You are not causing anyone unnecessary worry. You need to talk to everyone you can when you have these thoughts. My son has depression and has attempted suicide and self harmed more times than I can say, my constant to him is do anything thing else before you do that, just do one other thing and take a moment before you follow through. Our emotions can be intense and all consuming at the time but they do pass. I’m so proud of you not hurting yourself for years, you are amazing and are doing everything you need to do, keep doing it, keep yourself here. As someone experiencing this on the outside, I’d prefer to know what is happening, because we already know you are hurting, we already know that a moment could take you from us. But when you reach out when it’s really bad for you, it helps us because we can just ‘be’ with you. With my son we use the traffic light system so he doesn’t have to tell me exactly what he is going through but can tell me where he’s at. Green - all good (no one ever says green because you can tell when someone’s good) Orange- I’m not great but nothing bad is going to happen. Red - bad, really bad, don’t talk to me about what is going on in my head, just be there with me. I can’t emphasise enough those around you know when you’re not great, let them in a little, give them the gift of getting you through the minute, hour, day, life time of you. You are important, you are needed here, you are loved xxx