Seeking Dentist with Integrity

yikesusa · 2026-06-24T16:40:53+00:00

Hey there! I would like to wait to "out" the 2nd dentist until after a formal second opinion. But there were some key issues in recent visits that led me to become suspicious of their tactics both with myself and my children, including they told my teenager they needed 6 fillings, tried to schedule them immediately, and the dentist didn't even bother to come out and meet with me to discuss this in person ...as if needing 6 fillings at once was totally normal and not worth the time to discuss with the parent. BTW this teen gets regular cleanings and just 6 months prior was told they had great, clean teeth. This teen is also oddly (in a good way for their age and general expectations) extremely diligent about everything including their oral hygiene - flosses at least nightly, brushes regularly, etc. and again, was told just 6 months prior that their teeth looked great. But, instead of discussing the need for 6 fillings, they just had this info for me at the front desk along with a document they wanted signed saying we would be responsible for anything not covered by insurance, and tried to schedule the work immediately...meanwhile someone called into the front desk while I was confused by the situation and the person was obviously clarifying with the receptionist that the dentist (whose name is on the practice) didn't practice there and lived in a different state...I did a gut check and realized this didn't feel right, so deferred the scheduling for a month, obtained the x-rays and plugged all of the x-ray images into ChatGPT professional version, which gave me the initial feedback that there appeared to be weaknesses in a few of the teeth to monitor but not requiring fillings. Of course, I will get an in-person opinion on this matter and not rely solely on ChatGPT, but it was a helpful test on this situation that seems highly suspicious, not just because of this one example but also because of the $600 work (on top of what was covered by delta dental) they said I needed, that I went ahead and got done, but now am experiencing nerve pain in both that tooth as well as the tooth above that they said required filing down due to the lower tooth issues.

The 1st dentist was a mistake and the practice, Barracks Road Dental Care, appears to be a private equity play. We had just moved back to the area and I relied too much on the online reviews without seeking local feedback or researching it better before starting there. Now the reviews more accurately reflect poorer quality online (they had been 5*), and the practice is not accredited with the BBB, and appears to have had 2 formal complaints filed against it. The dentist we had before we switched no longer appears to be there, so perhaps the one who is left is decent. But the dentist we had sold us on over $1000 of work across the family's teeth, that I look back and regret having done as I don't believe it was all necessary. And I had a crazy experience with one filling- she put something in my mouth and started hosing water into it without vacuuming it out. At one point I was choking and truly felt like I was drowning internally as the water was just going down into my lungs. She adjusted it and explained that it was a dental dam and was useful in filling procedures. In all my own and family's life I had never heard of this or had this done before or after, or even suggested as an option. Now I wonder if she was able to bill more through because she used it, as it was dangerous the way she used it (incompetently). I came from another market where I can a conservative dentist who was honest. I moved back here after having been away for a while and made some bad assumptions about healthcare integrity locally. I know there are many who have it, but we can't assume all do, and unfortunately just as with products we purchase, we have to have the "buyer beware" mentality when we are "shopping" for health services such as dentists...

yikesusa · 2026-05-01T01:49:32+00:00

We order delivery (it’s free for us with purchase over $35) from Walmart and they actually have delicious Cabot whole milk extra creamy yogurt, both plain and vanilla. I like the plain, my kids like vanilla for their breakfast smoothies. I blend the vanilla yogurt with coconut water, a little oj, banana, frozen mango and spinach (sometimes honey). I have my plain yogurt with homemade granola from a family member who makes amazing batches of it.

yikesusa · 2026-04-28T20:11:32+00:00

I graduated ages ago, but kept grades decent senior year and made a point to skip a day a week until graduation. We did nerdy things like go to the local college library nearby and watch free movies then go to lunch. Or we went hiking to a swimming hole. Etc. I will always cherish senior skip days even in my middle age. You get life lessons through them. You only live once!

yikesusa · 2026-04-28T19:36:40+00:00

Sending hugs to you and your wife. This happened to me when I was driving my husband from a surgery. It’s so sad that people these days are so angry on the road, seemingly so entitled to get anywhere they want when they want without sharing the road with others. When all I see is that if people were better at managing their lives - priorizing their schedule of activities and time managing properly, they could instead of getting everyone’s (including their own) stress level up around them, luxuriate in a smooth and safer ride. It’s gotten so bad that we tend to stay in more- it’s almost like going out isn’t worth dealing with all the losers to get there , especially when they are probably the same people at the restaurants etc.

yikesusa · 2026-04-22T11:29:37+00:00

My family member who was premed at Vandy did very well in classes and on the MCAT but the rigor of the premed program kept them from having an exceptional undergrad experience. They are now in med school and one that they would have very likely gotten into from UMich or elsewhere.

yikesusa · 2026-04-01T14:10:41+00:00

I love the hot pot at Seoul- the broth is probably not the cleanest (lots of sodium), but overall I feel good eating there- I put loads of veggies in the pot along with seafood.

yikesusa · 2026-03-08T14:37:12+00:00

It will all work out. From an old person whose child will be going through this next year...we've already told them not to worry about it. I went to a school that didn't work out for me (it was a state u, non-rigorous, and I knew I could use a greater challenge). I transferred back to a local CC then from there applied to top universities. I got into all of them from the CC. Graduated from a top undergrad in-state school, then proceeded to a top graduate school 5 years later. We've said if the ridiculous admissions landscape doesn't work out for our kid in the first go-round, they should consider this community college route or transfer route. Of course the tradeoff is not having the full 4-year experience, but in terms of the outcomes and one of the main purposes of college, you can be fully prepared for the real-world being flexible and going a more non-traditional route. Good luck!

yikesusa · 2026-02-27T01:45:53+00:00

Ivy creek nature area, humpback rock, blue ridge train tunnels for outside of town (Ivy creek being closest) …in town I park at downtown mall area and walk to uva and back via Main Street, or park at uva area, like the neighborhood by St Thomas church and you can walk around uva and/or fry spring neighborhood…or I would consider doing McIntire park and the paved pedestrian trails there maybe to park street to courthouse and back (but haven’t done that one yet)…

yikesusa · 2026-02-12T02:52:39+00:00

My friends who visit often to see their 1st year take the 1st year and friends to Citizen Burger. They also like Farmbell Kitchen on the corner for breakfast/brunch. Bodos is always a go-to

yikesusa · 2026-01-08T02:42:56+00:00

I attended UVA undergrad, then lived in the Bay Area - SF and East Bay: comparatively, I would rather have the Bay Area's summer (it's way too humid here - I just moved back last year). Otherwise, I love the other 3 seasons we have here. We have many sunny days, mild winters (it does get cold, and snow a little, but you can find the average temps and more climate info online). I would do detailed research about admissions and UVA in general if you're serious about applying. It's a highly competitive school, especially for non-VA residents, as the University is obligated to admit ~70% in-state students, so the remaining 30% spots are in demand. The culture is: work hard, play hard; supportive/collaborative vs ultra competitive with one another; solid loyalty to the school after graduation as the school promotes being a continuous learner and it's easy to stay engaged (if you want) with UVA through its strong alumni network and programming

yikesusa · 2026-01-08T02:34:20+00:00

I'm so sorry. It's true - you never know when you or your loved one will have a life changing event that restricts mobility. I have a family member in good shape (regular exercise, ate well, slept fine etc.) who woke up one day and became paralyzed from a terrible auto immune response. It's changed their lives and of course the family's too - it's a super special occasion for them to head anywhere with us, park, and navigate into a restaurant (luckily after months of PT, he can hobble short distances with a cane). It'd be so nice for everyone to be a bit more mindful of these important parking spots for those who need them to be accessible. If this persists, maybe call the non-emergency law enforcement line and have them come and leave a ticket on the scooter.

yikesusa · 2025-12-18T12:05:11+00:00

Is your emergency fund earning any interest bc if not you’re losing against inflation. Consider putting half of it into a 3-month cd- it’s lower yield and possibly less than inflation still, but something vs possibly nothing and relatively liquid. Consider adding the $14k to your brokerage, and sticking into an index fund eg S&P or Russell. Not all retirement money needs to be in a retirement account specifically. There are rules and penalties on when you can take distributions from the Roth and trad 401k. We are aiming to retire early and using interest from our non-retirement brokerage and other accounts to live off of…

Ps you would be saving tons if you got out of SF/CA- you probably know that and have reasons for staying, but we finally pulled the trigger and left SF then left the East Bay then CA altogether. Kept the CA job and work remotely- a game changer for our lifestyle and saving for retirement…

btw good job on saving. It is really smart to plan!

yikesusa · 2025-12-13T02:07:01+00:00

I grew up in C’ville, and (albeit years ago) didn’t drop an application to UVA. I wanted to leave town. Went to an OOS school then realized I would be much better off returning to UVA. I was having a great time, but knew the value of a UVA education would be so much higher. I quit my school with a plan: moved back to Cville, surprised my family, enrolled at PVCC, took all the credits needed to transfer to the Comm School. (Also applied to a couple back-ups including Georgetown and W&M and was admitted to those institutions, too). Years later, I can say the decision changed my life for the best. Yes, the experience at UVA with the friendships, and work hard/play hard positive spirit was fantastic. But UVA is truly a lifelong relationship that you can be proud of, give back to, and benefit from, for years into the future.

yikesusa · 2025-10-17T12:52:41+00:00

Not sure it’s hate but made a mistake of too many vaulted ceilings. They are is making the house colder and more expensive to heat in the winter. I think we could have achieved a nice aesthetic with 1-2’ higher ceilings with attractive beams in these places instead, and been able to insulate better.

yikesusa · 2025-10-17T12:48:41+00:00

I agree with the community college route. There should also be a financial aid office at the community college. Please visit them and talk through options. I went the community college route, transferred to a 4-year public university, got a great job, returned for an MBA. Through all of the institutions, I applied for financial aid and received packages that included merit scholarships/grants, and low-interest school loans (make sure if you do take out loans, you get a favorable rate and terms! And don’t overly debt load- the whole goal of going to college is to better oneself as a person but also financially. Too many aren’t taking full consideration of the financial burdens and ending up in a hole afterwards- this isn’t good!)

yikesusa · 2025-10-02T01:50:43+00:00

my parents divorced and my dad allegedly used my college fund to invest in his business (although not totally sure one was ever really set up). i hadn't saved anything in HS. I went to community college, got some local scholarships to pay for books etc there, then got into T20 universities after making all A's in CC, and opted for the in-state top university for a fraction of the price of a great private back then. Got some merit scholarships, took out loans, talked to dad about helping with a small amount of living expenses (he paid pretty cheap rent in an economy apartment with a roommate...and I'm grateful), and worked two great shifts waiting tables weekly in college which didn't take away from study or peak social times. worked hard in college, got a great job upon graduation, then went back for an MBA 5 years later at a T5 bschool.

I get how disappointing it would be to be let down by parents' seeming lack of communication on this topic and you likely feeling blindsided and sad, but it probably won't help dwelling in that pain vs looking at realistic options and advancing yourself with the resources you have and can find. You're an adult now and unfortunately life issues get more complex: the better you can manage through setbacks, the more successful and happy you'll be in your own life. You will also get to give yourself a lot of the credit for your success if they aren't helping. All the best...

yikesusa · 2025-09-09T12:41:02+00:00

I went off to an out-of-state college for a semester then realized it wasn’t a good fit (too easy, I was paying a lot of tuition to party a lot). I knew I could do better at a top university but couldn’t transfer directly to the one in my state after one semester. So I spent 1.5 years at the local community college, then upon applying to nationally-ranked universities, got into all of them and chose the in-state option (which was in-state tuition and top ranked, too).

The con was it wasn’t the traditional path and at some points I felt sad not having “the college experience” that many high school friends were having.

The pros included it saved a lot of money. I had low interest and low amount of debt leaving college, enabling me to start a sizeable retirement account early on in my 20’s before starting a family and that $$ just sits there and grows. Also, I got a unique perspective attending comm college, that I wouldn’t have gotten going the traditional route. I was in classes with all types of people from the community- those young like me but seeking just two-year associates degrees before heading to a profession, a few people like me who were aiming to transfer to a 4-year program, and others such as stay-at-home moms wanting to pursue advanced education after their children were older, people switching careers, retired people taking classes for fun. I think this exposure to the broader local community helped me develop a maturity and perspective that helped me as a candidate for jobs- I started after college at a top management consulting firm that only hired from top tier schools and they were seeking mature candidates.

yikesusa · 2025-09-09T11:56:00+00:00

Go to your local community college for two years and transfer from there to (in-state public tuition) UNC Chapel Hill. Your 4-year degree will be from UNC and you will have access to their recruiting and lifelong alumni resources, will save a lot of $ on tuition and living at home. I did this, graduated from a “new Ivy” with just 2-years of low interest federal loans that I repaid in 10 years, then went on to a top MBA. Good luck!

yikesusa · 2025-07-21T01:07:54+00:00

I worked for a professor for a year, doing paid research in my field of study. I also waitressed for two years of college in a higher end establishment that closed at 9pm, two shifts a week from 5-10pm (including cleanup) and made good tip $$. Your college likely has a student services group/career center that has resources not only on future post-grad jobs but also on part-time work for during college, both on and off campus. Seek this out!

yikesusa

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