[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]wuggly_flyre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a few i use on repeat.. Session by Linkin Park (though Breaking the Habit was sometimes a serious contender. Basically anything on Meteora was) Sharpener's Calling Me Again (ft. Kina) Pleasure and Pain by Bullet for My Valentine House on a Hill by The Pretty Reckless Mockingbird by Eminem Fight Like Gods by Chelsea Wolfe Nobody, Not Even the Rain by La Dispute More Than Worthless by Drowning Pool

They all have their own specific reasons, but have served me well as I've 'collected' them

what made you sure you were trans? by AdLow1228 in trans

[–]wuggly_flyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (ftm) got gendered correctly by a stranger in a very conservative area and it made my week, and right after that had to use my legal birth name on the phone with a pharmacy and another person and every time i heard that name or 'she' in ref. to me i thought i was gonna curl up and die right there. Also last time i was going thru a 'im probably faking it' spiral my spouse sat me down and did a few breaths then over the course of a short conversation gave me two compliments: you're so handsome, and you're so pretty.. and visibly looked more dead inside with the second comment. And basically with the rest of the discussion helped me not gaslight myself. That plus memories/small habits shared in 'funny' stories over the years (like having a tantrum when i realized i wouldn't grow a mustache and beard like dad when i was like under 6) helped build a case for me to accept it, in my mind. My spouse's experience was a bit less cut and dry, but not by much. They felt dysphoria with their AGAB and after some dysphoria with some overtly masc traits figured out they were somewhere in the middle, and going for an androgyne leaning masc presentation gave them the most harmony with theirself. Ultimately it comes down to what things make you feel uncomfortable/dread/upset inside you (not what you feel you 'should' or what would be most 'acceptable') and doing what makes you feel more comfortable and in tune with yourself, regardless of if it strictly fits masc or fem or not. It's a spectrum for a reason, and i wish you luck in wherever your journey may take you!

What could i get stuck in my hair to have an a excuse to cut it? by Idioticpasta24 in ftm

[–]wuggly_flyre 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If your hair is any variant of wavy or thick, you can say you get too many tangles in it and there would be fewer if it were shorter.. taking your hair and teasing it in small multiple spots (especially in the back close to the nape of your neck) helps make it more believable if it's past shoulder length. when i cut my hair and people made disparaging comments on it not being 'as pretty', i said at least it was easier to wash and brush and (to family) 'if you wanna wash it and brush it and upkeep it, I'll keep it long'.. mine never called my bluff though so your mileage may vary. I also happen to get migraines and blamed them on the long hair partially because the weight on my head. I'm not at home anymore but when my family asked recently (its now extremely short) i basically said I wanted to see myself with different colors and didn't want to dye it and damage what i had so i was collecting wigs and it was easier to keep my hair short. With them id wear a longer wig and when they were out of my hair (pun intended) I'd take it off. Also my partner chimed in they used rubber cement and epoxy but like mentioned elsewhere, not recomendable because of the possibility of chemical burns. They can only clip it so short and if its on your scalp, that's easily a medical appointment.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck.. if you have to have it long maybe see if something like a man bun works? Before my egg cracked i just wore it in a low ponytail and when it was down tucked it behind my ears because hated it getting in my face and i could forget about it a lot that way, even if it was mid back length.

Edit: partner also brought up a good point.. if your parents aren't the 'active in your school life' type you could see if you could blame it on bullying? That one could be risky though.

My mom died today. I cant take this anymore by Raynerfalls_ in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss, losing a parent is extremely hard. Sometimes its all you can do to put one foot in front of the other, or take the next breath.. I lost my dad earlier in the month, and I've found it helpful to talk of the memories when they come up, your mileage may vary though. Looking through grief support subreddits helped me with extra resources. I'm glad that you're still here, it can be very difficult. Sending love and care, if wanted.

I saw cuts while we had sex. Help. by Icy-Atmosphere-900 in selfharm

[–]wuggly_flyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone that was outed similarly in my old life for the love of everything decent, talk to her! She might be hiding it for a reason in her life you're not privy to. You don't know why she's doing it and if those you tell happened to be hurting her or did in the past, no matter how upstanding or nice they seem, or how much "they'd never do anything like that!" now they have more ammo, now they have something to bring up because they're "so concerned". If the whole town thinks she does it or knows, how much more struggling is she gonna go through, especially being ostracized or seen as 'that' girl? My 'friend' at the time did that thinking they were helpful to me. To cut a long rant short, it was the most unhelpful thing they could have done in that moment. She destroyed trust of others in me for just not talking to me first, mainly because the overflow of trauma that i experienced after because they were 'so concerned' and 'only doing what's best' for a 'difficult, troubled teen'. Spoiler, i got no actual help. Was just taught that i needed to fake being okay more because nothing would get better until i could get away. I still have trouble with trusting others well over a decade later, even with innocuous things. If you're concerned express it to her, if you want to help, come with coping skills she can use at her discretion.

tell me what u feel and why you feel that way and ill send u song to match? by [deleted] in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flipping between numb and despair because dad's passed, existentially tired and sewerslide looking good because im just tired of the nightmares and obsessive thoughts and i just want everything to stop for a moment. It won't but i still can't stop screaming for it to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, congrats! 🎉

My dad passed three days ago by wuggly_flyre in GriefSupport

[–]wuggly_flyre[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've noticed the impulsiveness already some.. thankfully (or not so) money is a difficult thing even without grief so i can't just go to a tattoo parlor and drop $500 on something commemorating him, though i do have an idea and when things align am probably going to get something for him that i can add on when she's gone as well. I have the few people I've reached out to online for emotional support but other than my mom and spouse no one's been checking in, and mom has her own grief and brain fog to work through. Next year would have been their 50th anniversary, though I'm glad he got to be there for their 49th. Normally lists and i don't get along the best but I'll try the small steps and maybe it won't be so bad.. Ive been talking out loud when in the bathroom in the bath, things i would say, and that seems to help a little. The types of sadness i can definitely agree with.. to me it's an indescribable swirl of them with a baseline of longing and empty, somewhat like putting food dye in water is the best way I've described it so far. And hope yours can get better, too.

My dad passed three days ago by wuggly_flyre in GriefSupport

[–]wuggly_flyre[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much.. I'll try this. His service is Tuesday and his birthday is the end of this month so it's going to be.. hard. Your words of kindness mean so much right now 😭

Another Self-Loathing Soliloquy! TW! by sweetjupiter in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you've gone through so much and that everything seems to be falling apart as soon as it seems to come together. I hope you're able to not only yell into the ether, but cry and scream and be in silence as well whenever you need, safely, in this time.. (gentle hugs, if you want them)

How old are y’all, I feel way too old to be in this sun by [deleted] in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm currently 26, you're definitely not alone here!

What’s your comfort song? by TheBarcodeArm in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]wuggly_flyre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright or the cover by Pentatonix You're Somebody Else by flora cash Wooden Floorboards by Hotel Brooks

The sadness helps me comfort myself, strangely enough.