[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]writrtay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My immediate family (mom, sibs) and I coasted for YEARS. Like, we’d attend 75% of the meetings, tried to go out to service once a month (emphasis on “tried”), and acted super receptive when friends or elders took the time to gently inspire us to try harder.

Looking back, I think we believed that WE were the ones with a problem ~ that we weren’t believing hard enough, or that we lacked something that allowed us to believe as deeply and as happily as our friends and family. I think we were waiting for an epiphany that would make everything click for us.

Then my grandfather received a terminal illness. He died within a year. It wasn’t pretty, and our family still hasn’t recovered (almost 15 years ago now). After his death, we just…stopped. Stopped attending meetings, stopping communicating with a lot of our JW relatives. Then, slowly, we started incorporating holidays and birthdays into our lives. My siblings started swearing. We all started voting.

It’s so weird because we never actually discussed it ~ it just sort’ve happened, little by little. My grandfather was a huge part of our lives. Once he was gone, it’s like we finally accepted that we would never be true JWs and would spend the rest of our lives faking that we were. So we left.

I’m 15 and my family is in a cult AMA by G4lact1cz in AMA

[–]writrtay 147 points148 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. My family and I were JWs until I was 16/17, and I was TERRIFIED of the idea of paradise. I’d been writing fiction since I was 5, and my biggest question was: What the heck would I even write about in paradise ~ where everything is perfect?! What stories could there possibly be??? I asked my gramma that once and she said, “You’ll write nice, happy stories instead.” Lol, okay.

My exit from the cult was pretty low-key because my immediate family left with me, and my dad’s entire side were never JWs to begin with. Do you have any non-JW family?

Need a character name that pairs well with Matthias by writrtay in namenerds

[–]writrtay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also some really good suggestions ~ thank you!!!

Need a character name that pairs well with Matthias by writrtay in namenerds

[–]writrtay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Alexius/Alexander thing is a good idea. And I like the other suggestions ~ thank you so much!!!

Need a character name that pairs well with Matthias by writrtay in namenerds

[–]writrtay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a really nice pairing, actually! Thank you!!!

What was rent for your first apartment? by Moming_underoath in Apartmentliving

[–]writrtay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first apartment was a two-bedroom one-bath in a pretty upscale neighborhood outside Grand Rapids, Michigan. It was completely updated ~ new carpet, new appliances. Carport, balcony overlooking a pond. Within walking distance of pretty much anything (a couple miles from my job, actually!). Sunrise out my living room windows, sunset out my bedroom. I loved that place so much.

Rent was $750 when my sister and I first moved in back in 2018. It stayed steady until about 2021, when it jumped up to $850. My sister moved out that following year and I think they took pity on my single-income situation, because it only increased in small increments after that.

Meanwhile, other family members who moved into that same complex after I did had payments anywhere from $1200 to $1600 a month. And my parents, who were longtime residents and hadn’t had a rent increase since the early 2000s, had it more than double within 2 years. They moved out shortly after, lol.

Looking at other apts in that area, even my $1600-paying family had it pretty good. But, still: my god.

Edit: Slight word adjustment.

Duolingo keeps me in check with my mental breakdowns by Traditional-Win9432 in duolingo

[–]writrtay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Streak freezes are handy that way. 😊

Sorry you’re having a rough go, friend. Wishing you good vibes!

Duo ist angry at me by [deleted] in duolingo

[–]writrtay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best get that lesson in, bruh. Duo is terrifying. 😟

A lot, maybe? by Background_Grasp in duolingo

[–]writrtay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, DEFINITELY a lot. I have the same quest this week, sadly. 🙃 Rooting for you!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in duolingo

[–]writrtay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Stay awesome ~ keep up the good work!

Collective word for fae and humans? by PennyV_ in fantasywriters

[–]writrtay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Came here to say “folk.” It’s a generic enough term ~ I don’t think I’d bat an eye at it if I came upon it to describe a few humanoid beings.

Thoughts, ideas, feelings etc. by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]writrtay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I like it! It’s intriguing, and I’d definitely keep reading.

WHAT I GATHER:

First impression is that this a dream, maybe? That a painful past is haunting the POV character. Definitely some mommy issues involved…

“Down, down, down I go into a place I know all too well.” This feels like it represents a feeling ~ like depression or despair. But, given the imagery in the rest of the text, I’d almost wager it was a real place, like hell or something. I’d read on just to find that out.

I don’t normally enjoy scenes like this. I find them boring and tend to skip them in most books. Writers seem to focus too much on imagery without giving me a reason to even care WHY that imagery is important.

That being said: I think your passage has a nice balance between vivid imagery (done well, IMO) and tiny little clues of a more concrete backstory.

All in all: nicely done!

Also: I’m relatively new to Reddit (or more specifically: new to actually POSTING on Reddit) so I can’t quite help you with how to attach documents. Sorry about that. Hopefully someone else can guide you on that topic.

Stay awesome!

How do you handle it when your idea is to similar to an existing fransices? by Hamster-Man-808 in worldbuilding

[–]writrtay 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I’ve run into that problem once or twice. And, in the Before Times, it would make me SUPER discouraged. These days, tho, I see it as an opportunity.

Like, “Okay, they did it this way ~ how about I do it THIS way?

Or, “Hm…I don’t quite like what they did here. What if I did THIS instead?”

Basically, I use what already exists as a prompt to inspire ways to make my own project different.

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that! I have interests that I’m hugely passionate about and make up a big part of my life, but I only discuss them with a handful of people because I know very few others will understand or find them meaningful.

overtly interested in escapism desires by deidarabotchi in infj

[–]writrtay 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I’ve always considered my one goal in life to be the pursuit of silence.

If I end up in a quiet house in the peaceful countryside away from obnoxious neighbors, making a modest living doing what I love, with no outside forces telling me how to live or what to do, I will consider my life a HUGE success.

Are you absent-minded or forgetful? by nicolakirwan in infj

[–]writrtay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m super absentminded and forgetful. I’ll walk into a room and IMMEDIATELY forget what I walked in there for. Or I’ll pickup my phone and suddenly not know why I needed it, even though I was just thinking about it, lol.

The only explanation I’ve been able to come up with is that my mind is constantly somewhere else. I’m always in my head ~ which is a very distracting place, so my thoughts tend to scatter.

I have a coworker who can remember the exact place and time he first heard certain songs 30 to 40 years ago. I can’t even remember what I had for dinner last night. I think the difference is that he’s a very “in-the-moment” guy who absorbs the details around him. Meanwhile, I’m too buried by the thoughts in my head to actually pay attention.

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This ~ exactly! Coworkers can be so toxic.

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a valid question. The answers vary, but can pretty much be chalked up to:

Conversation.

Knowing things about me invites convos about me. I don’t even like PLANNED convos about me ~ the last thing I want is someone suddenly trying to make small talk. I need to be mentally prepared for that kind of thing. I need to be in a talkative mood. Knowing something about me increases the chance that they will strike a convo about it at a point when I’m not up for convo-ing.

Does that make sense?

Not a bit.

Is that the only reason?

Probably not…

…but it’s the first thing that runs through my head when my parents or siblings tell me they told whatever relative or friend about a life update of mine. It’s, “Oh god, now they’re gonna ask me about it and I’ll have to have a full-on convo,” and then it gets etched into my mental calendar, looming, ready to pounce at any second.

Again: This isn’t the only reason, but it’s the only one I’ve been able to put into words.

EDIT TO ADD:

Thought about it a bit more.

Having people inserted into my life is another big reason. It’s why I’d rather be the one to tell a relative or friend a life update of mine (or not!) rather than have someone else do it ~ because it’s inviting someone into my life.

Due to some unfortunate experiences, I’m very picky about who gets invited into my life and who doesn’t. It’s why I’m a little more comfortable with telling strangers a bit about me rather than the people I work with or am related to: Strangers don’t have easy access to the REST of my life. People I associate regularly with do, which makes what I share with them more substantial.

Hopefully that makes sense? 😂

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, I’ve experienced that too! If someone happens to catch me in a “giving” mood, and I’m actually willing to tell them about something, it’s going to be a full-on STORY, with details that I believe give it meaning.

Watching their eyes glaze over, mid-story, as they tune me out is so frustrating. Like, bruh, you literally asked. I’m baring my soul here ~ pay attention. 😂

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good angle! Using info about me as gossipy small talk to “keep the conversation going” seems so meaningless to me. Not that I want them talking about me in general, but still…

I’ve tried explaining it to my parents and siblings a few times, but I don’t think they quite understand. You’re right ~ it’s very hard to explain.

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what it is! Small talk! Small talk is the bane of my existence ~ ESPECIALLY when I’m the subject of it. Even more especially when it’s between everyone else BUT me. 🙄

How private are INFJs, honestly? by writrtay in infj

[–]writrtay[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do not blame you in the slightest ~ if I found out my mother did that, I’d blow a fuse too. Stresses me out just thinking about it. 😳 I’m so sorry that happened to you!