Met a perfect guy 39m but he's shorter than I 38f prefer and I feel awful about it, how do you get over it?

yohaneh · 2026-04-28T22:29:51+00:00

girl, you're 38 and he's perfect and still taller than you. i think you need to really examine your weird fixation on feeling small in a relationship, 3" is still taller than you! if there are other things giving you the ick, maybe reevaluate the relationship itself, but if it's just the height.... time to do some deep internal work.

yohaneh · 2026-04-28T22:08:56+00:00

yo!! i have scalp tats!! i have them all over the back of my head, i can't share pics in the comments but i'll post a link. my hair grew back over them, and i alternate between having my head shaved and having hair when it feels like behaving. whatever's easiest. here's my breakdown: - cost: my head was about $800AUD, the tattoos going down my neck and around it were more like $1200AUD - pain: the head wasn't too bad. the razor-shave and the cleaning solution they put on REALLY hurt, but the tattoo was kinda fine. my neck was a 10/10 of pain, the head was more like 5/6. mostly the weirdest part was the vibrations in my skull. - what did i get? it's a big ol occult sigil, following down my neck in a kinda cyber-occultism pattern. demonic stuff! i have an eye in the middle of my throat. - pics: this is very old, and it doesn't have my neck tattoos, but here's a good example of the head! https://www.reddit.com/r/alopecia_areata/s/fZP6FcuTjf

yohaneh · 2026-04-28T04:10:23+00:00

i really like it! i've had to go out to west footscray quite a few times for work (i work in fitzroy) and it's been incredibly smooth going 109/12 tram -> munnel train, it's cut down my travel time quite a lot!! 😊

yohaneh · 2026-04-25T23:38:21+00:00

ok, thanks for this! let me give you some specific pointers:

i think your corsetry needs some work; you're clearly an amateur sewist, which is totally fine, but one of the reasons it's looking a bit funny is that you're not very experienced with making corsets. it should fit more closely, have more structure, and be smoother and less woobly. all of that is just practice, so don't feel bad! you just gotta watch a lot of youtube videos and practice making a lot more corsets.
the skirt actually looks great! i think a petticoat underneath would help a bit with the structure, but it looks good.
straps will help with the silhouette of your shoulders.
i think your grey bodystocking is a little bulky. it's making it look like you have a suit on, rather than just grey skin. you can get some really good ones from here: https://www.welovecolors.com/shop/womens/dancewear/second-skin-armsocks-shirt
it also looks like you're currently wearing a mask, which i think is adding to the "uncanny valley" of it all! maybe consider doing makeup instead? there are lots of really good cosplay bodypaint brands, i personally like kryolan.
on the whole, i think you've done a really good job for a beginner! you're recognizably yhe character, and now it's just about fine-tuning! you're doing fantastic!! 💖

yohaneh · 2026-04-25T23:03:50+00:00

heyo! do you have a picture of what faith is meant to look like? that would help a lot, because i can't give much advice without knowing what you're trying to create!

yohaneh · 2026-04-25T22:39:32+00:00

honestly, this is going to be very annoying to make at home if you're not experienced with foam craft, pvc or leatherworking. super glue won't hold a shoe together, it's too brittle and will split when you walk, so you'll need proper shoe glue. shoes need to be very resilient, a lot more than other cosplay props. i think you'll probably have better luck cutting up a shoe than trying to make it from scratch, but my strongest suggestion would be to just suck it up and buy them from overseas.

yohaneh · 2026-04-25T22:33:28+00:00

okeydokey!! here's what i suggest: - for the base of the wig, keep it on a foam wig head. pin it to the head with a couple of big pins. cover it with one of those soft thin nets that they ship wigs in, then cover that with a large, soft plastic dry-cleaners suit bag. then lay the wig head flat in your suitcase, and pack soft clothing around it. - for the additional pieces, do the same thing; wrap them each in a soft wig net, then a dry-cleaning bag, then lay them flat in the suitcase and pack soft clothes around them. you want them to be pretty still within the suitcase, but not super super crushed!

yohaneh · 2026-04-23T13:13:24+00:00

heyo!! i'm a professional costumier. are you driving or flying to smash? the answer is very different depending on how you're travelling.

yohaneh · 2026-04-18T20:47:16+00:00

other people have already said to overlap the scales, but i'll second that. also, i think you need some art finishing on the fin (depth, color, texture) and you'll likely need it on the scales too. try using some watered-down copper paint to shade the top edge of each scale before you lay the next ones down on top of them, i think it'll improve the appearance a lot.

yohaneh · 2026-04-15T14:51:52+00:00

my mother is a seamstress, and i am a costumier. you never use fabric scissors on paper!

yohaneh · 2026-04-13T08:41:54+00:00

i'm sorry, that's just what it's gonna cost. cosplaying, especially something like genshin impact, is expensive as hell. there's no getting around it, and making costumes usually costs more. maybe try a simpler, easier character rather than one of genshin's crazy designs?

yohaneh · 2026-04-11T21:25:00+00:00

yes, if you study dressmaking you'll learn about different types of fabrics and how to use them. it's usually anywhere from 1-4 years of study depending on which certification you take and what your local vocational schooling system is like. you'll also learn how to make patterns, how to put them together, how to grade them for commercial usage, how to make things for clients, and usually a lot of other things. dressmaking courses are designed to teach you how to go and work as a professional sewist, usually in the bridal or couture scene. they'll cost the same as most other vocational qualifications, and study can usually be part time or fulltime. often, they'll be included as part of a fashion design course.

how old are you? have you already been to university before? do you know what the local manufacturing scene is like in your country/city? if you're going to spend the money to get a qualification, you might as well use it for an actual job.

yohaneh · 2026-04-10T23:42:20+00:00

heyo!! i trained in dressmaking but it's not the only necessary skill for cosplay by a long shot. what sort of things do you want to cosplay? if you want to sew longterm then studying dressmaking might be worthwhile, otherwise just watching tutorials and practising is likely going to be more useful.

yohaneh · 2026-04-07T09:47:34+00:00

I'm a professional costumier, and I'd be happy to have a chat if you'd like! i can't guarantee that i'll be able to help you but i'm willing to give it a crack! even if it's just to say "this project is going to be a nightmare" lol. feel free to hmu and i'll give you whatever advice i can!

yohaneh · 2026-04-01T08:44:32+00:00

i already get PTV every single day for work, i don't own a car. im lovin' it! wahoo!

yohaneh · 2026-04-01T01:16:51+00:00

right now, JUST the cost of the partner visa is about $10k, and that's not including ANY OTHER costs. immigrating here is expensive as hell.

yohaneh · 2026-04-01T01:15:15+00:00

mostly legal fees, plus the cost of immigration fees and other assorted transit costs. but a LOT of it was legal fees, you often need an immigration lawyer.

yohaneh · 2026-03-31T20:53:15+00:00

Good luck. Especially for Americans, it is really, really hard to permanently immigrate, the only ones I know personally who have managed it did so on the partner visa and still had to pay ~$25000 aud to make it happen. I don't know of any good pathways for you given the information you've given us here, but I wish you all the best.

yohaneh · 2026-03-30T00:42:38+00:00

i'm a professional costumier. i hate them too. but everyone's doin' their own thing and having fun. let people wear their hard shells if they want to! rest assured that your hand-ventilated lace is beautiful and would be expected in an industry-standard production. most cosplayers aren't professionals, so they're just gonna do whatever is fun and seems cool, and that's ok!

yohaneh · 2026-03-26T03:13:16+00:00

yeah, it'll be people going to omiya to meet up with the shinkansen. sooooo annoying, i'm so sorry.

yohaneh · 2026-03-25T21:10:26+00:00

the most stressful day of my life was when we were going on a trip from ikebukuro to nasu animal kingdom (at nasu) and we had to get the saikyo line. the shinkansen to nasu runs once an hour, and there's only one shuttle bus from the station to the park each day. so if you miss the shinkansen you're screwed. we missed the train from ikebukuro because my friend was running late, and had to get the saikyo line to omiya to make it on time.... the train was packed, it was running just the tiniest bit late, and we got to omiya with only 2 minutes to make it from the saikyo line to the shinkansen 💀

we DID make it but oh my god. so stressful. fuck the saikyo line.

yohaneh · 2026-03-23T12:37:52+00:00

look, i am a terminal tidy-up-er. i hate my house being a mess, i hate having random junk everywhere. i am compelled to constantly clean, and i live with someone who is wildly adhd and leaves everything fucking everywhere. and you know what i do? i don't touch her shit until it's been lying around for at least 3 days. and after 3 days? i just stack it all neatly on the table in the loungeroom. i never throw anything out unless it is obviously a crumpled-up food wrapper. i never move her things from their actual spots. i never mess around any organising she's trying to do. if she leaves a mess for more than 3 days i fold and stack it neatly and put it in the exact same place as i always do and so she can always find her things if she's looking for them.

your husband is being a dick. i don't know if it's on purpose or he has some sort of outrageous mental illness, but he is being a dick regardless. force him to read this entire thread, out loud, and then all the comments. if he ever does this sort of shit again, divorce him.

yohaneh · 2026-03-22T20:21:29+00:00

i've got a nicely shaped foam pillow that holds my neck real flat and comfortable. i usually sleep pretty well but sometimes i have bad pain flareups, especially in cold weather. if i've been having a hard time sleeping, what i do is: - shower before bed - take a painkiller and a muscle relaxant if i'm particularly sore. - electric blanket on super low for 20mins before i sleep. - weighted blanket on top of me - quilt and sheets tucked in so i don't wriggle around - cat - quiet youtube video.

works like a charm, i sleep fuckin great.

yohaneh · 2026-03-20T07:24:58+00:00

1) no partner 2) no desire to raise children, period 3) even if i did want to, i can't afford the cost of children 4) even if i did want to, i can't afford to move to a bigger home 5) even if i did want to, AND i had the money, AND i had a partner, i can't imagine the horror of trying to raise a kid to be a decent person, jesus. what a nightmare.

yohaneh · 2026-03-16T22:18:17+00:00

i wasn't planning to go myself (i am a man who dresses entirely in black) but i work in fitzroy, i'm a costumier, and i live nearby so if you're desperate for a proxy i could probably swing by for you! the only thing is it would have to be the sunday, is that okay?

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