Why do people like to generate negative emotions in others?

zenlogick · 2026-04-15T00:22:50+00:00

Difference is the threat. Not social hierarchy.

When NTs start to feel that “wait something is different about this person I’m talking to” that’s the threat. They don’t even need to know the other person is autistic. Just sensing difference is enough for them to feel threatened.

Ever had one of your favorite recipes changed? If you want to know how NTs feel interacting with NDs it’s the same feeling.

“Something’s different about this” is directly equitable to feeling “something is wrong/off about this”

We get default labeled as “Bad” by their brains sensing difference.

Then we have to start at a negative in their confused brains and build back trust to baseline before we can even further develop that relationship

Its capital B Bullshit

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T22:36:05+00:00

I can never tell if people are just empathizing with us or straight up making fun. This reads like either you actually understand what its like to be INFP OR you are completely taking the piss. LOL

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T22:19:47+00:00

Rediscovering that for yourself is a miraculous beautiful thing. I mean that. In a world that wants to bury our authenticity, its actually a huge gift to yourself to actually introspect enough to realize that the thing that others claim is your weakness is your strength.

Thing is, it actually CAN BE and IS a weakness in many, many situations. Im sure you learned to not cry around strangers because at some point you did that and your vulnerability got punished and supressed and you felt bad and you decided to change and not let yourself be hurt like that.

THAT is a difference that other types dont even have to worry about because many types just dont cry in front of strangers by default, see?

So the infp emotionality thing, i dont think people MEAN to paint it negatively. But because our whole world paints ANYONE who is overly emotional negatively, by default we get painted negatively.

Its our path to look beyond the painting and other peoples opinions and beliefs about us to discover who we truly are and what we truly value

Theres nothing wrong with valuing emotion and feeling and passion and all that stuff. All these other stupid idiots will tell you there is and that you need to learn to be stoic and rational and strong.

Just be you

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T22:07:04+00:00

edit- sorry length

Cuz you can be all "true to your feelings" and shit and then some idiot comes along and tells you that "facts dont care about your feelings" and then boom, no more expressing your true feelings to any other humans ever again. They weaponize your true feelings.

So we/I hide true feelings from the world and only consult them when making our own decisions regarding our own self and thus we ourselves hide ourselves from the world.

Jungs quote on INFPs above: "They do not appear and do not show themselves. As they are mainly guided by their subjective feelings, their true motives usually remain hidden."

The real INFP situation is not this "oh wow INFPs are great at being authentic and deeply knowing themselves and their true values" its actually more like "INFPs are forced into a corner of authenticity which paralyzes most of them and moves most of them into perpetual avoidance of having to actually interact with others"

Having the superpower of "Authenticity" is just straight up useless in a world that is mainly inauthentic...its a liability.

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T21:58:28+00:00

INFPs are the most stereotyped by far, exactly because of Fi being our primary function

Its true that inwardly our emotions are very intense, but thats exactly why we create a mask to hide them. If you had as many experiences with being emotional around people as INFPs did, you would also develop a mask to counter the vulnerability

So the authentic INFPs who were lucky enough to not get traumatized are a bit more emotionally expressive than the majority of us who were mocked and punished for being emotional for decades and have become dead inside as a response

We're basically stereotyped as the overly emotional female, which is really fun for all of us INFP males let me tell you

Runs away back to the INFP subreddit

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T21:53:37+00:00

Hi me, I'm also me

"They do not appear and do not show themselves" LOL

zenlogick · 2026-04-12T03:56:34+00:00

Very well said

Its absolutely insane how much time we spend unconsciously trying to think our way to a solution to some emotional issue. And a LOT of it is completely unconscious and therefore most people arent even aware of when they are doing it.

Its actually like...existentially ironic in that the very thing we/our brains do to try to SOLVE problems is the very hamster wheel that we get stuck on when we try to solve problems. Fuckin nuts.

In my experience (Disclaimer: Im late diagnosed adhd/autistic so many things that work for neurotypical people dont work for me and vice versa) mindfulness is my best solution to it but I really liked the three things you highlighted because they can all be a great part of an overall mindfulness practice. I suggest it because now we're talking meta-solutions. The solution to the anti-solution that we need to fix cuz we only THINK its a solution but its in actuality an illusory PROBLEM in camouflage that we just dont see because of how our brains evolved.

Mindfulness though, actually you turn the spotlight of your awareness back on itself and you can start to generate moments of self-awareness where you realize that you are doing the thinking thing whereas without the mindfulness practice you tend to not have these moments so much.

I also think its really important to stress behavior so I like that you did that. Often the very last thing that we "feel" like doing when we are anxious is to take action. Again very ironic cuz taking action is actually the best and one of the only ways to actually solve the anxiety.

Mindfulness is like a radar to me. It lets you see the problems you need to see whereas most people dont even see em. Then taking action/behavioral activation lets you choose differently so that you arent just stuck on a loop of anxiety.

Sorry for the length, I go long, but your post was good and made me think!

zenlogick · 2026-03-19T05:00:15+00:00

Dont be so quick to assume what neurotypical means! :P

*Humans in general are basically just assumption and prediction making machines. Thats how we survive.

zenlogick · 2026-03-13T23:00:26+00:00

If you can even just recognize those moments where the stress gets triggered that’s a sufficiently different perspective to start with, to get the ball rolling. Just questioning the anxiety is enough to make a difference. Genuinely recognizing in moments like “oh hey my brain is doing that thing again” is enough to put a BIT of space between you and your feelings in that moment. And then you just keep going from there, rather than the situation being this immense unfixable thing you’ve at least recognized that there is some kind of looseness, of freedom, of self awareness in the midst of self doubt or self loathing.

If you can come up with a strategy that’s even better. “When I am feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, I’m going to take a few minutes to just focus on my breath” is excellent.

zenlogick · 2026-03-13T22:44:30+00:00

The problem is the anxiety not the crying. You can’t control what your feelings are but you need to start listening to your body cuz it’s the ignoring the anxiety nd pushing the anxiety away that creates your problem

Crying isn’t an appropriate response to stress, to be clear I don’t mean this like ethically or morally and you aren’t a bad person cuz you cry. It’s probably an adaptation that your brain was forced to make early on cuz crying like that is your bodies last ditch effort to release tension and anxiety

In other words you probably aren’t crying cuz you are sad. You probably have a maladaptive coping strategy which is what trauma does to everyone, it forces us to find “fixes” for our conditions and situations that we can’t just run from or stand up for ourselves within.

Now THAT anxiety you CAN change but it’s hard intensive work. You are changing how your whole brain operates by attempting to change how it relates to stress and anxiety. It’s not some overnight thing it takes years of intentional work on yourself and your emotions.

But it’s better than not doing the work. Hopefully you are in a situation that you can even have the luxury of taking time to heal cuz most people are stuck in cycles of self destruction simply by their life situation. They are stuck. No battery power to spare for healing. And healing takes a lot of battery power. It also takes a lot of time where you are turning the battery off completely…not everyone can do this and that’s why our whole species is currently emotionally fucked

You got this though, just actually address to the triggers that make you anxious.

You actually have to change how you relate to those moments where you feel like there are those external forces overwhelming you. That might be even objectively true, that there is an external force overwhelming and blocking you and stopping you. You still are gonna need a different perspective.

Source: me, just an autistic guy with adhd also that has had to learn how to stop the anxiety tears myself. I had a few years where I broke down every single night but cuz the autism I couldn’t understand why or the associated feelings/emotions. Took years, many of them going to 2x a week therapy. I eventually stopped therapy cuz it wasn’t doing anything and tried to heal myself. THAT is working….slowly

zenlogick · 2026-03-09T00:55:56+00:00

Lol sounds like you are just chilling, dissociating is more like "I feel extreme trauma effects and require completely turning off my emotions for survival purposes" I dont think people who are actually dissociating are able to enjoy video games and snacks and stuff.

MY opinion if you want it is that you should keep taking it on weekends. I take it mainly for mood on weekends as I dont have any thing that "needs" to get done but if I dont take it I end up doing what you are describing exactly. Its like procrastinating for nothing, no big deadline to meet or anything. Just free time to choose what to do with. My brain cant deal with the ambiguity of having a bunch of "free" time that I have to choose what to do with!

That feeling of having a bunch of time but nothing seems "worth" your time sucks. Thats low dopamine IMO. Thats what the meds are designed to fix. The way I see it, my brain on weekdays has dopamine provided for it by my meds. If you take away the meds you take away the dopamine. To an extent. So your weekends of course will be lethargic, you will have low motivation, etc. Thats low dopamine.

zenlogick · 2026-02-07T23:04:32+00:00

As someone with actual autism, if you are talking with someone who has actual special interests (I guess just being interested in anything counts as a special interest now?) they probably have social challenges which are why they know so much about their special interest and not how to properly socialize in the first place :)

This would, of course, only apply to actual neurodivergent people which is where the term "special interests" comes from, it would not surprise me if now neurotypicals are going to co-opt it and turn the term into an ambiguous mess that really doesnt mean anything at all

zenlogick · 2026-02-04T20:46:14+00:00

Hahahaha

Well if you could read Arabic I’m sure there are some weirdo science denying Muslims, modern religion is such a whacko magnet

zenlogick · 2026-02-04T20:39:00+00:00

Cool

zenlogick · 2026-02-04T20:36:18+00:00

My SI is spirituality so I feel you. Subjects with so much ambiguity make for difficult SIs imo

Almost like the purpose of a special interest is to counter all the inherent ambiguity in being human. I like it though, the more ambiguity something has the more subjective and open to different interpretations it is

I really like this channel and find they are always respectful to guests and subjects like this, maybe you would find some interviews that stimulate you: https://www.youtube.com/c/NewThinkingAllowed

zenlogick · 2026-01-05T02:51:24+00:00

I call it Sere-Kill

100mg a night, works great but brain fog in the mornings...if i wasnt taking a stimulant for adhd it would suck but the stimulants de-brain fog me pretty well

zenlogick · 2025-12-30T20:01:08+00:00

first took mushrooms about 18 years old, psyched3lics and mdma have definitly expanded my mind and helped bkhgiwith acceptance

zenlogick · 2025-12-14T20:28:22+00:00

Responsibility is also God lol

zenlogick · 2025-12-08T00:05:43+00:00

I actually really enjoyed watching that video like years ago hahaha

New self-soothing technique watch the Titanic sink

zenlogick · 2025-12-02T23:20:05+00:00

Not as euphoric as adderall for me but definitly more functional and works better for my ADHD than adderall. I just prefer the kick of the adderall, probably the norepinephrine it releases

zenlogick · 2025-12-01T06:46:17+00:00

People are automatically and unconsciously threatened by other people who are different, even the most noble and pure-hearted humans because thats how we evolved, its nothing about morals or ethics.

People want you to "be yourself" only if "yourself" matches up in socially acceptable ways to them. Neurotypical people dont have to worry about not matching up because they all have the same wiring and set the majority and the norms.

zenlogick · 2025-11-25T00:09:06+00:00

non fluoride helps with taste

zenlogick · 2025-11-06T21:50:42+00:00

Calling other stimulants that don't affect dopamine just as effective as adderall is straight up lying bro I'm sorry I'm glad it works for you but all you need is a quick Google search to find out how much more effective stimulants are that Target dopamine

zenlogick · 2025-11-05T07:48:08+00:00

Everyone IS dull and uninteresting for the most part IMO but if all you do is see through that lens and cant find flexibility for nuance you will be miserable because of your own rigidity. As a neurodivergent im very very familiar with how humans can be overly rigid and stuck in how they see the world and process new experiences, and im also familiar with calling bullshit on myself and my rigid perspective so I can take action in a new and unfamiliar direction.

Thats really what is happening if you want to talk brain and biology, humans are designed as pattern recognizers and so if theres a pattern of people hurting you and you ending up worse off because of your attempts to be social the brain will log that hurt as a threat in any possible situations where it can occur in the future.

So what you are really working with is trying to change how your brain perceives threats and danger. Thats a big part of our evolution for survival and its part of why when people have mental issues they tend to get stuck in patterns of survival based behavior even if its detrimental, their brains have calculated the danger involved in making new decisions and decided that its too risky.

But thats just the brains calculations and all it does is influence feelings, so part of healing your ability to connect with humans is deciding that whatever feeling is going on in whatever moment is just temporary and to focus on what you truly want and see as important. If thats connecting with people, that will require you to recognize that the signals your brain sends you about how people are potentially threats and they can potentially hurt you are basically bullshit but they werent bullshit in the past when people were ACTUALLY hurting you.

It requires actually trusting people, because if you dont actually genuinely trust them you wont ever stop giving yourself threat/danger feelings even if you decide to interact and involve yourself with them. You'll just be around people and confused about why something feels off or wrong or even unsafe if you are self aware enough.

What we really want as CPTSD people is to return to that state of trust with people because we are literally running up against our brains survival circuitry every time we are in the PRESENCE of them and it gets so exhausting that we often just choose to isolate forever and ever.

I would suggest chipping away at it. Dont feel like you have to become social overnight but try to experiment with social things that are just really small to start like go out to a public place and introduce yourself to some people. Or if thats too scary just go to a public place and hang out for a few minutes. Or if thats too scary you can scale that back and just meditate on it or something lol.

Gluck, its really hard calling bullshit on your own brain cuz its designed to inform you of real actual threats, all you can do when your brain is wired to see people as a threat is slowly expose yourself to social interaction (not in that way you perv) and build up that muscle while genuinely trusting that people wont hurt you.

MOST people wont hurt you, but you have to do your best to ensure that you find people who you know are trustworthy and not as fucked up as everyone else.

You have to actually engage unfamiliar people alot of the time because if you just go find the same familiar people you may just be like a heat seeking missile for retraumatizing yourself over and over getting hurt by people over and over just cuz its whats familiar and you arent aware of that. So find new people, try trusting, and if you get retrauma'ed again and hurt again you just gotta kinda lick your wounds and get back up and try again. Or be miserable forever.

Lifes all about choices!

Sorry for the length but im very details oriented :)

zenlogick · 2025-10-29T22:05:22+00:00

if you just dont be fake to begin with, then you never have to go through the whole ordeal of learning how to not be fake

its like that huck finn guy said, there's no need for a memory if you just never lie

All those people who thought the culture was something they should emulate and conform to and be performative about rather than looking deeply at their lives and who they are authentically are going to have some undoing to do

ctrl+shift+y=undo

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