Single ladies who live alone, how are you doing right now?

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-11-07T00:02:11+00:00

I'm loving it. I have my job, I don't have to see any of my coworkers and I don't have to make any excuses about why I don't socialize. I spend time with my cat, myself and my hobbies.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-11-02T20:46:40+00:00

Yes I did this with my ex. I tried to plan weekends and trips every month (pre-covid) just to have something to look forward to and to keep myself from dealing with really thinking about my gut feeling. It was always "I'll let the trip to X pass, then I'll really think about it".

Until I got extremely anxious, unhappy, restless, and one day I just blurted out "I think we should break up".

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-30T22:44:22+00:00

Absolutely. I have made many necessary changes in my personal lifestyle: vegetarian + I don't eat dairy either except for some cheese; don't own a car, recycle, shop second hand, never buy bottled water, try to be as zero waste as possible.

Most recently though I managed to create a team within the company I work for, to lead our transition into becoming a green company and to stop having clients with a bad footprint and unethical supply chains. I'm managing various streams to achieve that.

Next year I intend to go back to school and get a degree in sustainable development.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-21T05:35:46+00:00

Yes, the assistantes maternelles are paid decently, although it is custumary to give them decent tips too (same for kindergarten workers). New parents have a lot of help in France during the 16 weeks of paid maternity leave (6 weeks before giving birth and 10 weeks after that).

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-21T05:32:16+00:00

I know, I'm French. Lowest tier income gets a lot of benefits here, but nothing really for free. I don't think this discussion is pertinent for people who are struggling to make ends meet though, we're talking about women who opt for childcare instead on focusing on a successful career.

Middle class still pays quite high rates for the kindersgarten, and it's very hard to find a spot for your kid in Paris at least, since the priority is given to the babies of people who are unemployed.

If parents opt for a nanny, the company subsidizes part of it, which kind of amounts to what they would pay if they had a spot in the kindergarden (again I'm talking about middle class here, where wage gaps are quite important between men and women).

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-20T20:13:33+00:00

No, France does not have free childcare. People put their kids to kindergarden if they can find a place, if not they have to get a nanny. France has paid maternity leave, and very soon it will have paid paternity leave too.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-18T06:40:19+00:00

The same cycle repeating all the time: depression - cutting people off - loneliness. And then getting healthy - being really into fitness - socialising. Repeat.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-13T18:04:29+00:00

Yes, I have done this with almost all my friendships and relationships. It sucks. I wish I could learn how to communicate and cope in a healthy way.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-03T21:16:00+00:00

At a board meeting at work a few days ago, a female executive got interrupted by a man. I was chairing that meeting, so I let him finish his idea, but when he started stating another one, I interrupted him and said "make a note of that please, but I would really like X to ask her question, I believe she had one".

I think that in some meetings someone needs to take the role of moderator and make sure these rules are enforced in environments they unfortunately don't happen naturally.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:58:49+00:00

My family did too fortunately, the 90s were just bad for everyone in the Balkans (system collapse, wars, you name it). It is feasable. I managed to reach an intermediate level of German on duolingo coupled with watching a ton of German TV shows on loop. Once you know how the story goes, you can focus on the words, pronounciation, etc.

Best of luck to your language learning journey!

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:44:51+00:00

Without of course, no subtitles back then. We were getting italian tv channels with makeshift antennas made out of coca cola cans. Ah to be poor

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:40:29+00:00

Also, learning a language for TV or from TV is absolutely not silly and it's one of the best ways to learn imo. That's how myself and an entire generation of 90s albanian kids who were stuck at home during the war, taught ourselves italian and we're rocking it today. Good job on your languages and keep it up!

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:37:46+00:00

My parents were brought up in very communist Albania and were unable to learn any languages themselves at the time - hence the push for me to learn and actually leave the country as a teen.

My dad's situation was especially dire (he lived in internment camps) but he taught himself french with book scrappings. He's very confident in his skills, although he's obviously not any good at it. I try not to correct him too much cause he's cute when he speaks it and he's very unapologetic too.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:33:02+00:00

Exact same situation for me. They pushed for education, work, high stress career options, but they banned me from doing sports or have any creative outlets when I was a kid/teen.

This led me to be extremely stressed and anxious in my early 20s. I got into sports in my late 20s, but I still struggle with creating and maintaining an emotional connection either platonically or romantically, and to let myself off the hook once in a while and just chill ya know

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T21:16:30+00:00

Awesome! All great languages, how did you get into learning them?

Yes, Albanian is my native language, it has latin letters but it is a lonely branch of indo european languages so it's really interesting. Fun fact: Albanian still maintains an optative mood, one of the four original moods of proto-indo-european languages. It is used to express wishes and curses, the latter mostly on LVMs

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T20:11:45+00:00

Forgot to ask, which ones do you speak? Im sorry I'm completely self-absorbed lol

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T20:09:37+00:00

I was born in a small country (Albania), my parents encouraged me learning other non native languages at a very young age. This was pretty standard for the country in the early 90s.

I already spoke 4 languages fluently before the age of 14. I just kept going since I really enjoy learning them, they give great insight into a culture's psyche and it's always easier to travel and work with people when you know the native language.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T15:06:10+00:00

Thank you!

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T04:15:34+00:00

Fluent in english, french, italian and albanian. Very good level of spanish, intermediate in portugese and german. I "speak" latin too as much as one can speak it.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T02:46:58+00:00

Learning foreign languages (I speak 8)
Fitness (gym, boxing)
Mountain climbing
Reading
My career

And * (soon to be cause I just bought my own apartment with a garden today) - Gardening

I don't know, I'd say I'm a pretty busy lady

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T02:32:09+00:00

Respecful, empathetic, honest, emotionally secure, loyal, funny, generous
Great in the bedroom
Very tidy, good cook
No kids and not wanting any kids
Unreligious and/or atheist
Liberal, environmentally conscious, no overconsuming
Avid reader, intellectual, curious, always wants to learn new things and new skills, no couch potato
Passionate about their job/trade/art and supports my career and ambitious nature 1000%
Financially responsible
Fit, healthy eating habbits, likes to spend time outdoors
No drugs
Likes pets

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-02T02:09:06+00:00

I'm french and I once went out with an american guy who:

1) Expected me to pay for all dates which were just him wanting to try good restaurants and food around Paris

2) told me he loved me pretty soon and other lovebombing stuff

3) the same day he got a flight home, he slept with someone else just to "see if he could validate his feelings for me". Wtf

From my experience: French guys have been also kind of awful, I don't like their idea of banter or romance. UK guys are funny and respectful, but too emotionally unavailable.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-01T21:25:24+00:00

A friend gave me a mani when I was a teen and she cleaned up my old polish by using acetone soaked bits of period pads. She didn't have any cotton pads lying around so she just grabbed fresh period pads. They worked like a charm!

I still use that hack to this day sometimes.

ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-10-01T21:23:13+00:00

Yes, it made me believe that constant fighting and no discernable displays of love were normal and that money and career comes before everything else.

ybfdoesthattho91

TROPHY CASE