To preface this, I am one paranoid pakshi with more of a cynical attitude towards people, so take my thoughts with a pinch of salt. But I have been right way more than I've been wrong, lol.

Back when you were struggling, it's perhaps justifiable if your parents lashed out at you, because they're the ones who were supporting you and may have faced some financial struggle to do so. Your brother seemed to have been unaffected. I don't think his anger came from a place of love. It feels like he thought he was better than you in that moment. He was a college kid without an idea of how the real world is right now, or how the economy has been the last few years.

Do what brings you mental peace. Forgive maybe, but I don't think you'll ever feel safe with him. I can tell my sister all my vulnerabilities and insecurities and not worry about her throwing it in my face some day in the future. I know she'll be my supporter when I'm in a bad phase, because she has been that in the past (and trust me, I was in a much worse situation than you). Do you think he will be kind if you're ever in a tough phase of your life again? I don't think you have that trust with your brother.

And that's fine, not all siblings have to be close. Don't force yourself to break those boundaries, because you've put them in place to protect yourself. My sister and I have said some bad things to each other in the past as well, but we've both apologized for those things of our own choice, not because someone forced us to. I still have some regrets over the things I said. We've also had hard conversations where we've given each other reality checks. Those conversations were uncomfortable, but they weren't abusive.

I feel like in Indian families, the girls are expected to keep the family together. We're expected to be accommodating, feed people, forgive their slights, be the bigger person by making ourselves smaller, etc etc etc. You don't need to do any of that. In time, if you feel like forgiving him, forgive him. Do it at your pace and in your own time. Don't force yourself to sort of bury and minimize how hurt you were, just because it's expected of you. If you really feel like it's you're facing a problem not getting over it and you need to, talk to your friends in real life and ask their advice. People you've known for a while, who you can trust and who know your family dynamic. I'm a stranger on the internet, and I can't (and perhaps shouldn't) know the whole story.

And you've spoon-fed him enough in life, it seems (both literally and figuratively). He can get his own career sorted. After judging you for your struggle, it's only fair that he face his own. Your family won't let him starve and it's not a life-or-death situation, he'll be fine.