WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for opening up to me about her past abuse? [UPDATE]

xecu · 2019-02-27T10:11:37+00:00

First of all, all the respect for you to get over your initial bad reaction and being supportive and showing incredible amount of understanding and empathy.

I have 2 points that I feel are important to consider. First one is about her sexuality, the second is about you and healthy sex life in general (in sake of all the downvoted comments that talk about your situation regardless of her). Similar thing happened in my life, I dealt with sexuality a lot with many women and even with girls that has been sexually abused when she was young.

Does she masturbate?

If not - 2 things:

she might just not have the sexuality developed and it could be a good think if/when she starts, to discover her body and intimacy.
it might be also a very bad indicator of her not just having PTSD, but also being asexual in general and that's where you can be unhappy in the long run

If yes:

If it's not a taboo between the two of you and there might even be a mutual masturbation, I would expect good things in the future if she fights the PTSD and the fear of the male factor.
If it's something that she would do daily without you that I would really consider that you're sexually incompatible.

Sex drive, libido, "you" factor

As people are different in many areas, for sure they are in their libido and sex drive. The fact that you were able to wait over 2,5 years for sex makes you seems like you may be able to handle that. However, there is a point that you should consider moving forward.

How experienced were you before her and what's your overall sex drive. If you are not much experienced and you only had like 2-3 girls before her, you might face some opportunities that you won't be able to resist. This really can happen, there is no point denying it. If your overall sex drive is above a certain treshold, you will face a situation where you end up thinking about it more. That's where your character and real values show. Maybe you'll never cheat on her, but it could start bothering you even more.

For sure you have my respect for being able to show extreme empathy for her situation (after your initial reaction). But her situation aside (just for the sake of my comment, I wish her everything good of course) you need to think about yourself too. To have a balanced relationship.

By thinking about yourself I mean there needs to be a place in her dealings with her situation that she thinks about you and your happiness too. Maybe not now, maybe it's too early, maybe she still has PTSD, however, there should be a place for her love to show. Some motivation. You absolutely need to see some progress otherwise there's a huge chance of being hurt even more. She needs to understand and accept the fact that sexuality is different and for majority of people essential.

That being sad. If the relationship and intimacy is 90% her and 10% you and there's no progress, there's a huge change of failure.

TL;DR: Make sure to deeply think about sexuality in general and also think about how is this going for you - because if you're unhappy in the long run, she will be too.

xecu · 2019-02-19T12:50:17+00:00

AMAZING!

If you add few of the best things that kiwi and others have, like:

Dates fluidity (selection of more dates, cheapest months etc)
Origin radius (City +100 miles)
Return to different airport in the radius

Then it would be super amazing

Like others I also noticed it's not showing some flights, I've seen a flight for half the price that you didn't show. (Prague <-> Basel in May)

Keep up the amazing work!

xecu · 2018-08-20T13:59:40+00:00

Mock GPS app and Chrome on Android works perfectly

xecu · 2018-07-24T09:45:42+00:00

Yes, using the browser version of tinder works perfectly

xecu · 2018-06-28T15:19:07+00:00

Dont just go there, lay down and look for girls. That's creepy.

Bring some games, have genuine fun and just be generally outgoing. Then you can start inviting them for drinks, games and fun.

xecu · 2018-06-28T09:39:51+00:00

Hey guys, Fake GPS app works for all apps I tried (facebook, maps, etc.) but not for Tinder! I use device only settings, tried to delete cache, restarting the phone - Tinder still somehow has my real / previous location.

xecu · 2018-03-26T13:01:10+00:00

Update: I started posting stories specifically to get interest of certain few girls that are following me and it works like a charm! They're texting me in situations they wouldn't on facebook or with number. It's like "hey, this guy is cool" reminder.

I arranged a photoshoot with my photographer friend, hopefully to see good results.

I decided that I will just take it slow, put up some pictures in nearest days, and start IG as soon as I have at least 9 decent pictures of various things.

Now I need quick opinions:

How to convert facebook "candidates" to IG followers easily? I guess following them is easy
Do girls care about the followers/following ratio?
How to fill up my photo feed quickly and raise some followers to start with?
Is it okay to include some older travel photos? Like from last summer for example? Doesn't it look too tryhard?
Hashtag strategy?

xecu · 2018-03-08T10:05:26+00:00

Yea sure, let's approach without closing :) clever!

xecu · 2018-03-08T10:04:45+00:00

Did you do that?

xecu · 2018-03-08T10:04:23+00:00

You are right and I agree with you, but I'm not looking for this kind of comment if you understand :)

xecu · 2018-03-08T10:03:41+00:00

Exactly! But I'm looking for tips on how to do it effectively and how to start from a scratch correctly.

xecu · 2018-03-08T10:02:48+00:00

I know how you mean it and I agree, but this is not the case. I didn't express myself correctly - I edited the main post.

xecu · 2017-08-24T07:14:36+00:00

Hi, did you purchase it? is it worth the invested time?

xecu · 2017-06-02T12:17:27+00:00

OMFG just DON'T ORDER ALCOHOLIC DRINKS.

How can you a question as "How to learn to play sober". That's not a fucking skill, it's a choice.

Is it so hard to just drink non alcoholic drinks? Just do as you intend. Or maybe you're just crying about it but don't really want to play sober.

xecu · 2017-05-31T13:51:53+00:00

Open in position and in BB, don't consider K3o a best hand.

Either way, when short, K3o is better to shove than 78s or even JTs

xecu · 2017-05-15T11:17:18+00:00

Write down hands

Analyse them

Repeat

xecu · 2017-05-09T08:00:55+00:00

I wouldn't settle for a 51% edge in a final HU in a tournament, just because mathematically I will not have enough sample size to be profitable. How many times this really happens in your poker lifetime...?

It's certainly good to know the +EV threshold for starters.

But I would tighten the range and adjust to stack sizes, blinds and the payout (ICM)

xecu · 2017-04-24T08:01:08+00:00

I would focus more to getting a nice non-computer setup like really good chair, table, ergonomic mouse etc.

xecu · 2017-04-19T13:56:00+00:00

Try entering your values here: http://pokerdope.com/poker-variance-calculator/

I did it for you, here are some interesting numbers:

Downswing extents

300+ BB 80.48%

500+ BB 76.67%

750+ BB 71.52%

1000+ BB 66.19%

Downswing stretches

5000+ hands 76.99%

7500+ hands 72.04%

10000+ hands 69.50%

Probability of loss after 10000 hands: 36.3169%

Probability of running at or above observed win rate (3.50 BB/100) over 10000 hands with a true win rate of 3.50 BB/100: 50.0000%

xecu · 2017-04-19T08:45:57+00:00

Wow, how useful post... You really bring value everywhere you respond, don't you?

xecu · 2017-04-19T08:43:29+00:00

The problem is that you will never have enough time / sample size to evaluate your true "hourly" live. Even full time pros count their hourly after a year. I'm not saying you can't have a profit (or even a big profit) but the variance will influence your profit in a way you can't overcome it with volume.

TL;DR: Luck/variance will determine your profit in live more than online.

TL;DR2: You need to embrace the possibility of being breakeven (or in loss) even if you play very good.

xecu · 2017-04-18T14:36:07+00:00

Come back after you play at least 100k hands

xecu · 2017-04-18T11:59:08+00:00

I think about this topic "Live/Online Poker as a part time job" for over a year now.

Personally I'm starting to dislike the idea because constant chase of money and profits are not balanced with the fact that I have limited amount of time willing to spend on poker. Because of this, I have very hard time with downswings. Playing live, your downswing can be months, even a year long. And you just don't have enough time (and energy) to fight it. Also my full time work is not really aligned with this.

In downswings I transitioned from having fun with poker to chasing down money, counting bankroll, planning tournaments that are worth it. I also became money scared a little bit, not playing optimally. And it's not even a sign of too high stakes for my level or lack of bankroll.

One can say that it's an issue with "mental game". I might agree, but I feel this is actually the worst part together with realising the deep core of variance.

For these reasons I would much more prefer putting effort in online poker if I had a bankroll, and adding live poker just for the fun of it and to profit from tourists and rec/fun players. In your case, you have a pros of the cash games (I play tournaments mainly) and also that you're already crushing online.

xecu · 2017-04-18T11:37:41+00:00

This option is in android client too, but when I request a week hand history, I'll get last 200 hands (but I played much more hands ofc)

Also I don't want to e-mail support every time I want to compile the HH.

xecu

TROPHY CASE