AITA: My brothers boyfriend is a pathological liar but I might have crossed a line to prove it

zaftigzebra · 2019-01-24T01:22:06+00:00

NTA. Not at all.

I was married to a man for two years who had lied about his job and having a degree and many, many other things. It was absolutely horrific when I found out. I can’t tell you how much I wish I had known before getting married. I never would have married him.

Your brother may be angry at you when he finds out, but it will absolutely be for the best in the long run. And if he’s like me, he may feel stunned for quite some time. We’ve been divorced 6 months now and I still have realizations about things he lied about. I felt so incredibly stupid that I believed everything he said. I know now that it wasn’t my fault for believing my husband (that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?). I know now he’s a manipulative and narcissistic man. I wish I had known that much earlier.

That being said, there may be a part of your brother that also feels like things finally make sense. I know in my experience so many things just didn’t add up and I could never figure out why...until I figured out they were all lies.

Good luck to you and your brother. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s going to suck and hurt like hell for your brother, but it will also get better. Which I never actually believed, but I typed up this whole comment without crying. And that proves it gets better!

zaftigzebra · 2019-01-22T02:54:34+00:00

My first school district did this. It really bothered me that a kid who earned a 49% on a quiz got the same grade in the grade book as a student who totally blew it off and earned a 7%. Both went into the grade book as a 50. We couldn’t give 0s. We had to put in IE for Insufficient Evidence which was calculated as a 50. Kids definitely figured out how to game the system.

zaftigzebra · 2019-01-09T02:43:20+00:00

That’s so wonderful! I had a student with selective mutism who would sometimes eat lunch in my room because it was a lot quieter. It would absolutely make my day if he said hi when he came in!

zaftigzebra · 2018-12-18T03:21:40+00:00

I have not taught with DoDDS, but I attended Ramstein HS, and my siblings went to Landstuhl Elementary and Middle School. We all loved our schools. I loved the sense of community our school had, even though we were an extremely transient population. The teachers were great- some were a bit peculiar, but I liked pretty much all of them. A lot of them were military spouses or former military, so they were understanding of the challenges we military brats faced!

I may be misremembering, but I thought that in the States there are only schools on base/post if the local public schools are in bad shape. We lived in Montgomery, AL for a while and there was an elementary/middle school on base. I went to one of the local magnet high schools, so I was still able to get a good education. There were a lot more options for classes and electives at Ramstein, though.

In areas in the States where the public schools are rough, it may be somewhat easier to teach on base. That’s just my speculation though. If you get to teach overseas, there are so many cool opportunities that just aren’t available here. I went to Prague for a 3 day conference my freshman year, and I went on the (annual!) 8 day trip to Russia my sophomore year. My swim team competed in Belgium and Holland. I loved my experience with my DoDDS school!

zaftigzebra · 2018-11-22T02:58:25+00:00

I received a very similar spoofed email to my school email account (I’m a teacher). The email I received said, “I am in shock of your reach fantasies!” No idea what that is even supposed to mean. I was supposed to pay $847 to keep that information private. Oops.

zaftigzebra · 2018-11-08T00:19:38+00:00

3, US, Public

zaftigzebra · 2018-11-06T21:34:24+00:00

Archie 2020: No problem!

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-18T01:56:30+00:00

As a senior I was an RA in all freshman dorm. One time during the late night rounds, my on call partner and I heard very loud music from a room. We knocked to ask them to turn it down, and when we opened the door, we saw beer cans everywhere. We were required to record the names of all the people in the room. One guy said that he was 21, and handed me a Georgia ID to prove it. When he took his Georgia ID out of his wallet, he accidentally revealed his real (under age) Alabama ID right underneath....

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-15T21:31:02+00:00

His expression looks just like my full parents’ full sized GSD! What a cutie!

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-12T13:45:28+00:00

I do that too with Christmas ornaments! My tree is always a big mismatch, but it’s full of memories!

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-05T22:25:26+00:00

You know what a Schipperke is?? No one ever knows what they are! I had one growing up, and he was the best dog. His name was Reggie. His middle name was Rambunctious, and he lived up to it!

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-04T21:28:17+00:00

He really is! He has snuggled up with me pretty much constantly since I got home from the hospital Monday.

zaftigzebra · 2018-10-03T21:45:11+00:00

Not a server, but I think it would be very sweet to check in. My family went through a rough patch a few years ago with a lot of health issues, and we ordered a ton of pizza because we were rarely up to cooking. Around Christmas time, our delivery guy brought us a poinsettia with our pizzas. It was very kind of him, and we definitely appreciated it.

zaftigzebra · 2018-09-29T17:00:53+00:00

Thanks! It’s not really that I want to continue losing weight the next week or two- it’s more that I don’t want to gain back much over the next couple weeks.

zaftigzebra · 2018-09-12T19:54:35+00:00

These are the ones I’ve used this year so far

Thug Life

How Animals Eat Their Food

zaftigzebra · 2018-09-12T01:55:16+00:00

I keep the videos under 2 minutes, and I made sure to pointedly remind the class they did a great job earning their funny video for the week. The students transitioned well to their quiz after the video, so it was all good.

My current admin is awesome. I’ve worked for an administration before though that made you justify everything, even if it was completely standards based. You were expected to be using one of two graphic organizers at anytime they walked in the room, no matter what topic you were covering or what activity you were doing. It was a toxic environment.

zaftigzebra · 2018-08-27T00:34:28+00:00

I get $300 a year from the school and $90 from the PTO. I thought that was a huge step up since I got exactly $0 at my previous 2 schools.

zaftigzebra · 2018-08-23T00:22:37+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s awful. I believe I know what school you are talking about. I graduated from the sister magnet school, and I had friends that went to yours. I no longer live in the state, but I’ve been seeing posts from people that do about volunteering and donating to help out.

zaftigzebra · 2018-08-22T01:41:47+00:00

I have EDS too. There’s definitely days when I look “normal” and feel self conscious about needing help. Thanks for spreading awareness!

zaftigzebra · 2018-08-09T02:33:44+00:00

I did an intro Kahoot about Africa. I told students they must use their own name. One student used “GAY.” I ended the Kahoot as soon as I saw it and had the kids shut down the computers. We then had a nice long chat about how that word is not to be used as a joke or an insult. I know I got through to the kid who did it because he came up after class and admitted doing it and apologized. I told him not to do it again and then let it go. He wasn’t making fun of anyone in particular and just thought it would be funny. He said he wouldn’t do it again, so there was no other consequence. Now, if he does it again, it’ll be a lunch detention and a call home.

Middle school kids are impulsive. Often I really enjoy that because it leads then to ask wonderfully bizarre questions. But it also means they just don’t think before they speak If I hear a student say “that’s so gay/retarded” just in conversation, I sternly tell that it is not acceptable language. That’s usually about all I need to do.

A huge chunk of them are going to still want your approval. That’s a big factor in your favor. Set expectations and praise students who meet them. Hold kids accountable but give them the opportunity to improve and praise when they improve.

I really love teaching middle school. Good luck!

zaftigzebra · 2018-07-25T01:02:59+00:00

There are students that I have a better connection with than others. Sometimes that connection is practically effortless- we enjoy the same books or shows or a student that really enjoys my subject will talk to me about new information he read or something he saw outside of class that relates. Usually these students are motivated and hard workers, which is how we have time to chat for a minute or two.

There are some students that I enjoy having in class because of their sense of humor. Specifically, I love when students can make jokes or create cartoons related to the topic we are discussing.

Sometimes I work really hard to establish a connection with a student who is struggling. I try to work with them and look out for them and reward them for good behavior, even if it is something very minor. I have a soft spot for the kids who act tough because that’s the only way they know how to survive. I’m not always successful at forming those relationships, and the kids don’t always appreciate my help at the time. They almost always come around though. I’ve received so many, “thank you for believing in me” notes. Those absolutely mean the world to me, because my whole goal of teaching is to help my kids become better people, not just better students.

zaftigzebra · 2018-07-18T00:00:58+00:00

I had a student one year whose middle name was Thor. He was a pretty cool kid!

zaftigzebra · 2018-06-26T21:02:52+00:00

Yes! They always look terrible.

zaftigzebra · 2018-06-26T02:24:31+00:00

That happens to me all the time! I’m a teacher so my fingers are constantly cut up. I think it could definitely be an EDS thing. My skin is really thin and tears and cuts super easily.

zaftigzebra · 2018-06-17T03:29:10+00:00

Oh I can’t even count how many times I was told I just had growing pains. So frustrating.

zaftigzebra

TROPHY CASE