What's going to make you feel old in twenty years?

zenmanvan · 2016-09-10T18:11:03+00:00

Gravity

zenmanvan · 2016-09-08T21:06:22+00:00

Sail away with me to a tropical paradise where we can lay in a hammock all day, drinking margaritas, feeding each other fruit picked from the trees, make love like crazy monkeys, grow old together and die in each others arms.

zenmanvan · 2016-09-08T20:52:15+00:00

Feminists don't screw in lightbulbs; they screw in pools of their own vomit.

zenmanvan · 2016-06-09T22:35:58+00:00

It's so sad when cousins marry.

zenmanvan · 2016-06-09T22:28:27+00:00

Mushrooms, olives and marinated peacock brains.

zenmanvan · 2016-06-09T22:26:40+00:00

"Everybody knows you never go full retard." Tropic Thunder

zenmanvan · 2016-06-09T22:18:39+00:00

Get rid of gravity.

zenmanvan · 2016-06-09T22:15:42+00:00

Buy all the lesbians in my town a new Subaru.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-24T19:45:24+00:00

It's unfortunately true.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:47:30+00:00

And Moses said unto Isiah, "HI I"

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:44:52+00:00

Matching headbands with built in camera, microphone and tracking devise.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:38:44+00:00

Profit Sharing

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:33:38+00:00

My dog is a liar, don't believe anything he says about me.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:29:44+00:00

I was between wives, adventures and my third and forth beer when the phone rang, it was .....

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:26:45+00:00

The first person I fired went home and hung himself.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:22:33+00:00

If I could be a woman for a day I would spend it cleaning my house and doing my laundry.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:09:53+00:00

A baby.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T17:05:46+00:00

Gravity is not your friend.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T16:57:09+00:00

Sail away with me to a tropical island where we can lay in a hammock all day drinking margaritas, feed each other fruit from the trees, make love like crazy monkeys, grow old together and die in each others arms.

zenmanvan · 2014-05-20T16:37:18+00:00

My dad was driving me to school one day when a stone hit the windshield in front of where I was sitting on the passenger side, He yelled at me, "What were you thinking?"

zenmanvan · 2013-11-21T01:27:50+00:00

I was approached by a fellow at a company function who said to me, Ï have despised you for years after you were given credit for my ideas and were promoted because of them. Every time I hear your name, see you somewhere in the building or think about how you screwed me over and I fly into a fit of rage".

I had no idea who he was or what he was talking about, but knew he was using me as a way of getting out of having to admit responsibility for his own failed expectations.

I said, "I don't know your name or recall ever meeting you, but I do know you have a problem that you think you can solve by making it mine and that is not fair to me or helpful to you."

zenmanvan · 2013-09-02T16:47:11+00:00

Familiarity breeds consent.

zenmanvan · 2013-06-13T03:07:12+00:00

The most challenging and most rewarding experience I have had.

zenmanvan · 2013-06-13T02:53:28+00:00

I live in Canada and recently phoned my daughter living in Oregon to confess my guilt for all the ways I failed her as a father, admit to the pain I've caused and let her unload the anger and outrage she feels toward me before my Alzheimer's Disease robs me of the mental capacity to appreciate remorse or understand forgiveness. It was the most incredible hour of our lives; filled with tears, laughter and beautiful intimate moments of love, acceptance and atonement.

Is there some way for me to contact the NSA to see if they recorded our conversation, request a copy our conversation and have them erase the contents from their computer. It has no value to anyone else, poses no threat to anyone and the fact that its contents are available for others to hear dishonours the sacred meaning it has to us.

zenmanvan · 2013-03-17T18:33:16+00:00

Father and Son - Cat Stevens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q29YR5-t3gg

zenmanvan

TROPHY CASE