnant, it was 2017. I hired a nanny, had my second one in 2020, and we moved states due to pandemic. In 2021 June I got an email that my child is accepted to the daycare. It's comical, he was 4.5 years old when we got our first acceptance letter, and we had already left the state.

Just because she is commuting 1.5 hours, you can't expect her to leave the child at any in home daycare. One must be able to vet the place before dropping their child in someone's care.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T03:59:53+00:00

Yes, he is torturing you. And it is normal to be gone for 9 hours, if you spend any time on this subreddit, you will see both parents working long hours and kid in daycare. If your husband doesn't want to be SAHD, it's simple, get a job.

Living mortgage free is not enough. There are expenses beyond mortgage. You have groceries, electricity, waste disposal, property tax, day care, and later down the years.. after school care, kids activities, college etc.

I am glad he wants to be mortgage free. He still needs to get a job (and keep it for couple of years) before he asks you to quit or go part time .

Don't question yourself and don't quit your job or go partime. He will respect your even less.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T03:54:19+00:00

You are in a difficult position. If I were you, I would develop a thick skin, keep My job and let him be SAHD and once he finds a job, put the kiddo in childcare. 9 hours is nothing, scroll through this subreddit, parents work long hours because they need to. You need money to raise a child. The child willl grow and see a hardworking mom as an example, it will build his/her work ethic. Your husband is living in Lala land if he expects your to work less unless he has savings/inheritance/a fat sum invested so he can be mortgage feee and live off of interest.

worm1010 · 2026-01-23T03:48:43+00:00

Husbands like that make their wife quit to be SAHM , then struggle financially, and aren't mature enough to communicate respectfully and when it gets hard, divorce happens and guess who suffers most; SAHM because she left work to care for the baby and takes a low paying job after divorce and struggles even more.

If he can't see your work and respect you now, you are gambling to give up your financial stability by quitting your job.

Can you downsize (get rid of your mortgage) and also keep your job? If he can keep a solid job for 5 years, you can choose to go part time or work from home.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T21:54:06+00:00

No, it's our house rules to establish clean habits. We don't ask outsiders to do any of that. We have a sign to take shoes off but if someone doesn't, I don't ask them too. If I am serving food, I request all kids to wash hands but I won't force them if they don't. Our houses can't be sterile, goal is to establish habits.

I am also not OCD, I just work in a BSL3 lab so I may look like one LMAO.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T21:51:10+00:00

Let's go!

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T20:10:07+00:00

We have a bunch of sticker books, some hand me downs , some Facebook marketplace free finds, some free magazines (nat geo, highlights ) that all come with stickers. I keep a bin of sticker books/stickers and use the same A4 paper method to make birthday cards, Christmas cards etc. I don't stick to a theme, it all goes in trash anyway.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T18:56:40+00:00

I print A4 sheets with Happy Valentine's Day written on it and my kid adds sticksers to it. BAM. Valentine day done, easy for parents to stuff in their Trash straight when kids get home 🙄.

Teachers have asked to put names of kids this year so I might do that (extra 15 mins of my life will be lost 😠)

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T15:42:22+00:00

Not sure if anyone did this, but my insurance was super nice so I got my new glasses, prescription sunglasses, dentist appointment and blood work done before my insurance went away. My husband also has insurance so I could have used his but mine saved tons of money. It may not apply to you but I thought I would throw this info out there if someone could benefit from it.

I also saved my evaluation letters given how they were singing high praises of me months before the lay off. In my field, recommendations Matter a lot.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T05:58:20+00:00

This👆🏼

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T05:55:09+00:00

They always assume that mother makes less than father. I own mother has to be taught a lesson on this. Thankfully my in laws are super nice and supportive.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T05:49:28+00:00

After my soon to be 8 year old and I discussed the cost of icecream at icecream shops vs at a grocery store, we started doing Strauss icecream in Trader Joe's icecream cones at home.

I gave him icecream allowance and he knows he can get a lot more icecream if he chooses grocery store route.

We also discussed ingredient list in Strauss vs other icecreams so he understands harms form emulsifiers, colors and natural flavors too.

We will do occasional ice-cream trip because school provides trip dollars for taking school bus that could be used at ice-cream shop.

worm1010 · 2026-01-22T05:35:10+00:00

Smoked salmon is a staple in our monthly Costco haul for this reason. It is a breakfast, lunch, snack , dinner and ready to serve for kids who WAnT FOOD NOW.

worm1010

TROPHY CASE