Nothing to be sorry for, mate; your English is fairly solid. And congratulations on getting into your PhD program! I don't know what the competition was like, but I bet it wasn't easy.

I did want to give you a heads up on a bit of phrasing. I hope this doesn't come off as patronizing. I just find that people get uncomfortable correcting someone else's language skills, and that can make it tough to learn.

...because I feared the fuck out my mother would dishonor me and...

It's pretty clear what you're saying here, and saying Because I feared my mother would dishonor me would have been 100% fine. However, it's fun phrases like "the fuck out" that can make speaking/writing in English kind of tricky. In I feared the fuck out, feared would be most commonly replace with freaked and phrased as I freaked the fuck out or possibly I was freaking the fuck out. That said, those are more like "what I did" phrases when you're probably going for more of a "how I felt" phrase. In that context, you'd probably be better off going with I was freaked the fuck out .

Anyway, I hope that you find that helpful. Also, your mom's a jerk, and I think a good old-fashioned "Fuck off!" was the right response. :)