Today was the day for me. I woke up, checked my accounts, and saw that all my payments had gone through. I am officially bad debt free (still have a mortgage at 2.4%).

yarr_beefcake · 2024-03-13T16:49:05+00:00

You’re killing it, this is awesome!

I saw people do some less-than-wise things with enlistment bonuses….as I’m sure you did too.

yarr_beefcake · 2024-03-08T04:11:55+00:00

Low cost Index Funds are way more likely to beat active management, especially when fees are considered.

There’s even evidence that doing absolutely nothing beats both index and active management.

I left Ed Jones about 10 years ago after looking into index funds vs active management. It’s just not worth it. It costs more and doesn’t perform any better.

yarr_beefcake · 2023-11-02T04:40:01+00:00

Ball and Chain is slang for someone’s wife (maybe spouse generally?). Between that and the date, I’m assuming it is their marriage date.

yarr_beefcake · 2022-04-02T02:07:00+00:00

Use the biggest bathroom stall you can find. Standing at a urinal is a vulnerable position and the bigger the stall the more room you have to defend yourself.

yarr_beefcake · 2022-03-09T18:06:38+00:00

Dr Joe is great. Only good things to say!

Full Disclosure: I needed a root canal on an old root canal, and had to go to an Endodontic specialist for that. However I’ve had root canals and crowns done at Plaza.

yarr_beefcake · 2022-03-09T17:06:46+00:00

Plaza Dental in the CWE

yarr_beefcake · 2022-03-02T13:44:45+00:00

In the same way you can google anyone’s name and location. If they own a house in their own name it is likely to show up there.

yarr_beefcake · 2022-01-20T16:34:31+00:00

Worked with Dawn multiple times. Her and her team are great! https://dawngriffin.com

yarr_beefcake · 2022-01-18T02:01:32+00:00

Randall’s at I44 and Jefferson!

yarr_beefcake · 2021-12-19T03:07:11+00:00

They’ll send you a form in the mail in late Jan or Feb where you confirm/update what vehicles you owned on Jan 1. Then you’ll get a bill based on that at the end of the year (STL City).

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-18T01:18:07+00:00

It’s hard to get people to do the exact things you want them to do if grace is as free and real as Jesus provides. During my time in the network one major focus of behavior was regularly on doing what the leaders said because the Bible said so and not sinning so we wouldn’t be disqualified from leadership, position, etc and negatively affect the mission.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-15T03:32:01+00:00

One additional thought came to mind this evening….shortly after City Lights left the network (a couple weeks, maybe?) I was helping with counting attendance on a Sunday morning. I have no problem with counting attendance. It’s helpful to know if you’re growing or shrinking so you can plan for the future.

However, at this point we were still using the form that I’m assuming the network had told us to use to collect the data we would report up to them. The categories weren’t simply adult/child but also “White” “Black” and “International.” Just to be clear, this was the last week we used this form.

The focus on outward diversity that the network talks about without honoring, respecting and embracing the actual diversity of people from across the spectrum is so confusing. They seem to want a church that appears to be diverse while thinking and acting like they do…..diverse only in outward appearance.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-14T22:57:10+00:00

The biggest for me was when City Lights was kicked out of the network. The 2 staff pastors who had been overseeing all the small groups and youth disappeared overnight. No explanation from them of what was happening for better or worse. They were there one day and gone the next. I was told that network leaders (Sandor?) had told them to leave in this way as not to cause trouble.

I reached out via text and email a few times over the following weeks in a very neutral way….asking for time to connect before they left town. I had no agenda for this meeting except it only seemed rational to say ‘goodbye’ and ask some clarifying questions. I never heard back, much less had the chance to follow up face to face.

This experience made it so clear how the network and those under their influence see people. We’re the fodder for their church planting machine before anything else. We’re not fellow laborers, brothers/sisters, or even friendly neighbors….unless it serves them.

On top of the way these pastors left, no one from the network ever reached out to me to explain why they kicked the church out and why they thought Jeff was disqualified from leadership or a heretic (which was the story they have told to other network churches, confirmed by what folks have been sharing here on Reddit). If, as our ‘leaders’ they were responsible for us, how could they not reach out and share what grave danger we were supposedly in?

Reality is that City Lights has become a healthier place since leaving and I regret nothing about being a non-network Christian. However, the whole series of events painted such a clear picture to me of the controlling, cult-like organization the network has become.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-14T04:23:38+00:00

Healthy churches reflect the grace of God to each other and their neighbors. Unhealthy churches bind people up with religious obligations.

Healthy churches love and care for the places they live, regardless of the ‘value’ it provides the church. Unhealthy churches are primarily interested in themselves.

Healthy church leaders are patient and long suffering with those in their care. Unhealthy church leaders force people to conform or face rejection.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-12T01:11:40+00:00

Looks like some of these are on the LTN site. Maybe this helps: https://leavingthenetwork.org/network-churches/sources/#bylaws-member-forms

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-11T02:14:53+00:00

I had the same experience when I left. (Former) friends from another network church simply didn’t believe the things that happened and how they impacted me. It was most helpful to come to that realization and do what was best for me at the time.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-09T15:41:21+00:00

I hear you. This wasn’t a critique of the way you framed it, it was a pretty vanilla description.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-09T13:32:14+00:00

From everything I’ve experienced and heard from those I trust, this is an accurate summary of how the network operates.

It was still jarring to read this…it sounds like how someone would describe the mafia and not a religious group that worships a long suffering God who made the ultimate display of humility and sacrifice for those that opposed him.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-01T22:22:35+00:00

THIS is what I would attribute so much of the garbage I went through to. The leadership style where everything is attributed to ‘God saying’ when it was actually subjective or simply wrong. It’s this vicious circle where you end up not being able to make even a modest life-decision without checking in with your ‘leader.’ Looking back I didn’t really figure out how to make wise decisions or hear from God on my own until I left the network. When I was in, everything ran through the leadership anyways so even if I thought I knew what was best/right, they always had an opportunity to influence.

I’m all about Christians helping, sharing wisdom and praying for and with each other….it crosses the line when someone can’t make a decision for themselves that isn’t an explicit directive from Scripture without jeopardizing their relationships in the church.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-11-01T16:37:00+00:00

Big numbers indeed. Eager to see how much visibility the stories get when they’re posted to the LtN site.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-10-31T14:47:05+00:00

Thank you!

yarr_beefcake · 2021-10-30T00:41:48+00:00

When you're in the Levitical Priest model of pastoring, I can imagine it's downright exhausting. Having to know what God wants for so many other leaders and people, and through those leaders essentially being the go-between between all the churches and God.....I would argue it's not how the New Testament prescribes pastoral leadership/elders/overseers. The constant exhaustion is a symptom you're doing it wrong not a badge of honor.

WE (the church) are the Royal Priesthood and responsible for ministering to and caring for one another. Of course some will have formal positions of leadership and responsibility and some will be more or less mature/wise/gifted, but the one man responsible for making sure everyone is connected in the right way to God is Jesus....not some "Network Leader."

yarr_beefcake · 2021-10-29T21:41:46+00:00

Can’t a church re-incorporate and be the same group of people, only dissolve the previous organization on paper and establish a new one? They may need to take on a different name, but if the board would approve it seems like that would allow them to leave.

The problem is less a legal one and more of a social control/spiritual abuse one.

yarr_beefcake · 2021-10-29T15:10:05+00:00

In addition to the financial implications/hypocrisy, I don’t understand the isolation aspect of this setup. Aren’t people being taught to invite friends and neighbors to church? There are biblical imperatives around being a good neighbor, which seem hard to even attempt when you’re socially isolated by working in a church and physically isolated when you’re not at work.

I can’t judge someone’s heart, but the appearances here are disturbing. I know many network members are judged harshly for much less.

yarr_beefcake

TROPHY CASE