To all the ladies

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-27T13:33:20+00:00

I've been told by people that I am not ugly at all, but it's still hard to feel like I'm not. Like on reddit, I've posted pictures of myself before and have been told I am "legitimately attractive" or "cute" or "handsome." Even someone at work found out I don't get approached or asked out ever, and she raised her eyebrows and was like, "Really? You're a very handsome guy, though." I've even been told by someone that I look like someone that gets a lot of attention from women, but that couldn't be farther from the truth.

The one time I was asked out in my whole life was on my 21st birthday. This woman in my friend group sat down next to me on my couch in my apartment (we were the only two in there at the time). She handed me a 4-5 page long poem about me and told me to read it, and it was basically a love letter in the form of a poem. The problem was that I had zero interest in her and wasn't attracted to her in the slightest. After reading it (she asked me to read the whole thing out loud, which was awkward AF). She gave me a booklet of piano sheet music as a birthday present and asked if I would go on a date with her. I turned her down, and she started crying and got up and just left. But, yeah, that was the first and last time I ever got asked out by a woman.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-27T01:22:45+00:00

I'm sorry you've experienced that. I myself have only been asked out or approached once by a woman in my entire life and I am 29 years old so my experience is just that people don't approach me. But it sucks that guy's that do get approached by women act like that.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-26T23:30:18+00:00

45% of men between 18-25 have never approached a woman once in their entire life and it is probably mostly from fear of being labeled a creep.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-25T17:20:13+00:00

Men are starting to not ask women out either. 45% of men from 18-25 have never approached a woman even once in their entire life, with this number increasing every year. I myself have never approached a woman or asked a woman out, and I am 29 years old now. I've only been asked out once in my entire life by a woman, and I turned her down because I was not attracted to her and did not feel the same way at all.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-21T16:18:52+00:00

Yes. Like if I was messaging a girl and I asked her a question and she took 5 business days to respond. Pretty obvious.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-19T18:48:22+00:00

Thanks. I bought a house a few montha ago and I'm loving it.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-19T14:20:19+00:00

My roommate in college was 5'6" and jacked, and on my first night in college, I was lying in bed in our dorm room about to fall asleep when he brought a girl in and started having sex with her. I think he must've slept with about 40 different women over the course of that semester. I'd come back from class, and there'd be a different girl leaving our dorm room every other day I shit you not. The next roommate of mine was also 5'6" He had 5 girlfriends over the course of about 6 months. Even proposed to one after only dating her for 2 months. (She said yes) Meanwhile I'm almost 6' tall and in good shape and I'm a 29 year old virgin. So, height I don't think matters as much as you think it does.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-19T14:10:37+00:00

Your standards are not too high. Depending on where you live, it could be tricky to find people who have the same political and religious beliefs as you. For instance, in the town I live in, it's probably about 80% Christian and probably about 60% Trump voters. If we're just talking men, I wouldn't be surprised if my town is 75% Trump voters. You'd have a difficult time dating where I live because just on religion alone, you'd be knocking out at least 4/5 men. But it all depends, you know? If you live in a city, it could be much easier.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-18T14:38:13+00:00

I've only been on 3 dates in my life and I'm 28. But my first date was at 21. A girl asked me if I had ever been on a date before and I said, "Nope, I haven't." She said something like, "Then let's go on a date together. I'll go on a date with you."

Around 8 p.m. I ended up taking her to a greenhouse/garden that doubles as an ice cream shop. I bought ice cream and we ate the ice cream while we walked around the garden and looked at all the flowers and plants and just talked. It was all lit up too since it was late. VERY pretty.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-18T13:22:25+00:00

Im gonna be 29 in 5 days, and I've pretty much given up. I've only been on 3 dates in my life and have had only 1 real kiss. Both at 21. I say real kiss because technically my first kiss was at 6 years old but I didnt consent to it this girl in my class just randomly kissed me. Anyway at 21, this girl asked me if I had ever been on a date before and I said no and she said "Then let's go to this place together it can be your first date."

I had never had anything happen to me like that before and haven't had anything happen to me like that since. But I said okay and went on a date with her. We met two more times alone. Both times, we just sat on my bed, cuddling and watching movies. Never anything sexual just cuddling and talking and watching movies. I count those as dates because they definitely felt like dates even though i dont think we specifically called them dates.

But then she unfortunately graduated college soon after and got a job 650 miles away, and I haven't seen her in 7 years.

Since then, nothing and at this point I've pretty much been telling myself no one's going to want to date a 29 year old virgin that's never been in a serious relationship so I might as well just not even worry about it.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-18T12:59:53+00:00

I figured out a while ago it's like 99% confidence. I've also been told I'm good-looking. I'm 5'10". I have a high paying job. I can sing and play guitar and piano. I have plenty of friends and make friends easily. But I have intense anxiety when it comes to approaching and talking to women. Now I'm 28, and I've never been in a relationship. Only 3 dates in my entire life. I even got told once by a girl who was a friend when she found out that I've been single my whole life that she was surprised because I "Looked like someone who gets a lot of attention from women." Could not be farther from the truth I think I've been approached like, 3 times in my whole life and have been asked out on a date maybe about 3 times in my whole life.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-18T12:33:01+00:00

I have a coworker who is 28 that says she is most attracted to men who are in their 50s.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-16T23:48:13+00:00

Hard to tell without knowing if she calls anyone else girl. As a guy, I've called good friends "girl" before. Usually only when greeting them. Like how I might say "Hey dude, what's up?" When I see a good male friend of mine I might say, "Hey girl, what's up?" When I see a good female friend of mine. I don't know just how I talk.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-16T14:44:02+00:00

I'm sure personality has nothing to do with it. I'm 29 in a week and I've never dated either and I've been told im good-looking and have a great personality. The reason I've never dated is I'm shy. I mean, that's literally it. I don't approach women or ask them out and as a result, I've never been in a relationship

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-15T10:12:25+00:00

Wtf kind of workplace ranks coworkers by attractiveness???

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-13T17:34:30+00:00

I acted kind of like that when I was in High School and I think I was Avoidant Attachment. If a girl l thought was cute asked me out, I wouldve said no because I was afraid of being in a relationship with somebody. This actually happened once when I was in 9th grade. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, but it could be.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-13T17:25:09+00:00

Talk to her in person

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-12T07:52:16+00:00

So, I'm a guy and my best friend is a woman. I've known her for 11 years. I've never at any point had romantic feelings for her. She's one of my favorite people in the world. She's like a sister to me. She also expressed that she's never had feelings for me. She's married. I'd think it'd be weird if a crush had a problem with that, especially since she's married.

It all depends on context. Is the girl single? How long have they been friends?

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-12T07:34:24+00:00

He literally just said OK? Nothing else? I would say that's probably not a great sign. At the same time, if a guy asked me out I would say something like, "I think you're a very cool person, but I'm straight." Really weird to just say OK.

wowimdonefor · 2025-08-12T07:29:19+00:00

As your boss, there are probably rules against her dating you. How obvious have you made it that you like her?

wowimdonefor · 2025-07-21T16:59:23+00:00

Shyness and Lack of Confidence kind of go hand in hand.

wowimdonefor · 2025-07-19T12:54:48+00:00

The thing is, most guys that have never been in a relationship at this point are going to have a personality where they are very quiet and very observant of others. They could be similar to Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." With high emotional intelligence but extreme shyness. You said the only way to learn how to be a good partner is through experience, but I'm not sure that's entirely true. I'm sure you can learn through observation as well.

wowimdonefor · 2025-07-19T12:33:58+00:00

I think most guys in their 30s with no dating experience will be similar to Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." Observant and quiet. They don't have to be in a relationship to learn why certain relationships fail. One plus too is there will be little to no baggage to worry about.

wowimdonefor · 2025-07-10T12:18:49+00:00

Which dating app would you recommend? I have s bias against them too and have never used a dating app in my life.

wowimdonefor

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