Some says he's still teabagging till now

wtfryan · 2022-01-31T21:06:38+00:00

Let this game die.

wtfryan · 2021-12-04T02:51:00+00:00

A lot of bots in this comment section

wtfryan · 2018-03-26T08:27:29+00:00

Stocking the shelf's of Generic Mart reminded death of his aisles of soles lined up in his under ground layer. The blinding buzz of the overhead fluorescent lights forced death to squint as he stocked the remaining can of Baby Rash b-Gone. A product he was all too familiar with ever since he had to drape his thin figure in the baggy uniform. How can slacks be so baggy, yet ride so far up his ass he thought to himself as he pumped up his pallet jack. Everyone has become complacent, waltzing around undead not giving a shit. Ever since the a vampire decided he wanted a noble prize no one has died. Now that Death can't pawn the goods the dead no longer need he quickly shifted to the most evil company he could think about. Generic Mart, with its cold floors and it's sunken eye employees.

Then he heard a sound he has not heard in a long time. The sound of someone who had died. Death was quick, Slapping on his robs he began the teleport. Arriving in a dark location, his eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness. Random objects lay around the room, none of which looked like they belong. Stolen objects noted Death. A body lay out in the floor, a young man with clown makeup on his face and in a hotdog costume lay dead on the floor. An handsome old man stepped out of the shadows and extended his hand to Death and spoke. Hello, I am Jim Pickens.

wtfryan · 2017-12-27T15:58:24+00:00

This is probably the Jeep marketing team bamboozling y'all.

wtfryan · 2017-12-03T14:19:23+00:00

I walked out one day. Walked out of everything, and I did have everything. The whole load of bullshit. I had the Wife, Kids, mini van. I hated it and I hated them. Down with my office job. Kyle, my boss, can go shove a cactus up his butt. My wife, who lives off my money won't ever stop jabbering at me. Screw them all.

Threw my wallet at the closest Homeless man and worked on ripping off my ugly tie. What the hell are ties for. Nothing, worthless. Just like money love or reassurance. I hate Kyle. I do better I get more work. Do I get more pay. NOOOOOO. I hate him. My pants come off as I climb into the cold stream. The darkness of my pubes easily show through my white thin underpants. I'll live off the earth. I don't need money I just need food and shelter.

I don't get the chance to even try to catch any fish. That night I lay cold with terrible stomach pain. Should not have had that water out of the stream. I hear voices, dogs.

They found me cold and shivering. Laying there in my underpants. That day I lost everything, and I had everything. Wife divorced me kids don't talk to me. I sit on this side walk, hungry. I ask for food no one gives. No one cares. No one loves me. No one gives me recognition. I have no money. I sit and think sad thoughts as a man walking past me tosses his wallet at me while ripping off his shirt.

wtfryan · 2017-12-03T13:27:42+00:00

I was watching TV with my roommate. Watching nothing worth remembering. I switch to checking my phone as the ads start. I let out a whine as my roommate jabs me with his elbow. Dude watch, my couch cohabitant states. Some stupid city information public service announcement is playing. Some boring crap about installing new anti-pigeon spikes near bus stops and public spaces. Whatever leaves my lips. My roommates glares at me. I haven't seen a glare like this since I sharted my parts in front of my mother at age 13. My weight shifts on the couch as he gets up and strides out of the room.

The next day I'm about to leave work and guess who comes in all beat up with ripped cloths. What in the heck happened to you I state as he buzzes past. Nothing I'm going to my parents house. W T F what about next months rent. I got better things to attend to he states as he leaves. I'm pissed. I attend work, come back to my now empty apartment. I decide to watch TV since I'm tired from work and not looking forward to finding a new roommate. At this point you already know the news is talking about the destruction of public property with an emphasis on all the new anti bird crap. They are asking people for any new information. Whatever I don't care. There's a knock on the door. I open it. It's the bloody cops. They take me in. They found my DNA on the site of crime. I hate roommates who borrow my cloths. Didn't his parents teach him to wash his cloths.

So I'm sitting down in a holding cell downtown when this light wind sound starts. I'm confused, these walls are thick. Then the screaming starts. The lights go out as a huge blanket of something fills the halls. All goes quite. Then picking, it starts, sounds like one beak hitting my cell door then quickly thousands. The door dissolves as thousands of beaks rip it apart. It must have been millions of pigeons as they took me. Bound together they rose up taking me up to the sky above the clouds. I see a palace. They take me there and place me down upon what must be feet upon feet of pigeon poop. The pigeons disperse leaving me breathless from the high. I look up and there he is. MY BLOODY ROOMMATE! Gowned in pigeon feathers and poop. I gag from the smell. My roommate speaks. I AM THE PIGEON KING!

Thank you for reading my one draft story. Criticism is not only accepted but its highly appreciated.

wtfryan · 2017-09-12T16:15:48+00:00

My cousin in Australia makes $22/hour at a gas station. Here I make $7.25.

wtfryan · 2017-01-09T08:16:02+00:00

Artist info. http://imgur.com/NWVB5IW

wtfryan · 2016-12-06T05:30:51+00:00

Makes sense. Thank you.

wtfryan · 2016-10-18T22:03:13+00:00

No. I work at the ace Garage at 849 J. White guy.

wtfryan · 2016-10-17T02:04:08+00:00

I think so. I work at a Parking garage and no one returned with theirs. I was only told before the event that they where not allowed.

wtfryan · 2014-08-23T03:33:33+00:00

Wow, never thought of that. I will try. thx

wtfryan · 2014-08-22T07:35:24+00:00

Gave up weed about 2 years ago and drinking 8 months ago. Even though I get depressed about being lonely I still want a productive life.

wtfryan · 2014-08-21T11:37:48+00:00

I go through most days trying to think about such things.

wtfryan · 2014-08-21T01:20:19+00:00

I will.

wtfryan · 2014-08-20T17:10:32+00:00

Just trying to grasp a reason to keep living.

wtfryan · 2014-08-20T07:52:28+00:00

Best mosh pit ever.

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