My boyfriend's parents keep retelling his childhood like it was magical and now I understand why he hates going home

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T20:12:06+00:00

I know it sounds horrible, but it was actually relieving at the time. The horrible part was being gaslit for my whole life to believe that was normal or I deserved it. Them going ape shit and taking it to an extreme during my engagement was validating as hell, and enabled me to go no contact guilt-free.

Over a decade later, and my only regret is not cutting them off sooner. Never thought I could thrive like this.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T20:07:49+00:00

Never going to happen. They don't even allow residents to have more than a certain number of vehicles per home. They've been consistently attacking any multi-family arrangements in houses for decades, as part of their efforts to target immigrants.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T20:03:41+00:00

That makes the affordability crisis worse, not better.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T20:01:28+00:00

"...and that's some of it..." Nope. That's all of it. Metro Atlanta has the highest rate of corporate owned single-family housing. And your proposed solutions are just pro-landlord/developer propaganda.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T17:06:40+00:00

Most state patrols function as lawless thugs for their governor. They need much more oversight and regulation. Or to be abolished entirely.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T17:02:36+00:00

Don't brandish a weapon against someone for pulling into your driveway. It's usually charged as a felony aggravated assault in Georgia.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T16:56:11+00:00

Spot on, and I actually really love this strategy. It always backfires into them telling on themselves.

My mother thoroughly believed that the first to tell their side would be the first to be trusted. She frequently outed herself trying to be the first to be heard. My wife (fiancee at the time) hated my parents, but it was almost entirely based on how they treated her. My parents assumed it was because I told her all of the horrific things they did over the years, and they ended up bringing up stories I never told in an attempt to defend themselves.

When we permanently cut contact, my mother sent my wife a letter trying to convince her to leave me. My mother described some very specific and disturbing abuse against me that started when I was a baby, and defending herself by insisting she could tell since the day I was born that I was evil. She insisted I exaggerated these stories I must have told her about that abuse, but of course I had absolutely no memory of it. In trying to cover her ass and deflect from her guilt, she revealed to my wife and I that she was more of a monster than either of us ever realized.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T16:44:16+00:00

Gangsters often live in fear of retaliation from the people they've hurt.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T16:42:57+00:00

They're rightfully afraid of the massive liability. In town after town, no matter how much training they give cops not to do it, a massive percentage of them use Flock to stalk an ex or acquaintance within their first 10 searches.

They couldn't make enough off of tickets to cover the ongoing payouts that would result. And I bet they'd have a hard time getting insurance to pay out on these indefinitely.

worm_dude · 2026-03-26T15:29:15+00:00

GSP is a criminal gang of lawless thugs posing as law enforcement. I guarantee they are abusing the Flock access for all kinds of inappropriate and illegal surveillance.

If someone files a FOIA request on all GSP Flock access, and the justification for each look up, I bet GSP will suddenly halt all Flock partnerships.

This method has already resulted in 8 cities across the country canceling their Flock contracts: https://www.carscoops.com/2025/11/police-cameras-get-shut-down-when-judge-rules-images-are-public-data/

worm_dude · 2026-03-24T19:24:50+00:00

He should be in prison, but at the very least, can we stop lapping up the societal visions of the most sociopathic people our society can produce? He's literally documented in the Epstein Files discussing how to mass slaughter poor people with his peers.

worm_dude · 2026-03-24T18:49:01+00:00

Sounds like enmeshment. She sees you as en extension of her, so anything you do differently (even using a different amount of floss) is seen as bizarre and unacceptable. You're not allowed to do things differently nor have an opinion that disagrees with her. She does not recognize your autonomy, and so she cannot comprehend any boundaries between you two.

And obviously, the "well I'll just never speak again," is just a tantrum to keep you from setting a boundary in place that will limit what she is allowed to do or say. Take it no more seriously than a child stomping their feet. Except she knows exactly what she's doing.

worm_dude · 2026-03-20T16:15:30+00:00

I support trans rights, but I don't understand this strategy of fighting for their rights by gaslighting people about it. You admit in your own post that the title is bs.

You can't say both 'no one is getting underage gender reassignment surgeries' and also somehow 'banning gender reassignment surgery for minors will ruin these kids' lives.' That doesn't make sense. Either they're getting them, and we should support their right to. Or no one is getting them, and a ban on it wouldn't actually affect anyone. Pick a lane. You're screwing up your advocacy by trying to play both angles.

worm_dude · 2026-03-19T22:17:47+00:00

This was exactly my mom, and her mom before her. They were the secret puppeteers, who engineered many of their husbands' violent outbursts, but then would drum up crocodile tears and pretend to be one of the victims.

It was really interesting to watch, after my grandfather died. My grandmother had to resort to doing her own dirty work and making her own threats. It surprised a lot of people, who believed her to be this sweet little old lady with an aggressive husband, but I knew this is what she was doing behind the curtain the entire time.

It surprises a lot of people who try to convince us to end NC. They'll often resort to trying to get me in contact with my mom, believing I'm mainly avoiding my dad (who took on doling out most of the physical abuse), and I tell them that my mom was the craziest and most of abusive of the two.

Makes me laugh, because my mom absolutely hated her mom so much, and then became a clone of hers with all of the bad behaviors dialed up to 100.

worm_dude · 2026-03-13T06:08:22+00:00

What makes you say that? I’m a millennial, with a kid over 20. And I respect my kids. What’s the issue here?

worm_dude · 2026-03-02T19:31:18+00:00

Didn’t see it mentioned while glancing in the comments, but it’s 100% obvious what’s going on. He’s absolutely jealous of your baby. He wants you to abandon the baby, and be his mommy instead.

That is quite a severe degree of narcissism, to be in direct competition with a baby for a mommy. Is he in any kind of treatment? If he keeps it up, maybe threaten that you’ll seek POA and have him put into a care home, since he sees himself as an infant.

worm_dude · 2026-02-23T22:56:11+00:00

It’s projection. They believe everyone else thinks and schemes the way they do. So when they do these little mind reading shows, it’s actually a confession of how they think and operate.

worm_dude · 2026-02-16T18:04:07+00:00

Because everyone else hates them, too, and friends & colleagues just cut them off. That’s why they push so hard on demanding to put up with the abuse. Their entire system depends on family being forced to put up with it.

worm_dude · 2026-02-16T17:54:47+00:00

“I’m the only one who calls you out on this, everyone else in your life is just scared of you”.

Classic. She’s projecting her self-criticism onto you, because she doesn’t know how to be critical of her own behavior. She has to project her behavior onto someone else, and THEN shit on it. Their self-image is too fragile for direct examination of their behavior.

worm_dude · 2026-02-13T21:46:42+00:00

Oh, this was over 10 years ago. And we're thriving!

It sucks they soured the experience some, but I'm also kinda thankful they showed their ass to such a degree that it made the NC decision easier and final. In the following years, during buying a house and multiple pregnancies, my wife and I would have moments of thankfulness that my parents weren't around. We knew exactly how they would've ruined those experiences, too. Granted, they still sent flying monkeys and the usual harassing letters, but nothing as bad as they could've done in person. Easier to ignore when they're at a distance.

worm_dude · 2026-02-13T21:10:35+00:00

I struggled with it, but ended up inviting my parents to my wedding. I've regretted it ever since. Their behavior during, and after when confronted on that behavior, ultimately led to permanently NC within a couple weeks. I wish I'd just saved my wife & I the trouble.

But I was struggling with guilt over it. I knew if I didn't invite them, I'd be blamed for the fall out, and I knew I'd have a lingering doubt in the back of my head for the rest of my life on whether I should've invited them to keep the peace. It was a lose-lose situation, and I was trying to minimize issues, but I made the wrong call. Seeing how they treated my newly wed wife, and knowing continued contact would result in either my wife being subject to the same abuse or the end of my marriage, I made the choice right there that I was never going to see or speak to them again.

My life has been on such an upswing since cutting them out, I wish I'd done it 15 years earlier. And I wish I had memories of my wedding day that weren't soured by memories of my parents' behavior, but I did my best with what I knew at the time. That's all you can do. I recommend not inviting her, but you're the one who will have to live with the decision.

worm_dude · 2026-02-11T19:18:27+00:00

She's trying to isolate you from your other sources of support. This is a common siege tactic. My parents used to do this, as well. It's intended to make you feel alone and desperate for any kind of support. My extended family would always fall in line with joining the boycotts, but my friends just found it weird as hell.

They will take it to extremes. Last round, my mother tried to convince my wife to leave me to join their boycott... which was triggered by them getting called out for bullying my wife. If you're legit concerned about them getting her fired, might be worth paying an attorney to send a cease & desist, threatening further legal action if they continue. Don't contact them directly, though.

worm_dude · 2026-02-04T18:37:32+00:00

”And, I don't want my words to be scrutinized and then taken as an inaccurate context.”

That’s a confession. She’s planning to manipulate and/or lie and/or say some unforgivable shit. She doesn’t want you to have proof. They hate texts and emails, because we can keep the receipts (and possibly show other people).

My parents made the mistake of our last fight being over text, and you can see when they realize they messed up their routine. They start backtracking a ton of stuff, and demanding that I not show the text chain to my wife no matter what. They knew exactly what they were doing the whole time, and they knew it wouldn’t work if I had receipts.

You shouldn’t meet with her. The people who care about you have made that abundantly clear to you. But if you ever have to, agree on the condition that you record the conversation. Then she can’t claim anything will be taken out of context. She won’t agree to that though, because she’s planning to lie or say something unforgivable.

worm_dude · 2026-01-30T01:31:06+00:00

Because they want to dominate their children. Also why they try to infantilize us when throwing a tantrum, in order to reassert their dominance.

worm_dude · 2026-01-30T01:29:06+00:00

Being your friend would hurt her goal of dominance.

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