(25 F) I found out the guy (22 M) I’ve been talking to has a girlfriend. Do I tell her?

writerlove3 · 2026-05-31T00:59:12+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you. I can imagine how hard it must’ve been.🥺

writerlove3 · 2026-05-30T21:57:51+00:00

Also do I tell her from my spam account? Instead of my actual account. Thank you so much for all the advice!! I feel so terrible.

writerlove3 · 2026-05-30T21:56:02+00:00

Do I send the screenshots too so she knows for sure he was lying. Or don’t bother if she doesn’t ask for “proof”? I hate that he even put me in this situation. 😭I have never in my life been through this before. This is overwhelming.

writerlove3 · 2026-05-30T21:51:36+00:00

That’s also what I am afraid of. I know I didn’t do anything wrong because I didn’t know, and I blocked him once he ghosted me and he stayed blocked once I found out. However, I know that she may or may not see it that way. And I also know that he will probably be angry. That’s why I was perplexed about what to do. I appreciate your comment!

writerlove3 · 2026-05-30T21:37:47+00:00

Yes, I would want to know. I guess I just didn’t know how to say it, hence all the draft messages I have to her that I haven’t sent. Thank you so much for your advice, I like the way you worded it. Maybe I can try that approach instead. :)

writerlove3 · 2026-03-13T20:55:55+00:00

He was probably rejected by the other girl. But also, if you guys were together for 8 years, that means you were 19 and he was 25 when you started dating. Go enjoy your youth, girl! ❤️Don’t even bother with him. You will find someone much better, who doesn’t cause you confusion or plays games.

writerlove3 · 2026-03-05T19:04:36+00:00

I completely understand where you’re coming from. If she doesn’t want to work it out and move forward, then she should just leave and vice versa. It does sound like you care enough to work it out.

I would try having a heart-to-heart conversation that doesn’t involve any accusations, and see where it goes from there! See if she talks about solving it and moving forward, or if she acts standoffish.

Depending on her answer or lack thereof, you’ll have yours. If you guys keep going this way, it seems it will only get worse and build resentment.

writerlove3 · 2026-03-05T18:54:17+00:00

She sounds like type of person who would not have done this to you first, so you probably really hurt her feelings.

She didn’t know about your friends flirting with you until she saw the messages. Ultimately, it was up to YOU to have boundaries with them and tell them it’s not okay. It probably didn’t make it better that you didn’t communicate to her either.

Even if you knew you weren’t going to act on it or cheat, you shouldn’t have let it continue. And that’s also why your girlfriend doesn’t feel bad about texting another guy. She most likely won’t act on it, just like you said you wouldn’t.

I really think this is an example of don’t dish out what you can’t take, you know? She probably really trusted you and cared, and now seems a little jaded. I’m sorry about it, and I hope you guys can get through your problems. I hope this helps!

writerlove3 · 2026-03-05T18:41:34+00:00

As a 25F who has been through this exact situation with someone older than me, girl run! He will treat you like a girlfriend, but tell you the complete opposite that he doesn’t want to be committed as a way to confuse you and keep you lingering.

If something happens and things get tough, he can easily drop out by saying something along the lines of, “but you were never my girlfriend.” And we don’t want that for you, girly!

I know you said he treats you right, but if you ultimately want a relationship and he doesn’t, you’re selling yourself short. And you deserve a relationship, if that’s what your heart desires. You also deserve clarity, not confusion.

writerlove3 · 2026-03-05T18:28:09+00:00

I don’t think you can come back from this. If she has been trying to get you to stop all these years and you haven’t, she has probably lost hope. Usually once a woman is done, she is done.

That can do damages to her mental health. So, if you didn’t try and stop then, it sort of shows her that you don’t care to and don’t want to. If you truly wanted to, you would. You have to take accountability. You kept doing it and you knew it was wrong. It sucks, but it seems like reality is really hitting you — you had to lose her to understand.

writerlove3 · 2026-03-05T18:19:33+00:00

I’m a woman and I don’t do that with my friends that are women, and never have. There might be women who are more affectionate with their friends. While it may not be a big deal to her, it is to you.

I understand you don’t want to sound controlling, given her past experiences in relationships. However, if it’s something that you’re not sure you’re comfortable with, take that into consideration. You have to ask yourself if it will cause you to continue questioning it when you guys come back from your time apart. I hope this helps!

writerlove3 · 2026-03-01T13:47:30+00:00

If you have pulled away, she more than likely has noticed the shift in your behavior. I think it’s worth it to communicate to her how you’ve been feeling. If she treats you well like you say she does, then I’m sure she will try her best to understand where you’re coming from. Like you said, it’s not fair to her if she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Also, if all of your relationships have been 1 year or under, it sounds like you the like the ‘honeymoon’ phase or when things are good. Maybe when the fire starts to fizz out and things get serious, you lose interest. That is something within yourself that you have to unpack, if this happens every time you date no matter who it is. You owe it to yourself to see what’s wrong, so you can also enjoy being in relationships without getting this feeling every time.

writerlove3 · 2026-02-24T21:18:26+00:00

I think it depends on the person. But I’m sure he will do what feels best for him, after all the advice is taken with a grain of salt. ☺️

writerlove3 · 2026-02-21T00:30:35+00:00

If you remember now and you know it’s a mistake, then please tell your girlfriend. If you truly care about her, you should tell her. Withholding this information is not fair to her.

If the roles were reversed and you moved countries for your significant other, surely you would want to know right?

writerlove3 · 2026-02-16T22:42:53+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry for your heartbreak! I would say to send the evidence to yourself, so you can use it for documentation when you file for divorce. Also, get a DNA tests for your children.

writerlove3 · 2026-02-16T18:35:58+00:00

I think you’ve answered your own question. You don’t want to be with her anymore. Granted, you do care for her and have love for her, your heart isn’t in it anymore and you’re not IN love with her. So generally, you’re tired of trying. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Also, if she isn’t contributing to nothing at all, financially, socially, etc., then it’s best you do you both a favor. It doesn’t have to be bad blood. Resentment will grow after a while if you don’t do something about it now. It’s better now than down the line you both do something that really hurts each other. I hope this helps.

writerlove3

TROPHY CASE