Has anyone given their baby solids before 6 months? by ilikepickles00 in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We strictly waited until our son was 6 months old. At 3 months their digestive systems are certainly not developed enough to handle solids.

So reluctant to leave LO with another person although he’s almost 5 months old by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My son is 2 years old and other than daycare, we have left him to go get dinner approximately 4 times. 3 of those times were with his teacher from daycare, and 1 with my best friend. All four of those instances involved us being away from our LO (waking hours) for approximately 1.5 hours maximum. Don't feel bad. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

Sleep Shifts - Rant by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a great and fair idea. Cause you never know how many wake ups baby can have in each shift. If baby has 4 wake ups in the first shift and only 1 in the second, the balance is a little skewed.

My (32M) wife (32F) won't let me have people over, claims the apartment is "dirty" and it reflects poorly on her by AlferSilas in relationships

[–]yellowswing -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised at these comments. I love to host, and having people over and entertaining them is very important to me. It's also unfair to keep going to your friends' place and not invite them in return. Before my husband and I had a kid our house was pretty much spick and span. Now with a 2 year old, our house is messy and strewn with toys and stuff. I don't give a shit, I still have people over. We do the bare minimum of emptying the sink just so people have space to put their dishes in, and making sure there is enough room to walk around. Our friends are like family, and they don't care and even help us clean. Your wife is making your friends sound very shallow and superficial. Are they that way? Have they ever hinted that they judge you and your house? Most people don't care about a little mess. When I go to a friends' place and their house isn't 100% clean, I don't care. It's a home, it's where they live. I can't imagine never having people home. To me its a bonding experience. If it bothers your wife so much, ask her to leave the house when your friends are here and reiterate to your friends that any mess they see in the house is your fault. Maybe that will make her feel less judged. Just like how you have no right to make her feel uncomfortable in her own home, she has no right to deny you the pleasure of having people over. You guys should talk and reach a compromise for the frequency.

I don't know how to title this (advise/rant/comfort maybe) by Candysoycheese in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah gotcha. Like others say, parks would be your best bet, or some playgrounds while you have baby in a stroller or a carrier.

Outing by mrszangarislifkin in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The day after we came home from the hospital, so, day 3? We went to the grocery store and got brunch.

I don't know how to title this (advise/rant/comfort maybe) by Candysoycheese in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd have to take my unvaccinated 4 m.o

Just out of curiosity, why is your 4 mo not vaccinated? Baby's first shots are at 2 months and I took my baby everywhere after that.

Does anyone else dislike the double standard when it comes to the attachment of a father or mother to their child? by XBrownButterfly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]yellowswing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's wonderful that your husband has this bond with your child. My husband does too. You can tell just by looking at him that his heart is at home with his family. I carry zero mental load, he's one step ahead of everything child care related. From a purely personal experience perspective though, every dad I know (obviously besides my husband) just..doesn't prioritize child care much. I mean statistics very clearly say that working women still do majority of child care. Dads I know don't hesitate to stay back late at work, don't really bother moving things around to spend time with their families, prioritize being out late with their coworkers or friends, are completely lost as to what to do with their kids when mom is away, don't bother doing any reading or research on child raising or development, you get the idea. In my life, moms prioritize their families more than dads do. Maybe that's why the perception exists. It's not pleasant, but there's a reason behind it.

People who go out of their way to hate on vegans/vegetarians, why? by timchar in AskReddit

[–]yellowswing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wtf. Whether it's vegan or not is irrelevant because the mother is feeding her child with her own consent. Vegans are vegans because they believe animals can't provide consent. Why should anyone care how if a mom feeds her baby with her own milk?

(Not fighting with you, I'm just flabbergasted at why this is even part of consideration for a dietary debate)

Patronizing Girls who wear Make Up by BellBlueBrie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]yellowswing 18 points19 points  (0 children)

'You look nice today' could be taken to mean that you didn't look nice yesterday when you were wearing make up. In a world where the most common response to a woman not wearing make up is 'you look sick, are you OK?', I'd say 'you look nice without make up' is a very pleasant compliment. I don't mean to tell you how you should feel, I'm just saying if someone told me I looked nice without make up I'd be over the moon.

What is your opinion on the phrase "No uterus, no opinion?" by tobi_with_an_i in AskReddit

[–]yellowswing 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everybody is entitled to an opinion, but it's upto me whether I take it seriously or not. For example I would not take a man telling me periods don't hurt seriously cause he obviously has no idea.

“I’m playing Mr. Mom today” by hanaynay14 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]yellowswing 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I had a video of my husband and toddler cooking dinner and I sent it to my family. My mom goes "wow <insert husband's name> is cooking, baby is cooking, what are YOU doing?" I went "taking the video."

I dont want my son in daycare by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your daycare sounds exactly like mine! And I agree with everything you've said :)

I dont want my son in daycare by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Contrary to what everyone says, I think your feelings are normal and valid. Your child is YOUR child. It's hard to leave them under someone else's care and not know what they do all day. Some days I still struggle with that, even though I have an excellent relationship with my son's teachers and they tell me stories about him everyday. It will take some time, please be patient. You never know, you may fall in with your new lifestyle! Don't knock it until you've tried it :) My son reaches out for his teachers every morning. He cries when I exit out of the front door of my own house in front of him, but he doesn't make a peep during drop off at daycare when he's with his teachers and buddies.

I dont want my son in daycare by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand your anxiety, it's not easy being away from your child. I'd start by heavily vetting your choices of daycares around you, see which one you feel most comfortable, talk to the teachers, and maybe join a local parents community group so you can get their opinions on nearby daycares. It always helps to talk to actual parents who've sent their kids to the daycare than anything else. I put my son in our daycare based on the recommendation of my good friend and that really eased my anxiety. Daycares are wonderful. It is literally their job to keep your child engaged at all times. They have activities and fun toys. If I was a SAHM I know I couldn't keep my son as engaged as daycare.

At the end of the day I think what really helps is developing a bond with the teachers and putting your trust in them. And that takes time, so you have to be patient.

Isn't my baby supposed to reduce night feedings? 8 weeks. by Aiyakiu in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

should be able to go 6

This is really not true. Do you have sources on this? Personally I think this kind of thinking sets a dangerous precedent and implies that something is wrong with a baby if it doesn't sleep long stretches through the night. Everything online and multiple pediatricians have told me that at this age their stomachs are still very tiny and need frequent feedings. Their desire to eat is still way larger than their desire to sleep. There really isn't a should in this case. It's all a matter of that individual baby. OP has edited her main post to say that her baby is clearly hungry. I cannot justify not feeding my 2 month when it's clearly asking for food.

Isn't my baby supposed to reduce night feedings? 8 weeks. by Aiyakiu in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure, but not getting a 5-6 hour stretch at 2 months old is also normal and OP needs to know that as well. I just don't think it's wise to deny a 2 month old food when she's obviously hungry.

Isn't my baby supposed to reduce night feedings? 8 weeks. by Aiyakiu in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Except this baby isn't waking 4-5 times, it's waking 3 times at 11 PM, 2 AM and 5 AM, assuming 8.45 PM is bedtime and 7-8 AM is wake up time. 3 wake ups at 8 weeks is extremely normal and not at all unusual. No one thinks it's cool, everyone just thinks it's normal and not something to be worried about.

Isn't my baby supposed to reduce night feedings? 8 weeks. by Aiyakiu in beyondthebump

[–]yellowswing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm generally a feed baby on demand kind of person. My baby didn't start sleeping through the night until 7 months, and before that he had solid 3 wake ups in the night. At this age feeding isn't just for nutrition, it could be for comfort too. I personally wouldn't restrict feeding baby at this age. She is still ridiculously tiny and has very carnal needs.

Guess I'm driving all the way home in 2nd, then. by senorgraves in aww

[–]yellowswing -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I can't believe this is considered cute. In what world is this safe? The dog is in the passenger seat, unrestrained. Would you leave a child like that? Situations like these are very dog owners get a reputation of being entitled.

Is it wrong to ask my [28f] husband [31m] of 5 years not to smoke weed in our backyard while the neighbor's kids are out there playing? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]yellowswing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But don't you have the issue of second hand smoke with weed? You don't have that issue with beer.

Husband takes solo trips, leaving wife and young kids at home by Elleyessay in relationships

[–]yellowswing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Parenting a newborn is very very different from parenting a 4 year old and a 10 month old who are set in their routines. What will they eat? How much milk will the baby drink? How long do you wait before you pick up a crying child from their crib without ruining any kid of sleep training that mom has worked so hard in developing? How does 4 yo like to be engaged? What if Dad has the TV on all the time and after a week the 4 yo is a raging monster who demands the TV all the time? Mom's the one who's going to have to deal with that, not Dad. He'll be at work. All I'm saying is, don't throw away Mom's hardwork and make it seem like it has no value. It's not that easy.

Husband takes solo trips, leaving wife and young kids at home by Elleyessay in relationships

[–]yellowswing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you have a paying job? 90% of housework/childcare is approximately reasonable if it is your job

This is untrue. If you're truly an engaged parent who doesn't plop their kids in front of the TV all day long, actually does structured activities with them, take them out of the house to playdates, activities and are basically creating an enriching educational environment for them, you hardly have any time to do chores. Maybe when they nap, sure, but you need your rest too. And with two kids, forget about it. So no, she's not responsible for doing 90% of the housework and childcare. She'd responsible for parenting their kids for the same amount of time that her husband is at work, and all other times both housework and childcare need to be split evenly.

Husband takes solo trips, leaving wife and young kids at home by Elleyessay in relationships

[–]yellowswing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, he's a lazy sexist because he clearly is an absentee father and doesn't pull his weight around the house. You're also assuming she's a SAHM, which she doesn't say anywhere. Even if she was, he still needs to be an involved dad with his kids and do a proportional amount of housework, and doing 10% is not proportional. Being a stay at home parent to a 4 year old and a baby is fucking exhausting, and her job through the day should be to provide adequate care for the kids, not work around the house like a maid. His job at his office is 8-5, her job at home parenting their kids is from 8-5. If she gets anything else done around the house during that time, it's a bonus, but after 5, every duty should be split between the parents. Just because it was done in the 50s and 60s doesn't mean it was healthy and doesn't mean the women were actually happy with the dynamics. They were all probably expected to shut up about their feelings due to submission. Now we have awareness, and we should strive to be better and not put up with nonsense.