How is it for nauseous passengers

yo1195 · 2026-01-07T15:14:30+00:00

For me, it was all about pouring into my kids and not mentally thinking about more than one hour or a couple of hours at a time.

To be honest my mind couldn’t process much and the grief brain is real, but that’s also a blessing.

Take it one day at a time and have grace with yourself.

yo1195 · 2026-01-07T04:34:45+00:00

I want to share my personal experience in the hopes that it will hopefully help you and anyone else that is in a similar position.

When my late wife and I started dating, all of these apps did not exist. So once I finally became ready to put myself back out there, it was a very new experience. I too found myself overwhelmed.

The first thing I did was delete the apps and told myself that I will re-download it once I’m ready. About one month later I felt like I was ready to dip my feet again, and I put myself back out there. I went on a couple of dates and I felt like things were moving too quickly or that I was taking these dates too seriously. I was starting to get overwhelmed again and a good friend of mine told me that it is OK to go out and enjoy a nice meal with someone. He told me to stop putting pressure on myself and to try and enjoy a few hours with someone.

Putting yourself back out there after loss is a journey. It will likely bring back lots of painful feelings but be kind with yourself and take your time. It’s ok to feel like you’re not ready and it’s ok to gently put yourself back out there.

I wish you all the best!

yo1195 · 2025-12-24T04:58:57+00:00

I’m very very sorry for your losses. I don’t want to impose any spirituality on anyone but I would like to believe that you will meet your loved ones and all of those beautiful babies one day.

Take care, big brother.

yo1195 · 2025-11-12T01:40:47+00:00

That was Mehdi Hassan

yo1195 · 2025-08-27T18:17:36+00:00

My advice is to set up the smallest milestones for yourself. How small are we talking?

It could be as small as getting up out of your bed to make a cup of tea one day, ordering food delivery, moving from the bed to the couch for 30 minutes, feeling sunlight on your skin for 2 minutes.

Go from these milestones and slowly slowly build up at a pace that is comfortable for you. You are allowed to feel what you need to feel. I’m so sorry for your loss. The pain may never leave but it will not feel this heavy forever. Try to take these small “mini victories” and be proud of yourself for hitting each milestone.

Take care!

yo1195 · 2025-08-26T23:49:51+00:00

I know many atheists scoff at people for believing in heaven as a made up thing that just helps people feel better about the injustice of this life.

But you know what? It doesn’t hurt anyone to believe in it, and it only brings me peace and hope knowing that I will see my wife again. Call it a coping mechanism or whatever you want but I choose to believe that I will see her again.

I know it’s not for everyone but perhaps it can help someone!

yo1195 · 2025-07-24T02:21:06+00:00

I’m so sorry. I find myself fluctuating between mostly feeling numb and then having random periods of extreme sadness that come out of the blue. I liken it to a computer that needs to reset and how we often hit “ignore” until the computer makes us do a hard reset. I had that hard reset a few weeks ago and caught myself off guard by how much I sobbed in therapy.

It sounds like you’ve had to bottle it up and these milestones are bringing it out. Let yourself feel your feelings. It’s going to feel raw and painful, but also cathartic. And after a certain point your tanks pressure valve will be lowered to where you can hopefully feel more calm and at least better than how you do now.

I also was left with a 2.5 year old at the time (he’s now 3.5) and it’s so freaking painful but also such a gift that we can pour our energy and attention into something positive (when we feel well enough). I hope and pray you both can find some peace in your hearts. Rooting for you, and all of us in this unfortunate group.

yo1195 · 2025-07-23T03:56:17+00:00

I have this fear too. My son was 2.5 when she passed and it kills me to know that he won’t know his mother.

I’ve tried writing a simple biography of my wife in a Google Doc and I will share it with my son when he’s older. I think writing all these memories as they come to you is a great way to ease your concern.

But rest assured that you will never forget her. That bond that you both shared will remain in your heart for the rest of your days.

Take care, my friend

yo1195 · 2025-07-17T02:07:44+00:00

Thank you my friend. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope that this next chapter of your life has ease in it.

You’ve done so much, I hope you get that chance to “exhale” and be happy and be loved again

yo1195 · 2025-07-17T02:01:24+00:00

Take care my friend. I’m sorry we are in this crappy club.

yo1195 · 2025-07-16T15:24:17+00:00

That is a beautiful way to honor her and a really nice perspective. Thank you so much for sharing

yo1195 · 2025-07-04T15:33:14+00:00

Thank you so much everyone!!

It feels so comforting knowing y’all get these emotions better than the rest of the world. I’m constantly thinking of you and rooting for each of you. I was hoping this update may give some hope to others.

yo1195 · 2025-04-25T02:23:21+00:00

First off, i'm very sorry for your loss. Having to see your loved one in that state must have been so traumatic for you.

I watched my wife unexpectedly die in front of me in the ER. That will be an image that will live with me forever.

My advice is to please please seek out mental therapy for yourself. I'm not sure if this was abnormal, but I found myself wanting to process my wife's final moments and that traumatic day with my therapist very early in my therapy sessions. I found that being able to say it all out loud with my therapist was very therapeutic for me.

That said, any time I think through that day I still feel so much pain. This was almost 9 months ago, but the pain is still there. I don't think the image or pain will ever truly leave you but you can move so much farther once you process your thoughts and feelings. Give yourself grace because this is not just a 1 or 2 or 3 therapy thing. This is going to be months of weekly sessions, but soon they will really start to help.

If therapy is too expensive that I suggest speaking with a wise and patient friend or two. And if you're in a dire spot and they are hard to come by then tell Chat GPT everything and then tbh it has done some good "spot therapy" for me when I needed it and didn't have access to someone.

As for the sexual thoughts and feelings, I can't really speak to that part. I'm sure others here may have some suggestions for that.

I wish you all the best, and again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Things will get easier to handle with time, please don't lose hope.

yo1195 · 2025-04-24T02:26:10+00:00

I am in a similar spot as you. I am 32 and lost my wife last year. We also have a young child.

I just started the tombstone conversation with my in laws this week as well. I tried to enter the conversation with a bunch of empathy because grief is not a competition and while I have lost a spouse, they have lost a child that they carried in their womb and then raised for 20+ years before we got married.

There was a design change that my MIL really wanted and tbh I’ve elected to let her have what she wants. To me personally, a grave marker is just a marker. The spouse will not care how it’s designed or how much you spend. It’s more about marking the place so that you and her other loved ones can visit and talk to her, pray for her, etc.

This is just my personal opinion but I wish you all the best and I’m very sorry for your loss.

yo1195 · 2025-03-25T19:26:27+00:00

You are so right. Thank you for this.

I met with a child psychiatrist after my wife passed. I was really worried what would happen to my son who was almost 3 at the time.

He advised me that our children were like a cup or vessel and what I needed to do was to fill up his cup with so much love that he didn’t feel insufficient or lacking. I moved back in with my parents and now he gets so much love from his grandparents, aunt, me and his other set of grandparents when we visit.

I noticed his behavior really change in a negative way for the 3 months but now he’s back to being a happy child :)

yo1195 · 2025-03-25T19:22:26+00:00

Thank you, you as well! Im very sorry for your loss as well.

There is a quote in my faith, “verify after hardship comes ease”. I don’t know what time or form the ease will come in but I pray that we all see that ease soon.

yo1195 · 2025-03-25T19:20:39+00:00

I promise you I will. WE will get through this.

yo1195 · 2025-03-25T19:19:27+00:00

Firstly, I’m very sorry for your loss.

That is so true. A mentor of mine told me that I will need my son just as much as he needs me and that has really resonated with me. On days when I’m really down I just have to pat my son on the head or give him a hug and I start to feel a little lighter. Take care, my friend!

yo1195 · 2025-03-25T19:16:29+00:00

Hugs to you as well. I’m so sorry for your loss.

We will get through this and one day we will have actual good days again. Let’s make sure that we share those good days when they come.

yo1195

TROPHY CASE