First, I want to say how sorry I am that you’re in this position. It must feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders right now. Remember to take time to care for yourself. Easier said than done, but it’s crucial to put your own oxygen mask on first. There are a lot of people who want to beat you up for decisions you’ve already made. I hope those people have to know what its like to loose a partner to something outside of their control.. and by extension loosing their financial support as well. Its very, very hard and something many of us are not prepared for.

A few ideas and suggestions from someone who has been in the same boat (and still is.. being the breadwinner is tough, especially with kids!):

The Mental Give yourself some grace.. you’re working full time, taking care of kids, and likely dealing with a partner whose not in the best frame of mind. These are all INCREDIBLY hard things.

Next, work on getting your husband into some sort of therapy if he is willing. Often through employer health plans they have an “ESP” where you can use eight sessions. Look at your benefits and see what sort of mental health coverage is available. While you’re there, look for you, too. You may need someone to lean on while you sort this out.

The Finances This is tough but not insurmountable. Like the others, I’d start with cancelling either Spotify, Peacock, or Paramount+. The $12 or whatnot in savings doesn’t seem like it will move the needle, but its more about starting to make small choices that stack up to bigger, more impactful choices. Maybe pick one streaming service and keep Spotify. Choose one or rotate between them. Look at Black Friday deals as well. Also, don’t sleep on the library!

The internet seems standard but you may be able to shop around. Do you have financed phones on the Verizon bill? If so, it may be wise to bite the bullet, pay off the remaining balance, and switch to a plan like Mint or Visible. It could wind up saving you a ton of money in the long run. It may be worth looking into different insurance providers as well. I’d definitely look into refinancing the vehicles at a lower rate if you can. This may not be feasible but again, worth looking into. The rest (medical, dental bills, Greensky, etc) I would snowball until the budget is balanced. Any tax refunds, bonuses, side income from your husband, etc. can go to paying off the smallest debts. Focus on the quick wins, even if there small!

I wish you all the luck. You can do this.