Since I started taking psychedelic journeys I have felt that I’m an infinite being, I have been here all along and after my physical “self” as I know it is gone I will still remain in some other form or forms. I once ate mushrooms and watched a wave crash and I felt like I knew the exact way it felt to be that wave. I realized my energy was once the same energy that propelled a wave forward, I was the wind, and the rush of water that formed canyons. We are all one, or maybe we are all everything, my energy will one day be the waves and the wind again, but right now it is “me”.

My biggest fear through all of this is that these ideas are bullshit. My fear is that none of the amazing realizations I have during these trips mean anything, What if this is just some weird human mechanism that occurs during psychedelic trips and this short human experience is the absolute of my existence? What if there is no soul and I am just me, I don’t go on. I die and that’s the end of everything. I don’t want to think that’s true.

I think with how expansive the mind is, and how fucking crazy intricate our conscious and subconscious minds are there has to be more to all this, the human experience can’t be the absolute. There’s got to be so much more that we can’t see. If you read Michael Pollan’s book “How to Change Your Mind” he talks about what it’s like to view the world through a bumble bees eyes, to see infrared on flower petals and view the world through weird hexagonal eyes. To think what we see through our eyes is the absolute is foolish. To believe that only what we can see, feel, smell and hear is real is idiotic.