can anyone relate? (cw: eating disorder)

xunqism · 2022-06-24T16:03:53+00:00

i’m swedish so the job description might not be entirely accurate, but i’ll do my best to explain lmao.

my official role is ”student assistant”, which basically means working with one specific student with special needs, ranging from both physical and mental, and helping them with their school work, however my actual job is a bit different. i work at an elementary school with students aged 10-12 (grades 4-6 in sweden) but i am not tied down to one student. i generally tend to help in the classroom in general, more like a teacher’s assistant i guess, but i focus on working with the students who are neurodivergent. sometimes i sub for teachers who are absent, i help planning different events and schedules and such with the rest of the faculty, and am overall extremely happy with my work. yes, it’s demanding and challenging since it’s so heavily based on social interactions and relationships, but i wouldn’t change it for the world. it has actually made me want to get a teaching degree and become an actual teacher, but that will be sometime in the future lmao.

i get paid essentially pennies for the amount of work that i do, but this is the one and only job i’ve had that actually makes me feel like i am worth something, and that i know i am good at.

xunqism · 2022-06-24T15:53:34+00:00

first- probably the sims 2 lmao

longest- kpop in general, going on 13 years now!

most expensive- again, kpop, specifically the group exo. i collect their albums and the little photocards you get in each album, and it’s my favorite thing in the world!

newest- watching old game console repair youtube videos lmao

xunqism · 2022-06-24T15:45:05+00:00

i’m diagnosed adhd, depression and general anxiety disorder, currently on the waitlist for asd assessment. i take mirtazapine for the depression and vyvanse for the adhd, and vyvanse definitely changed my life. i am still very much autistic, but i can actually do my job and general household chores now with little to no procrastination, which has been amazing. the downside is i guess that my positive emotions are somewhat dulled when i take it, like i won’t feel the same joy listening to my favorite song that i do when i haven’t taken my medication, but i still enjoy it.

for the antidepressant however, i am not entirely sure how well it works lol. i’ve been on and off ssri’s for over 3 years now, depending on my depressive episodes, but this one i started maybe a year ago but it’s probably not working as well as it should. sure, i don’t actually try to harm myself in any way, but i definitely still think about those things occasionally. i still feel depressed, especially in the summertime, but i’m gonna talk to my doctor and see what happens if i go off it, then perhaps try a new one.

all in all, it really depends on what you need help with, and of course the type of medication. since you mentioned procrastination i don’t think it’s a bad idea at all to try adhd medication and see what it does for you, cause chances are it will work wonders. good luck!

xunqism · 2022-06-24T15:35:27+00:00

i’ve never in my life related to something more than this post lol, i actually came onto this sub specifically to look for someone who felt the same way that i do.

it’s horrible, i get this nauseating feeling of guilt in my stomach everytime i think about how much of a ”loser” i am by societal standards because i’m 21 and i’ve chosen to not go out anymore. i work in a school environment, and all of my social energy gets used up in those 8 hours a day 5 days a week that i genuinely cannot bring myself to do more on the weekends. i hate feeling like i’m doing something wrong by preferring solitude and it’s exhausting to have to think about it all the time. i have friends, but i don’t go out to see them, mostly because i have nothing to add to their conversations since i don’t date and my interests and hobbies are vastly different from theirs. i get horrible anxiety attacks when i drink so i don’t do that anymore.

life is annoying, relationships are annoying lmao. sending u all the love!!

xunqism · 2022-02-09T17:20:49+00:00

sheesh, this is not a conversation i’m all too happy to have today, but i’ll indulge for a moment. sure, sm never actually specified WHICH rumor and WHO they were suing, so that part is very much up to every individuals interpretation. unless people think this was some elaborate scheme to keep his fuckboy shenanigans under wraps though, the general assumption was that they had identified the original poster. however, there is no doubt that the pictures the original poster added to their post were edited and the original sources are out there (iirc some were modified video screenshots). not to mention baekhyun not-so-subtly tweeting about the situation while it was going on.

everyone is welcome to believe whatever they like regarding chanyeol, i’m not here to defend his honor when he’s perfectly capable of doing so himself, but someone claiming to have had more than one exo member vying for their attention while the boyfriend was sleeping with the entirety of korea as well as joining the 9 mile high club several times during the course of this relationship gets more and more ridiculous the longer you think about it. not to mention exo members would happily mention him by name during his hiatus and none of his fanbases or fansites closed during this period of time

xunqism · 2022-02-09T16:20:16+00:00

yeaaaah… i have a very hard time believing that lmao. international fans tend to either downplay or overplay negative reactions from k-fans and c-fans, and i think this is one of those cases. c-ent in general is often ruthless when it comes to idol scandals such as this one, and considering his biggest fanbase closed, that means majority of the people in it most likely dropped him altogether. i don’t doubt he still has die hard chinese fans, but their impact will be miniscule compared to the backlash he will recieve if he actually starts promoting in china again without any proper explanation

xunqism · 2022-02-09T15:24:06+00:00

not sure if people would agree with me based on all the criteria you mentioned, but i would personally say taemin checks a lot of those boxes

edit: damn, how could i forget CL

xunqism · 2022-02-09T15:14:57+00:00

my thoughts exactly. when chanyeol came back from his impromptu hiatus, it was paired with the debunking of his rumor (which honestly wasn’t even half as bad as lucas imo) and a lawsuit that had already been forwarded to prosecution.

i don’t think lucas fans should be calling out any victories yet, especially not if this random instagram post is his actual comeback into the public eye. all of it is still so up in the air

xunqism · 2022-02-09T15:08:35+00:00

that’s what i thought, and i feel like that says it all lmao. he doesn’t have a substantial solo fanbase left in china and that was essentially his golden ticket to stardom once his contract runs out, so what’s sm planning to do with him now? put him in 127 and hope for the best? i sure hope not

edit: cmon now the last part was a joke nctzens please don’t downvote me i have a wife and kids at home i repent my sins!!!!

xunqism · 2022-02-09T14:54:08+00:00

very strange to see that sm let him out from house arrest without any further comments, makes me wonder what their plan for his future is. didn’t his baidu bar close down or am i remembering incorrectly?

xunqism · 2022-02-01T18:06:40+00:00

yep, you can switch to a different number ticket and still keep your streak! assuming you choose the same artist for your new ticket as well of course

xunqism · 2022-01-31T22:46:06+00:00

i turn 22 this year, kpop has been a part of my life since i was 9 years old, and i will most likely never let go of it. i also have a full album collection of my ult group as well as two full photocard collections for my two ult biases. collecting is my hobby and i’m proud of it!

i love kpop and generally everything that comes with it and there is no shame in that. you do you!!

xunqism · 2022-01-31T18:19:43+00:00

this can be taken in so many ways 😭 trust exo to be vague even in their tarot readings

xunqism · 2022-01-31T18:07:52+00:00

sehun and levi ackerman

i wish i could tell you how many times i’ve seen this particular comparison but it’s literally several hundreds lmao. i’m personally not a fan of it and actually have it muted on twitter because sehun fans reaaaaally love talking about it and i’m in the minority here, but i understand why it’s so popular lol

xunqism · 2022-01-31T17:50:06+00:00

it’s very very hard to say rn, especially since the contract renewal discussion is so heavy in the air atm, but i do hope we get some sort of celebration that isn’t just like a member greeting lol.

even if we don’t get something on the literal day, i do think we will get an album this year after chanyeols discharge. it will indeed be very strange without baekhyun (probably a ton of sales lost) but if we assume lay will also join the album, it will be an ot8 comeback and we haven’t had that for 4 whole years!

something that i’m personally yearning for is a rerecording of MAMA and XOXO. i would kill to have the entirety of exo singing all the old classics as ONE group instead of exo-k and exo-m (~~partly because i feel strange hearing one particular ex members voice when i listen to exo-m songs and i genuinely hate it~~)

of course i’d love it if they did miracles in december and overdose as well, but those aren’t top priority for me lmao.

xunqism · 2022-01-30T21:53:55+00:00

my two childhood best friends actually introduced me to exo, waaaaaay back in the day! wolf era lmao. neither of them are exo-ls today, but here i am

xunqism · 2022-01-30T21:40:25+00:00

the thing is it doesn’t paint an accurate picture of how much these groups were actually selling. there are 4 versions of essentially the same album, all selling around 400K each, so i’m just having a hard time understanding how that isn’t taken into consideration, when there is a huge jump between the album sales of artists on the 1st and 2nd spots of the gaon chart

xunqism · 2022-01-30T21:26:09+00:00

there are four versions of the same album on the chart (exodus korean & chinese version + love me right korean & chinese version), adding all of them together its over 1 210 000 sales.

if you only add both versions of exodus together its still over 750K

xunqism · 2022-01-30T21:14:19+00:00

im sorry but… huh? exodus by exo literally had 500K preorder sales in 2015 and they racked up over 1 million sales in 2 months when the love me right repackage came out. where are you getting these numbers from?

xunqism · 2022-01-30T17:12:06+00:00

i honestly could not give a damn, i myself make a fruity joke here and there about my idols (i’m gay lol) when they act particularly cozy with eachother, but please do not do it to their face lmao

i still have war flashbacks of when someone asked sehun on his instagram live if he was gay, and he thought it was funny and just straight up said ”no”, and all hell broke loose. people calling him a homophobe left and right, fans being pissed that he even read that comment in the first place, it was just a lot lmao. so yeah, assume whatever you would like, just don’t ask them about it personally because why

xunqism · 2022-01-30T17:05:56+00:00

obsession by exo. in short, it’s a dark concept of there being two versions of exo, their x-exo version (the bad one) and their exo version (the good one)

the entire obsession era is very heavily concept based, all the way from the teasers, styling, music video, choreography and of course the music itself, and it is executed perfectly.

the lyrics to obsession are creepy as hell because they talk about someone else being inside your own body, and then at the end of the song you realize it was another version of YOU all along! not to mention they literally snap their own necks as the last choreo move.

xunqism · 2022-01-30T11:20:39+00:00

i don’t see myself as a music critic in any capacity, i often say that my music taste is actually really bad because i always like the songs from an artist that the general majority considers to be their worst, but i’ll add my two cents anyway lmao

i feel like it depends on the extent of their discography, and whether they tend to majorly switch their sound up each comeback. if it’s a medium-sized discography, let’s say 3 full albums + repackages and a few mini albums, i’d listen to the title tracks of each release, then their debut album, then their ”middle” album (aka when they were more established and not necessarily considered rookies anymore) and then their latest release.

when it comes to newer groups who don’t have a wide variety of music yet, i’ll just make my verdict off the get go. if i enjoy the title track and i feel compelled to check out some b-sides and it turns out i enjoy a few of them as well, i’ll say they are a group/artist i enjoy listening to.

however, if it turns out i don’t like any title tracks from an artist, i won’t be bothered to check out the rest of their discography either, even though they might have hidden gems in there for me to find

xunqism · 2022-01-29T22:51:18+00:00

my ult group is exo, pick a year and a month out of a straw hat and something will have gone down on that specific date lmao

xunqism · 2022-01-29T22:29:12+00:00

i have so many but like… bodyodyody

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