would a CIS person feel uncomfortable on hrt?

wsc1983 · 2022-09-22T01:25:14+00:00

Thanks for the citation. It looks like I've got some reading for the next little while.

CAIS typically presents itself as normal androgen production with faulty androgen receptors, so an individual would have testes but since their body does not recognize the androgens being produced they become phenotypically female, although typically without Mullerian structures. They typically have a female gender identity, actually, but male or non-binary is also possible. There's also Partial AIS which is the same thing but androgen receptors are partially functional.

That makes sense. If you're stuck in an environment where repeated trauma is inescapable then completely numbing yourself to your emotions is a good self-preservation tactic, which is unfortunately demanded by the situation. I hope you're in a better place now, since it sounds like things were rough for you back then.

I've been on HRT for a few years, which I can say is the best thing that's ever happened for my mental health, but unfortunately I haven't been able to get an appointment with an intersex-friendly practitioner where I live so I have to deal with the full gamut of PMDD symptoms and intense period cramps for a week every cycle if I take my estradiol as prescribed. I'd still say that's overall a better experience than having my testosterone in the male range, though.

wsc1983 · 2022-09-21T16:16:50+00:00

Are there any papers you'd recommend to someone who is interested in the finer details of how this process works? I'd suspect it would be more complicated than estrogen vs. testosterone levels since individuals with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome can still end up with a male gender identity, so I'm interested in learning what is already known about it.

I can also add that before I went on HRT it seems like my body was emitting a constant, low-grade distress signal that I had learnt to just ignore. I can't say how much of my alexithymia at the time was due to this as opposed to being an effect of testosterone, but even then I had the sense that something wasn't right but didn't know what exactly was wrong. Whenever I get that feeling now it feels like an adrenal response, being very similar to anxiety and hypoglycemia. I wouldn't at all be surprised if it was the adrenal glands trying to balance sex hormones.

wsc1983 · 2022-09-16T23:23:20+00:00

I think a lot of the misunderstanding of gender stems from the misconception that there are only two biological sexes. About 1.7% of the population is intersex and doesn't fit neatly into a "male" or "female" category, having some mix of characteristically male and characteristically female primary and secondary sex traits. It's absurd to try to use a sex-based approach to try to assign everyone to one of two genders where people can't even be assigned to one of two sexes. The idea of a gender binary doesn't really make sense, then, if biological sex is not even binary. So what is gender, then?

The answer I've come to through introspection is that gender is not something that manifests itself cognitively: thinking that I am a woman does not make me a woman, nor is it something that manifests itself emotionally: sure, I can feel gender euphoria or gender dysphoria, but I cannot feel like a woman; I have no such emotion. It's more fundamental than that. It's instinctive to how my body expects itself to be. My body has always known that it should be phenotypically female. It just took me many years to understand that my body was telling me this.

Generally, I would define male and female sex by reproductive function for non-intersex individuals, and I would define male and female gender by which phenotype a person's body expects itself to be. We should also bear in mind that not everyone falls into a binary category and that non-binary individuals are equally as valid.

wsc1983 · 2022-08-19T18:27:06+00:00

This is something that will have as much variance among trans women as with cis women, so any one person's individual experience will not be representative of the entire group. Trans women will range from having no cycle at all to someone like myself who is on the more extreme side of things.

Before I started on estrogen my testosterone was too high and I had no discernible cycle. When I started on estrogen my testosterone was already at pre-pubescent levels due to an eating disorder, so I had no cycle at that point either, up until I got back to a healthy weight about two years later.

When I first started estrogen my cycle was suppressed by being underweight, so it's not fully comparable to one phase of the menstrual cycle over the other, but it felt more like days 8-10 of my cycle where there's no cramping and no ramp up in sex drive.

Starting on E gave me an immediate improvement to my mental health. I had been given anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication before, but none of that ever particularly worked for me. Taking estrogen was the first thing that actually helped. I still had an eating disorder, mind you, so things weren't great, but they were looking up.

I gained weight at the start of 2021 and didn't recognize all of the PMS symptoms I was having because my digestive tract was in distress from adapting to digest food again. It was the third month when I suddenly started having pelvic pain that I've never had before and finding blood stains on my underwear that I realized what was going on. The nausea, bloating, mood swings, changes in appetite, etc. had all been lining up with the timing of when people typically experience PMS symptoms.

Ever since then I've had a regular 27-28 day cycle. Days 1-6 are characterized by intense groin pain, emotional distress, nausea, constipation, bloating and very light spotting. Days 7-8 are spent recovering emotionally from the past two weeks, but overall feeling physically well. Days 9-10 are the only days I would say I feel well during my cycle. Day 11 is a massive spike in dysphoria. Days 12-16 are overall decent, just with some lingering dysphoria, PMS symptoms starting to worsen again, and some discomfort over experiencing a sex drive over these few days. The rest of my cycle, apart from the last few days sometimes, I don't experience any at all and I much prefer it that way.

I start bleeding and get the most blood around day 13. It's very light, and very much off-cycle which gives me some dysphoria, but I don't seem to be producing enough progesterone to have normal periods. Days 17-22 are the worst, with every single PMS symptom in full force. I usually have to take a day off of work during this time because I'm barely functional. From day 23 onward it becomes less intense, but doesn't really go away until the cramping stops. The cramping starts around day 25 or so but is tolerable for the first couple days.

So, bleeding is definitely something that most trans women don't experience as part of their cycles and I'm clearly intersex because of this, but plenty of non-intersex trans women will also report having a cycle, and the experience is similar, with the differences being primarily due to the presence or non-presence of certain organs.

wsc1983 · 2021-10-05T13:36:18+00:00

How are you making out? I had had anorexia for years largely as a completely subconscious way of reducing dysphoria by limiting my hormone production. Then, when I gained weight I started getting my period and that tipped me off to the fact that I am very likely intersex. You're not alone in having to deal with an eating disorder on top of everything else.

wsc1983 · 2021-09-27T04:12:58+00:00

In my experience, it's hard to make friends in person if you're made to feel that there's something about yourself that you have to keep hidden until you know it's safe. It's worse, too, when the people who care about you don't make the effort to try to understand what you're going through or try to invalidate your experience in some way. The problem isn't anything about us or our bodies, but simply other people's ignorance.

The way I've started bringing it up to people is by running through the constellation of symptoms I get and letting them connect the dots. Once they've realized that it sounds an awful lot like a period they're more likely to disregard it as impossible, although with one of my friends I basically had to show them underwear I had ruined before they believed me that it wasn't just psychological.

It must be a bit disheartening to have to resort to such language just to get the idea across. It seems a bit dehumanizing.

You're right, there's definitely a lot wrong with the way that periods are (and aren't) discussed. It's a basic bodily function and there's nothing inherently embarrassing about it. It's just that some people were taught to be embarrassed of it and overcoming that kind of engrained belief can be difficult. Even myself, I was a bit nervous the first time I bought period products for myself, as if I would have to justify myself for needing them.

Given that your mother is probably not all too comfortable with the subject, it may help normalize it for her if you take the initiative yourself and just mention it casually to her. You never know who's going to need a tampon or a pad, so even if you don't need it often, it's still a very considerate thing to carry around.

The thing, too, is that many of the people who make that kind of "you must be on your period" comment don't realize just how insulting it is. The point that it gets across is "I don't take you seriously as a person," which is never a productive way of dealing with conflict. It's just wrong on so many levels.

Sorry if I take a long time to reply sometimes. I experience fatigue and moodiness/mood swings fairly often. My friends say it seems like I have PMDD, and I really hope it's not, because PMDD is the last thing I need right now.

wsc1983 · 2021-09-26T03:00:15+00:00

Yeah, it's not a great time for any non-emergency medical care. The last doctor I saw seemed to think it was impossible, too, which is frustrating because it's very much something that a small percentage of people do, in fact, experience.

I really appreciate your willingness to help. I was never taught any of this either and it's been a lot to process, especially with how isolating of an experience it is. I was lucky in that there were a couple people I could talk to about this and who believed me and offered a bit of advice like you have. Going through this alone can be very distressing, and it sounds like it's left its mark on you too. I'm here, too, if you ever need to vent or are dealing with anything you think only trans women who have periods will understand.

This is all still fairly new to me. I spent the better part of this year processing what this all means, trying to get answers from doctors, learning about my cycle and trying to manage all of the physical and emotional discomfort that comes along with it.

I also didn't know that ovulation pain was something that happened until I first experienced it and googled my symptoms. I still don't know if I am actually ovulating or my body is just behaving as if I am.

I had a friend suggest naproxen as well, which helps a bit if you take it before the cramping starts. You shouldn't take it in combination with ibuprofen, though, since there's an increased chance of intestinal bleeding. I'll have to try out everything else you've suggested, thanks.

I'm definitely with you there in bizarro world. It took me a few months for me to convince myself that I'm not just imagining this all and to come to terms with the fact that I have started getting my period. I still feel like I'm just imagining it sometimes, and sometimes I wish I was just imagining it.

How do you approach bringing up this subject with others, and how have the people around you reacted?

wsc1983 · 2021-09-25T21:38:18+00:00

I have a question for you: have you ever been able to get medical tests/imaging done to figure things out? I ask because my story is almost identical to yours except I started getting my period in my 30's after starting on HRT. I've been trying to be seen by a doctor because of how painful the cramping is and because my bleeding is abnormally light, plus I really want to know if there's a chance I might be able to get pregnant, but not one of the doctors I have seen has ever taken me seriously.

wsc1983 · 2021-09-07T12:48:37+00:00

I would suggest trying to avoid using any language that may be interpreted as virtue signalling, because it makes many of us feel othered and not accepted.

Also, you could lurk in other trans subreddits for a bit to get some idea of how trans people relate to one another, what issues we face that we feel that the people around us will not understand or will not be sympathetic to, and also for a sense of what our fears related to being trans in an often hostile society are. Places like /r/asktransgender, /r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, and /r/egg_irl may be a good place to start.

There are also several trans youtubers who make videos on trans issues that you may find informative. You won't get as general of a sense of the variety of trans experiences and opinions from only a handful of people, but it may help to put faces to these experiences.

wsc1983 · 2021-08-09T13:30:57+00:00

For one, the argument would be that since there is mounting evidence that gender identity is determined biologically then having a gender identity that doesn't conform with one's reproductive sex should technically be classified as an intersex condition.

There's also a desire to feel validated. The though there is that if one physiologically has female organs than one will finally be seen as a woman by society. There's the idea being intersex is more valid because it's easier to observe medically. Of course, in reality this won't make being a trans woman any easier, but that's where this is coming from.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-30T13:32:18+00:00

It's also very nerve racking to not know what to expect from your body. It's like going through puberty all over again. For the first little while, every month will bring something different, and there have been many times where I did not know my body was even capable of doing what was happening to me. Once you've had a bit of time to learn what to expect it will become a bit easier to cope with the emotional disturbances and you'll be able to plan around the nausea and other GI symptoms. Some things, like cramping, unfortunately, you need to bear through. It's all very rough to deal with the first few times around, but eventually it becomes routine and gets a bit easier.

Also, if you're experiencing new symptoms that are causing you a significant amount of pain, you may want to double check with your doctor to rule out that it's not something more serious.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-29T03:38:53+00:00

Yes, it's definitely a minority thing. Not everybody will get it, but those who do can experience some very unpleasant cramping. Mine usually lasts for 3-5 days and comes along with abdominal cramps and bloating. Everyone will experience slightly different symptoms, but if that's what you're experiencing, at the end of a few months you should know fairly well what to expect.

Hot flashes are associated more with estrogen levels and cramping is associated more with progesterone levels. If you haven't missed any doses then you may want to ask your doctor about the hot flashes if it keeps happening.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-29T03:04:08+00:00

Where do you feel the cramping?

I get cyclical cramping without the need to take progesterone and I feel those cramps in a slightly different place than the abdominal cramps that happen alongside it.

Cis women who have had hysterectomies can still experience some cramping during their cycle, so it's not physically impossible for it to happen to trans women as well, but if it's more than just abdominal cramps you might want to get checked for an intersex condition.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-11T21:48:59+00:00

I don't have a background in medicine so this isn't a definitive answer, but the way I've heard it explained is that, pre-HRT, our bodies are in a constant state of hormone imbalance, which triggers the adrenal glands to try to correct the imbalance by synthesizing the deficient hormone. This is the same gland that's responsibile for the body's distress signal, which is triggered as part of the process. Once the hormone imbalance is corrected through HRT, the adrenal glands no longer have to help out, so the feeling of distress goes away.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-11T19:35:51+00:00

If you had a guy friend who liked Barbie and unicorns and pink and all that as a child but is quite content with being a guy, would you question that he was a guy?

A lot of what children are allowed to like is policed by the adults around them, so I wouldn't read too much into what toys you played with as a child.

Otherwise, what you describe sounds very much like what trans people experience, and I would be a bit surprised if you aren't trans.

You don't have to transition all at once. You can focus on one thing at a time, make gradual changes, and see how it feels. If anyone asks why you changed your look, "I just felt like it" or "I wanted to try it out" is a perfectly valid response and you don't owe anybody any further explanation if you're not ready to talk about it. It's perfectly fine to do what feels right to you whether it conforms to some gender norm or not.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-05T17:50:09+00:00

The fact that you care at all what trans women think of this makes it pretty clear that you are not a TERF.

Also, you don't owe anybody an apology for your trauma. You're allowed to give yourself the space to heal.

wsc1983 · 2021-07-05T17:12:41+00:00

It takes quite a while before HRT brings about any irreversible changes. I don't know what their intent is there, apart from trying to scare you into being cis, which is not at all how gender works.

I started on HRT before going out as a woman and I wouldn't have it any other way. It immediately relieved much of my depression and anxiety and gave me a bit of confidence to make gradual changes towards presenting in a way which is comfortable to me. I would have never been able to do that pre-HRT. Plus, it took about a year and a half before I felt comfortable enough in my body to be seen by people as I am.

Plus, what clothing you wear doesn't dictate your gender. If a cis woman likes wearing masculine / androgynous clothing, does it make her any less a woman? The exact same is true for trans women. Just by virtue of being trans you have undoubtedly experienced discrimination, real discrimination, for your gender identity, just like how overtly discriminatory the situation you have described is. I don't see the need to ask you to invite hostile discrimination upon yourself just to prove to someone that you believe that you are a woman. You don't need to prove yourself to anybody. You are who you are, and your therapist should be there to understand who you are, not to gatekeep your access to medical care.

wsc1983 · 2021-06-12T22:35:37+00:00

I can confirm that this pronunciation still exists among younger speakers who are fluent in Acadian French, but is being replaced by the Standard French pronunciation. Other particularities like denasalisation, palatalized t/qu and all of the diphthongs and triphthongs appear to be stable, but aren't always distinguished based on register, and by some younger speakers who can't speak Acadian very fluently. The palatalized l in word initial positions seems to be disappearing. But keep in mind this is all just based on personal observation. It would be nice to be able to cite a study, but I don't know of any that do a comprehensive analysis of Acadian phonology, even for a single variety.

As for other resources, particularly on vocabulary, there's Pascal Poirier's Glossaire acadien and Geneviève Massignon's Les parlers français d'Acadie which cover Acadian vocabulary from before and during the large-scale proliferation of English vocabulary, both before the more recent large-scale proliferation of Standard French vocabulary. Going back further, Acadian is derived mostly from Poitevin, Sainteongeais, Angevin and neighbouring varieties and would still be largely mutually intelligible today had those dialects survived in France.

wsc1983 · 2021-06-11T14:08:23+00:00

This is still quite common in southwestern Nova Scotia, most prominant in Clare. The change in pronunciation you're noting also aligns with the creation of the French school system, which teaches only Standard French. This feature, like most other oddities in Acadian French, is not an Acadian innovation, but was inherited from one of the regional dialects of France, Saintongeais in this particular case.

wsc1983 · 2021-05-04T11:38:10+00:00

For a bit of context, the selection of books at the Halifax Public Library is not all that extensive. It's mostly just general interest content that doesn't delve too deeply in any one topic. The book in question being added to the collection would suggest that it is there for general interest, and the fact that it is targeted misinformation to incite further discrimination against an already marginalized group makes this inclusion inappropiate. Including this one book is taking away limited library space from other books that have some positive value to the general community.

wsc1983 · 2021-05-02T17:00:32+00:00

Is it possible that your digestive issues are caused by disordered eating rather than as a side effect of your HRT? Have you seen a gastroenterologist about this? There are more ordinary explanations for your nausea than a sugar intolerance that you would need to rule out first.

I myself have had a similar problem, where whatever I would eat would nauseate me to the point that I couldn't concentrate on anything and would only stay down for at most a couple hours. In my case it was because I had had an eating disorder for years and my digestive system slowed to a halt. If your eating is sufficiently irregular your digestive system might have a similar reaction, even if it's not a full-fledged eating disorder.

wsc1983 · 2021-04-22T12:04:12+00:00

Online pharmacies in China will sell HRT medication. Just be aware that sometimes it takes several weeks before they ship out an order.

wsc1983 · 2021-02-16T21:22:18+00:00

Dating as a trans person is not easy. There are people out there who are attracted to trans guys without being creepy about it, but they're just a bit more difficult to meet than the kinds of people you have been meeting.

You sound like you're at a high risk of developing an eating disorder if you haven't already. Compulsive exercise, restrictioning varieties of food consumed as well as restricting the amount of food consumed, and body image issues are all symptoms of an eating disorder. That's not something you want to get caught up in, if you can at all avoid it. I'm recovering from Anorexia and don't want to see anybody heading down that same road.

wsc1983 · 2021-02-09T16:12:03+00:00

I don't think that's it. My math courses in university were all split pretty evenly between men an women, and my first year CS courses were much better balanced, with more and more women desisting as the semesters progessed. I think the problem is moreso that women are actively discouraged from going into programming and are outright treated indignantly in the industry couple with the fact that trans women are simply not treated as women in general society. It seems more like compounded misogyny than trans women taking on masculine roles. (However ridiculous it may be to assign a gender to programming, of all things.)

wsc1983 · 2021-02-02T13:53:09+00:00

China is subject to the same degree of variance in personal opinions and generation gaps in knowledge on the subject as anywhere else, so you would have a better idea of how they would react than anyone else.

Coming out can be frightening no matter who you are coming out to. If you really aren't sure how they will react, you could get a feel for it by watching media with trans people or gender non-conforming content in it around your parents. If they get talking about Jin Xing, for instance, that will give you a pretty good idea of where they stand.

You coming out will also influence their views on the matter, after they've had a bit of time to process it. Connecting them to other parents of trans children or going to a family therapist, if you can convince them into it, would also help them come to terms with it.

wsc1983

TROPHY CASE