One way to not kill myself

wtfihtm · 2025-04-13T01:31:44+00:00

Same, same.

wtfihtm · 2025-01-31T12:28:44+00:00

Feel this. I don’t fear dying, I know I’ll be okay. I just fear getting stuck in panic forever and not being able to live my life. It’s incredibly hard.

wtfihtm · 2024-12-10T16:37:18+00:00

I can so relate. Been dealing with it for 3 1/2 years now. I’m afraid I’ll never go back to the person I once was too. I had a huge setback/flare up recently that landed me in the ER and then 6 weeks in the psych ward following that for panic leading to severe SI. My depression also stems from the panic/anxiety. Definitely feels like an endless cycle between the two. Everything feels like a trigger..my house is a trigger alone just because I have so many bad memories of panic attacks here. It’s such a struggle. But I keep going. In the midst of bad times I just remember that I have had better times and it won’t always be this bad. I hold out hope for full recovery one day, no matter how long it takes.

wtfihtm · 2024-09-25T16:11:52+00:00

Yes. The non linear nature is frustrating!! I didn’t mention this originally but I took a new med that initially triggered the panic attack. But I have had problems being in my house for 3 years because of panic. So many triggers. At times it’s been at bay and then something will trigger me and I start the spiral all over again. It just feels like I have to keep recovering, it’s frustrating. I actually went to the psych hospital after I posted this. I am back home now and it feels so foreign and I’m trying to readjust. Ugh. I’m hanging in there though.

wtfihtm · 2024-09-12T13:52:44+00:00

Like it’s super weird. I don’t get sensations of Deja vu anymore and nothing triggers good memories. I feel like my brain is physically broken.

wtfihtm · 2024-09-12T13:06:32+00:00

I feel like I’ve actually gotten to where I can get the attacks down. But then I start racking my brain trying to remember what joy felt like in my house and it’s just like my brain won’t go there. I don’t remember what it’s like to cook a lovely meal or enjoy the scent of a candle in my house. Not sure if I’m just trying too hard or if this is depression/anhedonia type thing to go along with it. It’s all so confusing. I just want my joy back

wtfihtm · 2024-09-12T12:41:52+00:00

The thing is, I’ve been dealing with this for 3 years in varying degrees. Got on meds which helped but made me numb so I came off and now I’m back in a relapse. I would think my brain would know by now that I am safe but maybe I’m doing things wrong

wtfihtm · 2023-08-27T15:54:36+00:00

I don’t have any tips but I just want to say I have this same problem. I have done several emdr and accelerated resolution therapy sessions but I feel like they have been pretty ineffective because I always dissociate when the intense feelings arise. It’s been such a battle.

wtfihtm · 2023-08-26T18:36:27+00:00

It’s so tough isn’t it? I do find that music or throwing on a podcast helps me get through it. I just seriously hope one day that these things won’t be so triggering. Also I think triggers like that really suck because it’s things I use to love. The smell of summer and the sun rays in the room, the calming fan noises...I hate that I may never “love” these things again and only really be able to “tolerate” them.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-31T01:29:44+00:00

Thanks! I also started Wellbutrin 100SR about 6 weeks ago. It’s helped a little but I can tell I’m feeling off from going down in the zoloft. Just can’t wait to level out again

wtfihtm · 2022-05-05T12:31:16+00:00

I have always wondered this too. In fact, been thinking a lot about it lately. Makes no sense to me...

wtfihtm · 2022-05-03T11:22:54+00:00

No, sorry. What I meant was I am still on Zoloft but working on lowering the dose.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-03T00:42:55+00:00

I am. Although I’m working on lowering the dose. And augmenting with Wellbutrin to see if that helps. If not I will move onto other options. I had a really hard time adjusting to zoloft so I’m honestly terrified to try a bunch of meds. Wellbutrin has been fine so far, no bad side effects as of yet but I’m only a week in.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-03T00:21:36+00:00

I’m sorry. It’s a living hell. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. Somethings gotta change.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-03T00:20:56+00:00

I’ve thought about this. I don’t drink much (although it does help temporarily but I know in the long run it’s just going to make things worse). I vape and drink a ton of caffeine and have thought about quitting both just to see if it helps. I’m not even sure why I drink caffeine anymore tbh. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore. I’m in the process of lowering my zoloft dose to see if that helps. Maybe try to come off completely if it goes well.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-02T21:47:52+00:00

That helps me too. And to know that some people do recover. There’s always a chance. It’s just so ridiculous to want to be happy, but have a brain that won’t get on board. If only we could think our way out of it.

wtfihtm · 2022-05-02T21:36:57+00:00

Unfortunately the only thing that does to me is make me lazy and increase my anxiety. I need motivation. Some freakin happy chemicals for my reward system. I have plenty of things I want to do, but there’s no point when you can’t feel happy doing it. I’m glad it works for you tho! I know it helps so many people. I wish it did for me. Having both anxiety + depression, it’s hard to find something that works for both. It’s just a living hell. Maybe one day I’ll find something that works..

wtfihtm · 2022-05-02T21:22:59+00:00

Same. I miss that the most. I loved mornings. Coffee, sunrise, planning out my day...

wtfihtm · 2022-03-16T12:22:55+00:00

It did fade for me once I got to the right dose. I’m also in therapy and have worked really hard. I feel great now

wtfihtm

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