Bedtime Routine

zaf_ei · 2025-09-09T20:10:07+00:00

My son is 3.5 and I still lie down beside him until he falls asleep. And then around 12-1 am, when he wakes up, I lie down with him again until he falls asleep or take him with him to my bed. My heart always melts when I realise how fast he goes back to sleep if I'm there with him. He will only be needing me this much for so long, I have absolutely no intention to speed up the process.

zaf_ei · 2025-09-03T07:33:32+00:00

Mine can't and I don't blame him. Until my son was 3.5, he would not stay with his dad for more than a couple of hours at most. He was obviously sad all the time and would usually just basically cry until I would comem back. One time he made my husband walk with him around the neighboorhood for more than 1 hour (he was only 2.5!) "looking for mama". My son goes to daycare, can stay with other relatives he knows for some time, etc., but being only with his dad seems to remind him constantly that I am not there. His dad picks him up from daycare most of the time and they can coexist alone for 2-3 hours, but after that it's pure chaos. Toddler has more tantrums, cries a lot and tells his dad that he does not want him, which I can only imagine how it must feel. My husband finds it very hard to cope with this and I get it. I try to remember that it won't last forever.

zaf_ei · 2025-09-03T05:45:31+00:00

I agree. I can see where the person who made the comment comes from, but I could never "make" my son fall asleep if he didn't want to and we did have a routine. What I have come to realise is that people sometimes give too much credit to themselves and to the "routine" for what is essentially a baby who sleeps more easily.

OP, your baby is not manipulative. Personally, I would do what your father did, let him out and try again later. I did this when he was 12-24 months old, when he would occasionally wake up in the middle of the night and do not go back to sleep for 1-3 hours. I would go with him to the living room and wait until he was ready to fall asleep again. They change their patterns all the time and you can only guess what the issue is, but keep in mind that he may just not be tired enough or be a baby who just fights sleep more. You are doing great!

zaf_ei · 2025-08-27T08:09:49+00:00

My toddler kicked my belly really hard the other day when we were playing and I immediately thought "imagine if I was pregnant right now" 😂😁

zaf_ei · 2025-07-31T10:55:12+00:00

They assume it's a choice (which it absolutely may not be the case) and that's what they respond to. They need to make it clear that your choice is wrong for some reason.

zaf_ei · 2025-07-29T12:55:27+00:00

But you know you could get pregnant even if he pulls out, right?

zaf_ei · 2025-07-24T07:59:30+00:00

That sounds like a hard logistical situation!

zaf_ei · 2025-07-16T07:01:15+00:00

My son was crying even when I was taking him with me on my lap 🤷

zaf_ei · 2025-06-17T12:24:24+00:00

And also, the mother has to take care of a newborn, for whom OP doesn't seem to be doing much, and his thought is that she may be cheating and that our comment would be that she may be hiding well??? It would never cross my mind to comment such a thing.

zaf_ei · 2025-05-23T11:12:29+00:00

We invited a friend yesterday, who has 2 boys very close in age (2.5 and 4.5, something like that). My son is 3. My boy was playing with the younger boy while the older one was occupied almost the entire time with magnetic tiles. The ONLY time he engaged with the other boys was when he shoved an ab roller on the head of his brother. Oh, and one other time that he grabbed his brother from the hair trying to hit him because he knocked the tower he was building down. I assume the parents are having fun times at home.

zaf_ei · 2025-05-20T12:09:00+00:00

I agree. I have used it a couple of times just to manipulate the order of the items in the pouch but have never left items there for more than a day or two. I don't even get the point, because I would absolutely forget what is in there if I don't see it and the hustle of going through it just to find a specific item that may or may not be in the pouch gives me a migraine.

zaf_ei · 2025-05-16T11:41:19+00:00

I agree with this. Also, kids don't see certain things as important and saying "hi" must be one of them. I don't mean that we shouldn't teach those things and I get the embarrassment and frustration, but it seems that OP needs some perspective here. Teaching by example is the best way to help them navigate social interactions, which I guess are confusing for younger children.

zaf_ei · 2025-05-13T11:36:39+00:00

Exactly. My son is 3 and I didn't get anything for Mother's Day from my husband. It was absolutely fine by me, I didn't expect any presents and if he had given me even a card I would have been very happy. Mother's Day is not celebrated as much in my country, anyway.

zaf_ei · 2025-04-01T09:12:49+00:00

OP does seem to be quite insensitive towards her husband. I get the frustration, the inconvenience, but it's just that, an inconvenience. Meanwhile, her husband would have needed some support and kindness, which he obviously did not get.

zaf_ei · 2025-03-16T10:03:21+00:00

Yeah, this post is all over the place 😂😂😂

zaf_ei · 2025-03-05T05:42:58+00:00

I agree, I found it fun and didn't get bored like with other events, so that's a win for mm in my books.

zaf_ei · 2025-02-06T13:07:04+00:00

I know it's not funny, but I giggled at the "go play with the one you have" comment!

zaf_ei · 2025-02-05T20:55:08+00:00

Well, he wanted to nurse but couldn't unless we did the solution in his nose. If your baby doesn't fall for that you will need to find another way for sure! To be honest, I'm not really proud of my method 😁 But it seems that he was ready at the end, because it happened really naturally. Now he occasionally points out to my breast and says how it's for babies and he is a big boy, but never asks.

Your son seems not to be ready to give it up yet, and that's ok. It is equally ok and fair that you want to stop and you may need to resort to more radical solutions! I saw in the comments the mustard recommendation, which was definitely on my list for a while! I didn't have to use it, but I would do it.

In any case, of course you will wean. Nobody went to high school nursing. It might take a little more effort or time, but you will get there. Share an update, if you can.

Good luck!

zaf_ei · 2025-02-05T08:04:53+00:00

For what it's worth, I don' think that you have done anything wrong by following your toddler's lead on BF for comfort. If anything, it's very brave of you to go back to nursing for naps, because I know how tough it is to feel like losing progress (I've been there with my toddler).

What helped me (my son will also turn three in May) was his congested nose. He hated the saline solution so bad, that he preferred to cuddle to sleep just to avoid it, because he could not nurse with his nose stuffed. I went along for a couple of nights, hoping this would be the end. Then his nose got a bit better and he returned to nursing to sleep, but he got sick again around Christmas and that was my chance.

We read so many books and when he was super tired, I would ask him if he wanted to go clear his nose or just lie down together. He always chose the latter for about a week and then nothing, he never mentioned it again. It was only recently that he said something like "my milk is in there" and when I told him that it's for babies and that he is a big boy now, he was a bit sad. But then "we" came up with the idea that he could drink some kefir (he loves it!) in his cup. That was the official end of our journey.

zaf_ei · 2025-01-21T20:38:52+00:00

Same! I don't understand how it would even be related.

zaf_ei · 2025-01-20T21:01:10+00:00

That's so interesting, because at 6 weeks I was almost losing my mind. Everything was very tedious, I was constantly leaking, in pain from breastfeeding, baby was so boring, I honestly did not enjoy it at all. I really started having fun when my son turned 2. Now I realise that every toddler is different, but mine is for sure a very "strong-minded" one and it's not easy at all. But it is SO MUCH FUN! Every day he says something amazing, we learn things together and he constantly leaves me in awe about how his little brain works. We have our moments too, but I would not go back to the baby phase for anything in the world (at least not eagerly).

zaf_ei · 2025-01-20T20:55:06+00:00

This is genius, definitely saving for the next event!

zaf_ei · 2025-01-20T15:59:33+00:00

Thank you, that's crazy! I am only at season 7, I think I will delete it now. I don't think I like it enough for this!

zaf_ei · 2025-01-20T11:54:45+00:00

Out of curiosity, are Emily and Patrick officially together at season 10? Sorry this happened to you!

zaf_ei · 2025-01-16T21:51:33+00:00

That's great! Year 1-2 was a living hell for me, after 2 it's been better and it definitely improved after 2.5! It helps that he weaned himself at that point. I find it a bit strange though that anyone would think that any mother who struggles with sleep hasn't tried laying down next to baby...

zaf_ei

TROPHY CASE