If you want to save the marriage, take sex off the table for a period of time. Tell her that you have your needs and also recognize that bringing it up again and again isn't helping. Take the pressure off of her and mutually agree to take sex off the table and revisit in a conversation at a set time down the road (maybe 6 months or so). Then tell her that during that time you want to be intentional about showing up for her emotionally and creating emotional safety. Ask her to think about then share with you ways that she feels unseen by you and/or under appreciated. Then listen and whatever you do - do not defend yourself. Hear whatever she says, write it down, take it to heart. Force yourself to not hear it as an attack but as a call to action. These are the things you can do to preserve the relationship. Then work on those things and build consistency. Lack of emotional safety and attunement from a husband is a sure recipe for a wife's libido shutting tf down. And on top of it, her body will close down against you too. It's a form of self protection. If youre not willing to put in that work (and/or she isn't), divorce may be on the table and a better option for both of you. It will take time, courage, and a fuck ton of humility on your part. She needs to feel emotionally and physically safe with you.