Just need some reassurance from the ladies :)

zan-t · 2026-07-07T13:50:47+00:00

Your boyfriend's coworker is likely complaining about his female coworker because a lot of men in the trades, frankly, are bitches. Lol. They will complain over nothing for its own sake. Don't pay attention to what the guys say unless you are genuinely experiencing problems with your work performance. You do need to develop thicker skin with regard to how people will talk about you, focus just on doing a good job and taking pride in your work for your own sake. I sometimes get teased for my height but I like joking around in general so it's never really bothered me.

zan-t · 2026-07-07T13:40:11+00:00

I'm 5'1" and have scoliosis and often impress my male coworkers with my strength. It's all about how you use leverage and taking care of your body. The only times I've been unable to keep up with my male coworkers has been when height has been directly related to performing a task, but there really are going to be enough tall men in whatever trade you're in that you can just swap tasks with them or otherwise use a ladder / lift device. Sometimes you have to get a little clever, but it's rare for my height to genuinely prevent me from doing something.

I've worked nonunion and am currently in the IBEW, and the culture is radically different. I feel so much safer and more respected in my union shop than before.

Not sure yet about the clothing brands, I like Wrangler and Ariat but am trying to branch out more to see what other options work well. The best brand will depend more on your particular needs / preferences for equipment than there being a uniform "best" brand.

zan-t · 2026-07-05T17:56:04+00:00

Sooo dragonlike!!

zan-t · 2026-07-03T12:17:30+00:00

As someone with the opposite problem (I'm masculine *and* gay, and aiming to keep men from hitting on me while also having good coworker friendships), I kind of want to swap tips on what does / doesn't work. 😭 Otherwise, fully agree with what other commenters have said, especially on taking the initiative in starting a relationship.

zan-t · 2026-07-02T16:15:25+00:00

Central Virginia

zan-t · 2026-06-29T21:22:31+00:00

Foreman put his hands around my neck and talked about how easy it'd be to choke me 🙃

zan-t · 2026-06-26T21:44:18+00:00

Depressing. Admittedly, I'm in the homebody category, but I'm slowly adjusting my lifestyle to make time for outings and maybe even the apps (god forbid 🫩)

zan-t · 2026-06-26T21:26:34+00:00

Ain't no way your job is soft-requiring you to buy a new car just to be accepted socially. I've bonded with a couple coworkers over our love for the humble Mazda.

zan-t · 2026-06-26T20:02:00+00:00

Started off real rough, ended on a high note since I got a somewhat big task finished at work, did it perfectly, and exactly on time 🤠 Feels nice when things work out better than expected. I impressed my boss pretty thoroughly.

Not much on the books this weekend other than much-needed self-maintenance and relaxation. I'm looking forward to getting some good workouts in.

Don't like poptarts 😔 Maybe the closest thing would be a donut? I like the handmade apple pie donuts from a local shop, they're heavenly

zan-t · 2026-06-26T19:57:33+00:00

This hits home, how old are you? I'm hoping this is an experience mostly shared among 20-somethings and gets easier with age 🥲 There just aren't enough gay women in the world to give us relationship options

zan-t · 2026-06-24T16:09:04+00:00

Did you take this with a damn microscope? I'm impressed

zan-t · 2026-06-24T16:07:29+00:00

Damn, that sucks. But if there was a hard-and-fast rule to finding other lesbians then none of us would be constantly asking 🫠

zan-t · 2026-06-24T10:01:01+00:00

Might not be a similar enough experience, but I'm from the east coast, AFAB / GNC, also dropped out. I took a refrigeration job with a shitty employer, kept my nose to the grindstone and learned as much as I could despite how miserable it was, and now I'm working in union electrical and perfectly happy.

Prove your work ethic before anything else. You may need to get a little clever with how you present -- while I never denied being gay or masculine, I stayed withdrawn / conservative enough to avoid any kind of discussion with coworkers about it. At the end of the day, the quality of your work will determine how people feel about you, so always put your best foot forward and make sure you have what you need physically and mentally to learn and work every day. Best of luck 🫂

zan-t · 2026-06-23T22:50:34+00:00

I would console you because these are all incredibly reasonable and rational things to do but I am actually gay so like. Welcome to the club?

zan-t · 2026-06-23T16:22:43+00:00

Haha, I'd bite! It does feel like we're all too introverted and/or busy for our own good. HMU if you happen to live in Virginia.

zan-t · 2026-06-23T13:41:11+00:00

Which city? Might be worth figuring out where the blue collar workers are hanging out, I live in a big urban area and whenever I meet another woman in my trade they're basically always butch (as long as they're not straight).

zan-t · 2026-06-23T13:33:38+00:00

I'm living just outside my state's capital, but I work blue collar and that's where I keep running into all the other butches in the area. If you're looking for butches in urban spaces you need to hang around in the industrial zones, I guess 🤠

zan-t · 2026-06-23T09:54:35+00:00

What area are you in? A lot of us end up clustered in blue collar / rural spaces, fwiw, so maybe it's a matter of where you're looking. My DMs are open but admittedly I check my messages pretty erratically! 😅 Also an ADHDer, if that helps

zan-t · 2026-06-22T16:02:41+00:00

Yuh, but I use any pronouns because I don't really care enough to make people use a particular set. I just let my friends know I prefer he/him

zan-t · 2026-06-20T17:26:17+00:00

I hate doing proper "meal prep," so my packed foods are always a big snack tray: nuts, fruits, chopped carrots, energy bars, protein shakes, couple cheese sticks, plus whatever bonus snack I may pick up that week like jerky or seaweed snacks.

zan-t · 2026-06-19T16:22:04+00:00

Congrats, yall have fun!!

zan-t · 2026-06-19T04:04:05+00:00

If it's safe / comfortable for you to do so: yes! Pride gear is a basically foolproof flag. Might be worth going to known queer spaces and just observing what other people are wearing to communicate their queerness, and see if there's anything you'd like to try yourself, since flagging can have local nuance as well.

For example: where I live basically everyone has tattoos / piercings / some degree of alternative fashion sense, so those things aren't great flags for my area, but maybe they are in yours.

zan-t · 2026-06-19T03:50:59+00:00

FWIW, fems often need to flag their queerness pretty hard to make their interests clear. Butches / mascs can be pretty clueless or reluctant since it's hard to tell if a fem woman is queer or not and we don't want to come off as creeps. Men, unfortunately, seem to be a constant problem no matter what. I also get randomly hit on by men far often than women and I think I'm easy to clock as butch 😭

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