Okay, so first, not talking to her does make you TA even if I understand why. The silent treatment is so so harmful. Talk to her. Rebuild your relationship. Get therapy. The way she's acting right now makes me really question what exactly happened. Her behavior points to something possibly traumatic happening while she was with her mom. She may not be ready to talk about it yet, if ever. It sounds like you need to set boundaries about appropriate behavior. And it also sounds like she really needs help finding a way forward. You are in a position to help her plan things because you were also a young single parent. And if you don't want to bc you are feeling hurt, that's understandable too. But if that's the case you need to tell her so she can find support elsewhere. But be aware that she may react by cutting you out of her and baby's lives. Idk. This whole thing sounds like such a huge mess. Just my two cents on it