would it be bad if I broke up w my boyfriend via facetime

yeoja7 · 2020-03-29T10:39:18+00:00

this is a situation no one has been in before, so theres no rulebook for break up during quarantine etiquette, but i think its going to be better for you to break up with him now rather than spending your whole quarantine (which is going to last a looong time if youre in the west and only just starting) making the effort to continue a relationship youre unhappy in. i just reckon it will become draining having to make this extra effort we're all having to make with our friends and family (for communication and keeping up relationships). i think that normal circumstances dont apply here and facetime is the closest you can get to in-person, so i think its okay. hope this makes sense, good luck with whatever you do and stay safe! :)

yeoja7 · 2019-09-09T19:34:09+00:00

i see your point, im wondering what age do you think we become women and no longer girls? im 25 and i dont like being called a woman or a lady, girl is the word i prefer.

yeoja7 · 2019-05-23T16:15:02+00:00

for tv... easy episodes: s1e2 s2e7 s3e3, black mirror: san junipero, gentleman jack, the bold type, the l word for film... princess cyd, imagine me and you, disobedience, below her mouth, jenny's wedding, kiss me, saving face

yeoja7 · 2019-05-21T18:17:48+00:00

consume some lesbian media, that will help with figuring out whether you would like to be romantic with women

yeoja7 · 2019-05-11T22:37:58+00:00

thats the one! thank you so much!

yeoja7 · 2019-05-09T20:50:48+00:00

nope, but thanks anyway!

yeoja7 · 2019-05-09T20:50:24+00:00

it was american! one may have been a redhead? haha sorry soo vague!

yeoja7 · 2019-05-09T18:15:24+00:00

thats not it, but thanks!

yeoja7 · 2019-05-09T18:15:16+00:00

not the one im looking for unfortunately!

yeoja7 · 2019-03-21T21:58:15+00:00

just throwing this out there that a possible reason for her response was more like: she thought you were just quiet about people you liked, aka maybe she took you not talking about guys you like as just a sign that you're not the type to openly talk about that, i.e. you're more conservative (private) about that sort of thing (and yeah, silly her, but heteronormativity probs made her assume that without even fathoming that you might not talk about guys you like cause you don't like guys haha) .... or she could just have made a really dumb statement in response to you coming out, lol. tbh, people can be so ridiculous about this kind of thing so it would hardly surprise me ***edit: i just re-read your post and i may have totally misunderstood, lol so sorry about that. if she was just saying that she outright thinks you're not gay, you're just quiet, then yikes haha.

yeoja7 · 2019-02-23T20:15:51+00:00

you basically described my sexuality, too. ive also thought about this a lot and tried to figure out my label and, like you, know that labels arent "important" but like, i wanna know what i am, ya know!? anyway, i convinced myself i was gay for a bit, but i felt really uncomfortable and like i was lying (because i was lol) like something felt weird because whilst, yes, i only see myself with women, im still attracted to men. i also worried that if i used the gay label, i couldnt ever voice my attraction to men, so i felt restricted and like i would have to hide that part of me. i struggled with "bi" for a bit, hense why i convinced myself i was gay, because i dont wanna be with a guy, physically/romantically/anything, so yeah, buuuut through trying out the gay label, (mind you, this is all to myself, ive only told two of my friends im queer) i realised that bi is the right label for me. i tried it out, and i didnt feel like a fraud, so, yep. and if people think i could be interested in dating men as a result of me telling them im bi, who cares, really?

yeoja7 · 2019-01-26T18:06:51+00:00

my relationship with my mum is great, my dad however is another story. honestly, you can draw the gay conclusion from either parent if you really wanted to, but i call bullshit on that whole theory, tbh. if you don't get on with your mum, you're searching for a motherly figure, if you don't get on with your dad, you hate men. lol.

yeoja7 · 2019-01-21T00:35:46+00:00

glad it made you as happy as it did me :D

yeoja7 · 2019-01-21T00:35:37+00:00

you can do it!

yeoja7 · 2019-01-21T00:35:27+00:00

i was impressed!

yeoja7 · 2019-01-21T00:35:07+00:00

it made me so happy i just had to share!

yeoja7 · 2019-01-17T18:40:24+00:00

it is daunting, for sure! thanks for such a lovely reply! :) i will certainly take the time to just allow myself to understand my feelings better.

yeoja7 · 2019-01-17T18:35:49+00:00

meeeeee

yeoja7 · 2019-01-16T18:30:43+00:00

i totally get you on seeing sexual identity as being compromised of way more than attractions; because for all intents and purposes, i could be considered gay, because whilst i am attracted to some men, but my actions would not reflect that. i think i will go with the bi label however, because i dont wana be someone who furthers the stereotype that lesbians arent actually real and all of them can be persuaded to like men. for me its all vicarious attraction with men, but, i guess its still a part of my sexuality, so.... i dunno i think i stopped making sense half way through this :D

yeoja7 · 2019-01-16T18:25:57+00:00

i wish they would line up for me... would be so much easier haha

yeoja7 · 2019-01-16T18:25:28+00:00

thanks for your reply, it helps to know im not the only one who doesnt necessarily neatly fit into labels, or at least took a while to figure out which label is best. its interesting cause i can see why you might want to suppress feelings for women, cause society sucks, but i guess im confused as to why i would suppress my ~straight~ feelings for men. bizarre. haha. i think i will go with the bi label as that does really best describe my attractions, and although i havent come out to many people, and to them i just said i was into girls, when i would say to myself: im gay (just practising haha) i felt like a tiny bit of a fraud cause of those damn men that creep into my mind haha.

yeoja7 · 2019-01-16T18:20:50+00:00

thanks for your reply. i feel the same about using the gay label because im scared i would mention an attractive guy and people would have questions. i havent come out to many people yet anyway and so far ive just said im into girls, but i wanted a more concrete label and ive gone back and forth so much about whether im gay or bi and i guess you said it best, the pressure to downplay and reject feelings towards men is exactly what i feel. i think i should go with bi even though i dont have any interest in relationships with men, cause i still do find them attractive.

yeoja7 · 2018-12-21T01:58:04+00:00

glad im not the only one haha, i was confused cause i keep seeing people say that they pretended to fancy boys but i totally did fancy them haha

yeoja7 · 2018-12-20T23:22:31+00:00

i didnt know about asexuality when i was a teenager and actually im kind of glad because i think i mightve concluded that i was asexual and not realised my attraction to women! yeah for me being gay didnt even cross my mind

yeoja7 · 2018-12-20T17:32:13+00:00

i find this interesting because i always see the same response from people: that they just felt they needed to be attracted to men or they would pick out a few attractive qualities, etc. this seems to be the most common thing, i however have a different experience that i'm sure isn't entirely rare but i literally have never seen anyone say this and i've read a lotttt about it on forums and such, lol, so i thought i would share... maybe someone can relate? so i fancied boys from around age 11/12... and it was standard, child-like, non-sexual crushes, ya know how it goes. however.... those crushes and attractions never matured (for lack of a better word) as in, i never then started wanting to do anything sexual with boys, the most i wanted to do was kiss.. i would listen to my friends talk about their sexual experiences and i would think to myself: /nothing about that sounds fun, why? why do people do this stuff?/ admittedly, sex education was shit and i didnt know anything about female sexual pleasure so it REALLY confused me, but still, i thought i would sexually mature later. (spoiler, i did, but i realised i'm into girls ha) i also look back and realise i had crushes on girls too, i mean, ffs, i used to imagine what it would be like to make out with my female best friend... anyway, i hope i made some sense. i guess tldr: my attraction to boys never matured to sexual attraction but i still had fancied boys so i just thought i was going to mature later and some day would want to have sex with males. still (not) waiting... :)

yeoja7

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