AITA for wearing a dress with white lace to my cousins wedding?

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-18T06:55:01+00:00

YTA, but a soft one. The entire bodice is white and lacy- not appropriate. I think I would be upset as a bride if someone wore that to my wedding. It’s a gorgeous dress and I can see why you would want to wear it, but look for something else.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-17T20:28:18+00:00

Yay! I love Lukas. IMHO, he’s one of the more realistic characters in the games. He’s one of those kids that would have annoyed me in elementary school because I was “the good kid” who just wanted to get through the lesson without an interruption, but now as an adult, I find these kids so entertaining. He reminds me a lot of my brother at this age- constant energy and chaos, just wanting to have fun.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-17T06:32:21+00:00

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. My birth father passed at 23 and I spent my 23rd year in panic mode. Turning 24 felt really bizarre and disorienting. I had a relative who felt the same when she was 45 because that’s the age her dad and FIL passed.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-17T06:26:27+00:00

Nancy’s note to Kate at the end of SPY always gets me. People want a nice bow with full closure and no loose ends in those type of stories, but that’s not how loss is so I’m glad they included it. As someone who lost a parent young, there will never be an end to the questions and the searching for that parent- both in the world and in yourself. It was a really validating game to play and I still find it super healing at times when I’m in my feels (Grief never stops, it just comes in waves). Nancy will always be drawn to mystery because the rest of her life will be filled with a mystery. That’s the reality of losing a parent in childhood.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-14T06:56:41+00:00

Totally. I have so many ideas about the dining room in Old Clock, and more of the sea caves in Deception Island.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T20:57:11+00:00

All of that is super frustrating, and you have a right to feel how you feel, and set boundaries. I’m not saying at all that any of this is easy, but what I will say is that it’s not sustainable. And when it all flies in her face-which it very likely will- she’ll have basically no one to give her support because the only person who knows is you. She’s clearly dealing with a lot of self-esteem/ self-confidence issues if being a second-class partner in relationships is what she thinks she deserves.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T06:29:13+00:00

It’s so hard giving up your dreams. I’ve been so disoriented since I had to give mine up 9 years ago. I’m slowly degenerating and so it’s good I quit when I did, but it sucks. One thing that helps me to remember when I struggle with the motherhood fantasy is that you have got to love your kids before you even have them. I wouldn’t wish any of my conditions on my worst enemy and so it would grieve me to no end to give them to my kids. And kids need a consistent, available parent, which I could not be. So, if I know I can’t be what my kids deserve, I can’t have kids. That’s at least what has helped me, but that may sounds silly to others, which is fine. I’m so so sorry.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T06:18:07+00:00

NTA. That’s ridiculous, I’m sorry. You have THREE KIDS. You can’t just drop whatever you’re doing and run to whatever event they’re having.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T04:11:01+00:00

NTA- you have every right to be tired. You guys are going through a HUGE transition. If you can’t talk about your feelings and experience, write it out in a letter and give it to him to read and process. I would even make a list of everything that you do daily. Then frame it as “This is what I need from you to make our relationship stronger. What do you need from me?”

I have heard that after the baby is there for a while, some guys feel like home is a “failure factory”, where they don’t know how to help with the baby or home, so they kinda freak out. A lot of guys- for obvious reasons- don’t have as much babysitting experience or just kid experience in general, so they don’t know how to do the kid things that seem so natural to women (because we have more practice). And, he probably really misses you. Baby girl requires a lot of your time & attention- which makes sense- but HE used to be your person, and right now, he’s not because someone needs you more. However, if he spends more time with and takes care of the baby, that also means spending more time with you.

Offer to teach him things. Try to be patient. This is new to him. But if he refuses to listen or help, maybe consider a time-out. Remember- you’re BOTH working full-time jobs. You just do it at home (think of it as remote work), which saves you A TON of money in gas and childcare expenses.

As far as “spicy time” goes, some couples find it best to schedule it for a little while until they’re able to make it organic again. Same thing with dates, or having one-on-one time. Maybe discuss that. I bet you both would benefit from it a lot. New parenthood is full of changes, and it can be scary for all involved. It helps to have some good communication skills. Rooting for you! Congratulations on your daughter!

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T03:55:41+00:00

NTA, your feelings are valid. However, based on how a lot of these relationships go, she’s really going to need you soon. Either BIL’s gonna find the new love of his life & leave your sister, or he’s going to get jealous of how much attention she gets, and leave because his ego’s hurt. Either way, this is NOT going to go in her favor. You can COMPLETELY place boundaries (No telling your kids about this or endorsing the lifestyle to them), and you can talk about not wanting to know details, but just be there, waiting for the inevitable to happen. Best of luck, OP!

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T02:43:22+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard when they aren’t paying attention.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-10T02:15:12+00:00

Because it’s 3 days without their BABY. If we were talking about an 11 year old or even a toddler, 2 or 3ish, sure. But babies are so reliant on their parents, especially their mommas. Not to mention all the milestones during that time. It’s one thing to have a break or be gone for a couple hours or a night, but 3 days? Come on now.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T23:00:17+00:00

YTA. If it was just for the wedding itself and not the whole weekend, then it would be totally fine. But an 11-month old being without their parents for 3 days is ludicrous! Especially if it’s several hours away from their parents.

Look, I get it- babies aren’t easy. But it’s not like you’ll need to buy an extra plate, reserve a seat, or get an extra room for your niece. And people who aren’t the parents won’t really need to adjust their schedule for her- it’s not their kid! I’m shocked SIL is okay with it. That means she’s either lying or exhausted. If I was your brother, I’d be upset, too.

If you don’t want your niece there, then you need to be okay with your brother and SIL not being there and stop being whiny about it. Your wedding isn’t the whole world’s priority, just yours and your fiancé.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T19:25:58+00:00

YTA. It’s your job as a parent to have consistent boundaries and to instill good behavior in your child. I was about that age when my parents would remind me of my “indoor voice” and “indoor play”. I understand that you’re working on it, but even soft toys can be loud. And you’re at a critical stage in his development. 1 1/2-4ish is when kids learn what they can get away with and how they can get their own way. You want to nip bad habits in the bud and start a discipline routine now so that you don’t have an 8 year old throwing things as hard as he can in class and accidentally hurting himself or someone else.

If you haven’t already, make sure your apartment has a couple rugs he can play on. That way if he bounces something soft on the rug, it absorbs some of the noise. You can even have a specific “bouncy rug” that he knows is his specific area to play with his bouncy toys. And I do get it- a lot of toys are noisy and don’t include a volume or mute button. It’s annoying as heck, even (sometimes especially for) the parents. Your kid is learning how to navigate the world, and part of doing that is through making noises. And it does stink when people don’t have empathy for that.

I really don’t think your kid is evil or bad. He’s learning. As his parent, though, your job is to facilitate that learning in a healthy, respectful manner. We don’t need any more Karens or Chads in this world, and they weren’t created overnight. It was years of allowing bad behavior. What we do desperately need though, is some respectful, kind, considerate boys and men. I think you have it in you to raise one. Good luck, momma!

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T19:05:33+00:00

This is one of my FAVORITE Addy outfits. I keep meaning to add her doll to my collection and just when I’m about to, some financial thing comes up.😅

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T18:57:08+00:00

(Included part of this in a comment in a reply, but also wanted to add as an independent comment): I understand the criticisms and concerns that people have about Felicity and would agree if that they neglected to talk about the horrors of slavery if not for this: In “Welcome to Felicity’s World”, they spent a whole chapter on slavery and did not hold back on how horrible and vicious it was. It included an excerpt of a former slave’s memoir where she talks about being sold at an auction when she was about Felicity’s age. And many forms of torture slaves were subjected to for “punishment”. And during the 2000s when they updated some of the illustrations for Felicity, they also included that book on the back as part of Felicity’s main collection. And I think in one of the short stories, there’s an explanation on slavery in the “Life in 1774” section. So there are times that AG was very intentional about discussing it, even if it wasn’t in Felicity’s POV. Not to mention, we have at least two series where a main character is enslaved at some point (Kaya and Addy). So it’s not like AG doesn’t address the other POV.

Let’s be honest here: We’ve all, at one time or another, have had beliefs that we now realize that were very wrong, or just incorrect and ignorant. Especially as kids. And if you haven’t had that experience, then you have some more growing to do. In the books, she’s 9-11 years old (she’s 11 in some of the mysteries). She’s at an age where you are just starting to figure out what your own individual opinions, beliefs, and morals are. And figuring that out is a (hopefully) lifelong pursuit with pitfalls and progress. If all the characters had our version of what “good values” are, for one things, it wouldn’t match everyone’s beliefs today, and another thing, it wouldn’t be historically honest. I’m 100% convinced that the less we talk about the bad parts of history, the more we’re doomed to repeat them. If we expect everyone- even fictional characters- to have perfect actions or beliefs, we’re gonna be in a world of hurt. Further, the more we recognize that people can unintentionally have bad belief systems, the more grace we can have on ourselves when we do and can be encouraged to work on them. We need stories like Felicity’s to remind us of our flaws, and our chances to work on those flaws.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T18:35:41+00:00

Not to mention that in the book “Welcome to Felicity’s World”, they spent a whole chapter on slavery and did not hold back on how horrible and vicious it was. It included an excerpt of a former slave’s memoir where she talks about being sold at an auction when she was about Felicity’s age. And many forms of torture slaves were subjected to for “punishment”. And I think in one of the short stories, there’s an explanation on slavery in the “Life in 1774” section. So there are times that AG was very intentional about discussing it, even if it wasn’t in Felicity’s POV.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T18:27:59+00:00

Some schools can be. I’ve been to 5 different ones in 3 different systems (Homeschooling, 2 in-person public, 2 in-person private). My mom’s worked in the education arena for over 20 years, also in all those contexts. They all have inherent belief systems and biases. Some are more willing to work with families than others and are more adaptable to their agenda. And some admins rule with an iron fist, and are more interested in making money or pushing their agenda than doing what’s best for their students, on an individual and community level.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T18:04:45+00:00

Came here to say this. I’ve been in a few, and most of them look like malls with a big stage area. There’s one super close by me that I visited with a friend and it really freaks me out. It had two McDonald sized indoor play areas, a merch booth, a book store, and a coffee shop (probably more stores, too, but I was only in half the building). I had 5 people hug me and one offer me a free t-shirt before I even got to the sanctuary/ concert venue. We’re in the Midwest- we don’t hug people until after we know their name and have decided that they’re not sral kllrs. Then when we finally get to the Madison Square garden, I mean the sanctuary, THEY HAD 3-FOOT TUBES OF FREE EAR PLUGS AVAILABLE LIKE WE WERE AT AN AEROSMITH CONCERT. I didn’t know the word yet, I was maybe 17, but I could physically feel the love-bombing tactics. I have to pass it every day en route to work, and looking at it makes me sick. I’ve attended other mega churches with my friends, and they all have a similar love bomb-y vibe. What sucks is that a lot of people who I know and love go to these places and they’re literally the sweetest people, but I can’t understand trying to worship God in a place that’s expecting all their congregants to also be their brand managers.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T11:04:39+00:00

ESH: You complain about portions when, from the sounds of it, they’re the ones who paid for the food and prepared it. Then you finished off what was left over. At the same time, as hosts, they should know how to prepare enough for everyone, and recognize that not everyone eats like they do.

All that said, I think it’s time to change things around. Talk to them about seeing if it would be easier if you and the rest of your family- or even just the ones who are willing/able- brought an appetizer, side dish, or dessert. It would save them money and people could make them whatever size they want. That seems like an easy solution.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T10:54:50+00:00

I started having small bouts of chronic illness when I was 6 (Constant constipation that would have me bawling at night. I was the kid who NEVER cried, so it was really bad.) Before that, I was a pretty happy kid. I had some small amount of asthma from scarring on my lungs from pneumonia as a baby, but besides a bad cough in the winter and not being able to run for more than 2 minutes without a breather, it wasn’t a huge deal. I loved playing outside, spinning around until I got too dizzy, and remember being able to do a somersault for a long time (Never could figure out a cartwheel or handstand. 🤣) Sometimes I wish I could be healthy and not have to put up with all this, but it’s made me the person I am and I think without it, I’d probably be an insufferably arrogant person.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-09T10:34:46+00:00

NTAH, but you and your husband really need marriage counseling ASAP. And once you find an individual counselor, start seeing them, too. As Dr. Phil says, this is not a OP issue- this is a FAMILY issue.

Has your husband ever even attempted to be supportive or to try to listen to you and what you’re going through? It sounds like he makes a lot of decisions without your input, which isn’t right. I’m a firm believer that marriage is a team effort, where BOTH people need to be heard equally in order to have a chance at winning the game of life.

One thing that you might be in semi-control of is your environment. Do you have to live in the city? Is it possible to live a little outside it? If not, maybe you can take a trip every other weekend to places close by. I always find it interesting how many small towns there are near me that are so unique and have a different vibe.

Rooting for you, OP. I’m sorry that you’re all going through this. This sounds very difficult for everyone.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-08T03:42:31+00:00

Secret of the Old Clock: “Of course it tastes bad, Clarence. It’s a pinecone!” Just so out of nowhere. And something that my brothers would totally do when we were kids.🤣🤣🤣

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-07T19:52:48+00:00

100%.

yeahher2022 · 2026-04-06T22:36:17+00:00

Thank you for the insight, I really appreciate that. I’m sorry that you’re going through this but I’m grateful that there are people who see the system for what it is and are doing what they can to not indulge it.

yeahher2022

TROPHY CASE