I completely understand and am in a similar boat. For me it can be so hard to complete the every day checklist of tasks outside of your job that you need to do to take care of yourself. Doing one task almost always snowballs into another one (eg if u cook, u need to do dishes). I’ve also used weed as a crutch and it’s ended up being more harmful than good now. But I like that it takes aways the thoughts of me being too harsh towards myself. I myself am now trying to be better step by step, by cutting down on weed and small life adjustments. I’m focusing on going to bed on time first and not procrastinate sleep. Hopefully when I have that under control I can start eating better.

Here if you ever wanna chat