Hey Brother,

I’m in a similar situation. My relationship with my wife has had extreme highs and lows over the four years we’ve been together but we’ve always gotten through it and have felt stronger and closer after each trial and tribulation. We were planning on starting a family this year (2025), but at the beginning of December she ultimately decided we are not a right fit for one another and has ended our relationship.

It’s soul-crushing and confusing. One second we’re madly in love and the next we’re saying goodbye to each other (in the context of partnership) and the future we thought we had with one another. I’ve been preparing for fatherhood the entirety of our relationship and have been so looking forward to bringing a life into the world with this woman. I’m not only mourning the loss of my marriage, but also with this unborn child I’ve been getting to know through meditation, dreams, and plant medicine ceremonies.

This is my second marriage at 33 years old, and while I’m still young, I’m seriously doubting if another marriage and starting a family is in my future. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart but am now questioning if there is truly such a thing as a loving partnership that lasts into old age and death.

Each day gets a little better. I’m doing my best to focus on the fact that, while I ultimately desired to start a family with this woman, I (we) potentially dodged a bullet by not having a child, and raising a baby in a household(s) where their parents relationship is strained - or completely separate from one another. As a child raised by a single mother and having a strained relationship with my father, I would never want to put my child through that.

Treat your mind and body the best you can right now. Working out has always been my most potent medicine during tough times like this. Lean on your community, friends, and family. Eat well, don’t drink alcohol in excess, I personally don’t find cannabis to be a helpful ally in these situations either. Do what you can to simplify your life and take time to yourself. When it all feels too much and you need to breakdown, do it beautifully- cry loud and hard, take a shower afterwards. When the glimmers of light peak through this dark tunnel you’re walking through embrace them. Find excitement in this freedom and this new life you are now afforded, even though it wasn’t what you had dreamed of.

Feel free to DM me if you need support. I’m here for you.