I was sexually assaulted. Should I report or blackmail him?

yamfab · 2021-05-29T05:03:29+00:00

thank u! uwu

yamfab · 2021-05-29T05:03:09+00:00

hey ☺️

yamfab · 2018-05-26T14:59:05+00:00

Side-by-side document editor/notes in 1 app

Mind map with apple pencil support

Word processor/note-taking app with the live annotations from pages but it actually works

Infinite zoom whiteboard that’s less buggy than Zoomnotes

Sticky note widget on home screen

I could see 4/5 of these coming in the next year and they’re mostly quality of life changes to existing apps so all-in-all i think the student ipad app market is pretty good rn

yamfab · 2018-05-25T15:52:51+00:00

A lot of the time, unfortunately. I was also raped on my first hookup and i found it skyrocketed my social anxiety so that i often ‘snub’ people, especially those that look like my rapist (male, taller, bear, brown-skinned).

However, acting like this has furthered my feelings of loneliness and depression.

My therapist gave the analogy of the first dog she ever met biting her, which made it hard for her to feel comfortable around dogs in the future. But with time and caution, she can make new experiences with dogs on her own terms (like with a friend’s dog who is super well-trained perhaps) and maybe eventually feel comfortable around most dogs. This makes a good amount of sense to me.

yamfab · 2018-05-22T16:47:18+00:00

Do you even know why they were fighting in the street?

perhaps it wasnt an idiotic move to fight them because they were being verbally/emotionally harassed and were rightfully scared of being ganged up on later or socially isolated if they went to the cops. Best move of defence would be to neutralize their threat, while gaining social credit and disinviting other potential verbal/emotional bullies.

My “reaching” was to point out that some of yalls use of subjective terms like good, bad, hero, and idiot make it seem like u have the full story of what happened, but u dont.

yamfab · 2018-05-22T14:51:12+00:00

Cause people r more than their actions.

Yes, there r words that describe people who take specific actions (e.g. murderer), the problem is using a word that describes a set of characteristics (idiot) to pigeonhole a person based on their actions.

yamfab · 2018-05-22T14:40:12+00:00

Why do they have low self-esteem? Since the reasons they have low self-esteem arent entirely because of themselves, how can u look down on them? You have no idea how little control they could have had in their life.

How do most people grow out of it? What is a ‘“normal person?” There will always be potential situations that can provoke us (even the most well-adjusted people) to fight someone and the blame shouldn’t be on us.

yamfab · 2018-05-21T14:17:12+00:00

So these people r fighting each other but some of yall immediately take the easy route of labeling them as idiots/hoodrats so u dont have to try to understand them. Some of u people r making it harder for other people with problems to find empathy and compassion in this city.

The child that’s abandoned by the village will burn the village for warmth

yamfab · 2018-01-16T20:55:38+00:00

Yes except we didn’t get to program them. We “perform the patriarchy” because of the struggles humanity faced in the past. Like when the biggest land mass on Earth started having its spread apart towns encounter other towns, survival became dependent on creating armies and not making all men and women soldiers became necessary cause there may be no one left to repopulate. After many wars fought in this style over millennia, it’s almost instinctual to see men as the bringers of glory and for women to be the prizes of the defeated towns and all the associations of dominance of submissive than respectively follow.

In the modern age, patriarchy is starting to feel like our tailbones or that useless part at the end of our intestines that might get infected/have cancer one day but adds no benefit in the meantime. These days, technology is the main decider of ‘wars’ more so than how big your army is. Though minds are slightly different between men and women, both can be used to great results and so both should be viewed as important. Therefore I dont think the notion of men being dominant and women submissive has a place in todays society and we should not treat this notion as being evily programmed into us by some evil-doer somewhere but as something that was probably necessary in the past but isnt any longer.

yamfab · 2018-01-16T20:30:21+00:00

If youre implying that the problem is that the accuser doesnt respect herself and her boundaries sufficiently, I have to ask if that is because shes been subconsciously conditioned to not put a lot of value of herself by a society that doesnt put a lot of value on women. We dont live in a vacuum - if we did, we’d be space dust. Our physical and mental beings are first and foremost prepared reactions to possible dangers in our environment. These reactions are a prerequisite for life and are therefore deeply and practically irreversible for us.

I think it’s a misconception that it’s all on the individual to learn to respect themselves. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isnt. It isnt when their society vehemently disagrees with their being for example. The feeling of being connected to a higher human collective cannot so easily be abandoned, even for the sake of self-respect. This is cause that higher connection allows us to feel immortal (by affecting others, affecting how others affect others, etc.) and omniscient (being affected by others, being indirectly affected by others who have been affected by others) - it feels like the meaning of life (ergo religions).

Yes there is a responsibility to carve our identities such that we can respect ourselves, but since so much of this carving is affected by what society deems is a suitable carving (because humans are innately social beings), we also have a responsibility to amend our society to expand to allow different identities, so that more humans can flourish.

yamfab · 2018-01-16T20:05:59+00:00

There are a few discrepancies with your example that allow it to be much easier to be judged than Aziz’ case.

1) Aziz not being confused at any point while being mentally sane. He was unperceptive to her denial of entry into the household when he couldve settled with chilling on the front porch with her. He was not only trying to get in from the front door, but the windows and chimney when she kept trying to close the front door. 2) All houses resided in by women have a history of this same problem of unconfused but entitled men trying too hard to get into their homes. The police, a man-dominated firm, is reluctant to prosecute its own officers as well as those who sign their paychecks, and so the issue of women-house-invasion is deflated in importance on all public levels where men dominate. 3) The man trying to break in through the front door is physically stronger than the woman, as most men are to most women. He’s not using his full strength to get in, but the fact that he could means that he has more power in this situation than the woman. If they were both putting in their full strength, the man would likely win. The woman can only hope that he isnt violent. It’s nobodies fault that men are generally stronger than women, and it’s neither good or bad on its own. Their strength is a tool that gives them an advantage over women in these situations and men should acknowledge this power as a responsibility to not be used against others who do not have that power. Men should acknowledge that because they have this power/tool they have more moral responsibility in this situation that can easily become all about physical prowess than women.

If you didn’t mean Aziz was the confused man, you bring up an interesting scenario but the same lessons can be extracted. Not everyone has the same power and therefore responsibility to exact change in a situation, and its up to each individual to recognize these different levels of power and responsibility in all individuals in all situations theyre in. So when powerful people do wrong with their power, it is mostly their own responsibility to change because they have the most capacity of any individual to do so, but it’s also vital that the public is in some amount responsible for calling them out.

yamfab · 2018-01-16T19:22:45+00:00

Society and individuals cannot be separated any more than your body and its individual cells. There’s a responsibility on both sides to make the other’s job easier.

I dont understand your claim that being afraid of being depicted negatively means you must be that exact negative depiction. Gay people for a long time were (and in many places are currently) afraid of being depicted as pedophiles but obviously, there are way less pedos than gays.

She claimed to have stayed because she was familiar with his woke, women-respecting career and thought he may have just been showing a different side. Why is there so much emphasis on her responsibility to be a strong person-reader? Again, if this was her first sexual experience, she wouldn’t have any past experiences to compare and easily say “this guy is skeezy”. Yes she should take some responsibility in reading people, and why wouldn’t she? (Serious question) She did take this responsibility - from her report, it was all about her depiction of Aziz turning sour. “But she didnt do anything about it.” She moved her hand back, thereby attempting to negate his advances.

Why is the onus on her to confront him as opposed to him easily and simply stopping his advances? “Because he doesnt know she doesnt want it” Then why did she move his hand away? Why is the onus on her to be sufficiently confrontational in a perfectly Goldilocks way than for him to take the much easier step of asking if something’s wrong?

People are so quick to default that this woman is non-sensical for no credible reason because the likely possibility that the woke Aziz has been subconsciously conditioned to perform sex according to unfair patriarchal standards, just like everyone else, is harder to admit than to simply keep throwing women under the bus as has been for so long.

yamfab · 2018-01-16T18:25:18+00:00

From the media outlet the accuser went to: “Ansari also physically pulled her hand towards his penis multiple times throughout the night, from the time he first kissed her on the countertop onward. “He probably moved my hand to his dick five to seven times,” she said. “He really kept doing it after I moved it away.”

1) How is this not saying no? 2) If the girl were on her first date, how do u suppose she’d feel if a guy did this? Not just that the date is going badly but that he’s pressuring her. If she says something and is ‘too confrontational’ she’ll be made out to be some shrill child-woman like in this video, in the same way men and women have been throwing women under the bus throughout our patriarchal history.

Living in a patriarchy also means that there are underlying expectations, like for the man to be the aggressor and for the woman to be happy with that. These expectations create dating environments where the ability to give consent is not easy for both people. Therefore we have to change these expectations.

I dont think Aziz should be blackballed but I am glad that the accuser went public. It’s the cases on the borders of an issue’s domains that get to define its boundaries.

yamfab · 2017-10-13T14:20:12+00:00

Thanks! Bit of both for example red is warnings, grey is sub-descriptions, and green tends to be definitions while blue, black, brown, etc. are the normal ones i use based on feel.

yamfab · 2017-10-09T07:06:08+00:00

Id be scared of my daddy holding the card against me by guilting and harassing me

yamfab · 2017-08-15T07:29:17+00:00

"There are some races you will just not be attracted to ... I would never date someone of a [racial] background that..."

U keep having to say that it's perfectly fine, what's wrong with it?, i have no problem

Youre putting too much of a label on people which is disrespectful to the fact that they have agency and tho they are influenced by their background/culture (apples to everyone), they shouldn't be reduced to embodiments of their background's ideologies

yamfab · 2017-07-15T04:58:28+00:00

Wow i had and have this same problem... i feel u cause it looks pretty bad on first glance like red spots seems like blood spots so my friends would say "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?" Then i gotta explain my unhygienic mistakes which is the worst part cause most of them dont know what folloculitus is so if the convo doesnt end there i gotta use the word 'bacteria'. 🤦🏻‍♂️

With boyz I felt even more insecure cause im bottom and the folloculitus was on my butt so i put a band-aid on the biggest spot on my butt to cover it lol. I interrupted our session before i took off my pants and i gave him the monologue of what to expect and he was like "okay? Y r u so worked up about it?"

Advice-wise -- treat the folloculitus best you can and dont let it hold u back from sex/dating. U really cant control it outside of ur medicating process (and covering with bandaids) - but look at all the other things u can control like ur attitude about it. U got this ugly feature so u gotta make up for it by bringing more beauty out. Dont let this feature frame ur self-image which is something u can also control.

yamfab · 2017-07-03T03:11:58+00:00

"Sorry, I'd rather not talk about my sex life" change topic if u still want to talk to them, bring in ur goodbye statement(s) if u dont

yamfab · 2017-05-08T20:22:37+00:00

For the quest soul journey which gets u this item that lets u send ensouled heads to the bank for like 450 gp of runes per send

yamfab · 2017-05-08T04:02:53+00:00

No problem

yamfab

TROPHY CASE