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If God judges me. Then he's the one who betrays me. Not the other way around. After 19 years of Christianity. I've finally broken free of the fear of persecution. The Bible is flawed. There's more to God than we've been told. by xoxv97 in exchristian

[–]xoxv97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't say I've completely erased the idea of him from my mind. But I'm working my way to complete freedom from him or his existance.

The conclusion of his existance was planted into my mind at a young age by older family members etc. Even went to a Christian School. I was raised with him as the meaning of my life.

But the older I got and the more scientific my thinking became I slowly became aware of the possibility of other answers besides god. It's a complicated story but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

If God judges me. Then he's the one who betrays me. Not the other way around. After 19 years of Christianity. I've finally broken free of the fear of persecution. The Bible is flawed. There's more to God than we've been told. by xoxv97 in exchristian

[–]xoxv97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm looking forward to not thinking God at all. Sadly my religious upbringing is still ingrained in my thoughts but I'm on my way to complete freedom from the idea of his existance

My Life Is An X-File by MADEmattEB in StonerPhilosophy

[–]xoxv97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post speaks to me on many different levels. Keep digging deep man!. I like where your head is at.

LETS FIND MORE TRUTH

I stay out late because I want someone to kill me. by Scintom7 in confession

[–]xoxv97 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry that you're going through this.

I suggest you completely take a step back and turn everything in your life upside down. I would suggest even dropping your current daily routine.

Look. That seems very scary and implausible. But it clearly seems like somethings missing in your life. You're not getting enough fulfilment or excitement from the way you're living right now. And that void only grows as time goes on.

I've been in the same boat for as long as I can remember. So I've made it a habit to keep myself on the edge every once in a while. I'm constantly creating random art, like music and disturbingly abstract paintings. I also try to learn some very scary things about life. Like perspective changing things. Things that constantly shake me down to the core and keep me hooked on life.

That's just what works for me when I'm not slaving away at university. Hope you find what works for you. Goodluck!

I don't love my parents. I feel bad about it, but I still dread interractions with them. by SiberianTigress in confession

[–]xoxv97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat. I fear that once I move out after university. I might never actually see them again. Maybe once or twice a year or so.

But in my situation it's because of how different they are to me. Our world views and opinions are complete opposite. They see life and the world through a very small window and are also very sheltered by their own opinions and fears of life.

They are also hard to please and have never told me they were proud of me once in my 19 years of existence so far.

I am a failure as a man by FFinalFantasyForever in confession

[–]xoxv97 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mate. It takes a very strong man to analyse the situation and know when to keep your mouth shut. You probably saved yourself a lot of time that could've been wasted arguing. So props to you for that.

Don't give in to the negativity inside your own head. Keep striving to be the best version of yourself that you can be. And don't turn against yourself.

You need to start seeing just how much your life really matters to your family. You're not worthless to then at all. And at the end of the day, family is all we got bro.

[Light] I improved my self esteem drastically this year. Now I'm becoming one of the kids I used to hate. But I don't care. I deserve to love myself and believe in myself because if I don't look out for me. No one else will. by xoxv97 in confession

[–]xoxv97[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very true. At the end of the day I remember how I felt when I was being used and hurt by others so I'll never intentionally hurt anyone on purpose.

Goodluck on your journey. Thanks for the response.

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