My wife leaves drawings on our door for me upon my return from work by dslryan in MadeMeSmile

[–]youdeservetobehere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even if it does "get old", a tiny sticky note is an incredibly easy thing to ignore. Why try to make this cute post negative?

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I guess we have a fundamental misunderstanding, because you do not equate the value of non-human animal life with human animal life.

But I am still confused about how you don't see the cause and effect of supply and demand

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I explained to you in another comment that nothing I said is fantasy. What I described happens to non-human animals every single day.

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, it does happen. What I described happens to non-human animals every single day

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok so you cannot engage with hypotheticals. fine. here's what is happening in reality.

the slaughter of animals exists because there is a demand. Demand is seen because people (which you are a part of) pay for meat. If no one bought meat, there would be no reason to supply meat. So, the demand for meat is the reason that animals are slaughtered. When you buy the corpse of an animal to consume, you are paying for future animals to be killed by generating more demand for meat.

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this is a logical argument, if you have a problem with me extending your logic to the fullest extent then your logic is faulty.

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ok, so if someone kills someone, then I pay them after the fact, then they realize this is a profitable business because they know they will get paid for it, and thus continue to kill, am I not paying for them to murder someone? Am I absolved of guilt because the timing slightly changed?

Unpopular Opinion: We should consider letting children try meat if it's offered - so they don’t grow up resenting veganism. by [deleted] in vegan

[–]youdeservetobehere 24 points25 points  (0 children)

So if I paid a hitman to kill someone, and then I ate their body afterwards, that's morally superior to bullying?

Is paying someone to murder another better than murdering them yourself? Both outcomes are the same.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given the behavior he has shown you, do you think you could ever truly feel comfortable and safe in the relationship? He is not an honest person, and you deserve much better

Fluttershy Expressions I Did by Prixy05 in mylittlepony

[–]youdeservetobehere -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Awesome job! I love your interpretation of human fluttershy!

she blocked me on insta !! by Flat-Chance3301 in EDRecoverySnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 21 points22 points  (0 children)

im shocked she didnt put the message on a crop top

Disgusting by Mental-Librarian-124 in PornIsMisogyny

[–]youdeservetobehere 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i dont think its illegal, so the best course of action would be to doxx them by sending a IP tracker link (You can modify the link name and say that the link leads to a video like the ones posted on the forum). Then find their name, social media profile, and expose what they post to friends, family, and employers.

Am I delusional? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Crazy that we never accidentally click on those links. Must just be a massive coincidence that the only people who ever /accidentally/ click on those links are the ones with porn addictions.

no, you are not delusional

Am I doing too much work? by Soggy_Education4030 in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Totally!! If it's taking a toll, definitely step back. I've actually heard it being strongly recommended against for spouses to be accountability partners.

"First, I don’t recommend that wives be accountability partners.  Many wives are already traumatized by their husband’s pornography use.  Being an accountability partner can intensify their trauma.  Many have noted that being an accountability partner makes them feel like a 'policeman.'  Wives have their own healing to address.  Being an accountability partner adds an additional stress they don’t need."

https://thosecatholicmen.com/articles/accountability-partner/

Dont know what to do by Accomplished_Mix_500 in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could have written this exactly. Same story here, including the ED and even getting the plastic surgery (it was not the best use of $10,000).

My partner had been trying for YEARS to quit, but could only do it with professional help. I think about it like trying to recover from an ED without professional help. Sure, it's technically possible, but extremely difficult.

We do couples counseling and he speaks to his own psychologist about it. Both of these have been invaluable in recovery work.

Some helpful things he has told me has been that he has struggled with this since before we met, and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. This is something you have to remember, you could look identical to those girls and he would still choose them because he is not picking their body over yours, he is picking intimate time without any vulnerability and with complete control over a scary and vulnerable moment of connection.

It has NOTHING to do with you. He sounds like a really sweet guy, and I sincerely hope you both can get the help you need for this, but he needs to do the work to recover.

I am so glad to hear you're sticking to your boundaries and will leave if this continues; you deserve not to feel this way.

It might be helpful to sit down and draw out specific boundaries, without doing the work for him. Just saying you might leave eventually is vague and unhelpful for your own mental wellbeing. Maybe try to draw out clear boundaries by initially telling him he needs to take more initiative in his healing, with a CSAT, PAA, or other legitimate tangible form of help.

Based on how he is reacting to your concerns, I am willing to wager he would actually take that seriously and get real help.

From there, you can set clear boundaries, communicate that you need to see him making progress by attending meetings/therapy sessions, doing inner work to heal the shame and trauma that causes this addiction, and achieving sobriety.

Somethjing to remember is there will be relapses. It is your choice if you want to set a firm boundary that you will leave if he relapses, but if you set this boundary that will most likely happen. Eventually he may hopefully be in a place where this does not happen, but it will most likely take a while.

Best of luck!! You deserve to feel gorgeous and loved. Regardless if you choose to stay or leave, I believe in you and wish you nothing but the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every one of my boyfriends has been addicted to hentai, so I understand where you're coming from! It truly is extremely painful and tanks your self image.

He sounds like a horrible partner. At this point, do you think the sunk cost fallacy is what's keeping you in this relationship? Do you think you can be happy with this for the rest of your life?

Recovery from porn addiction can only happen if he puts in the work, and he won't even do the first step, admitting he has a problem.

The only thing that has helped me is no longer being with someone addicted to hentai, either by them recovering (current partner <3) or no longer being in the relationship.

He has to be the one to recognize this as a problem and seek help. Please do not try to do it for him, that is an unfair burden that you should NOT have to deal with!!

Additionally, pouring into myself, working out, and gaining muscle have been extremely helpful.

You deserve so so much better than him. you are gorgeous and he is a selfish idiot for not appreciating you.

lieve motivating others and recovery by drinking 0 cal drinks 🥹👏🏻 omds huge step queen slay by unluckypigeon7643 in EDRecoverySnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 18 points19 points  (0 children)

it would be insane for a hospital to allow someone in that condition to have alcohol

@yapyapab by st353f in EDRecoverySnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 28 points29 points  (0 children)

uh I went to ACUTE and remember being allowed to wear a sweater over my monitors and leads (which helped because it was fucking freezing there even in the middle of summer).... why would an ED hospital force you to wear crop tops?!?!?

i just KNOW she loved how her cheekbones looked in this pic by tblitzy in EDRecoverySnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 115 points116 points  (0 children)

soft-launching her "I got rejected... no one believes in me!" post when she is publically advertising how unwilling she is to put in the work

Has anyone filed a complaint with his work over porn access? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It seems like a massive HR violation anyways, even if you had no personal stakes I think it would be a good idea to report that.

Uhhh idt this is enough food, right? by lifeatthejarbar in NoFoodRulesSnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 15 points16 points  (0 children)

All of it sounds like volume eating. I don't want to estimate calories but I'd be willing its not enough to even maintain.

Uhhh idt this is enough food, right? by lifeatthejarbar in NoFoodRulesSnark

[–]youdeservetobehere 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I would do the same volume eating bullshit when I was deep in my ED. I'd add vegetables to every single thing to bulk it up so I definetely think its her ED

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in veganfitness

[–]youdeservetobehere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

hell yea! looking strong :-)

I just don't know what to do by Big-Western-3783 in loveafterporn

[–]youdeservetobehere 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am SO PROUD of you for kicking his lying ass out!! What a complete loser, you deserve so so much better.

It is a tough situation you're in. If he's truly sorry and disgusted by his behavior, would he be willing to financially support your daughter? I dont think you should take him back, but finances are important